I don’t post on a regular basis anymore. My blog reading has slowed down considerably too. Still, I think about you guys often and even if I don’t type out an actual post, I’ve written many a blog post in my head.
Just wanted to update anyone who might be interested on what’s been going on lately.
● First, the biggest news; Holden got engaged last weekend. He and his new fiancé, Brittaney, have been dating for almost 4 years now. They have set a date for April 23, 2011. That will be the 5 year anniversary of when they first started going out. He’s young and she’s young, 19 and 18. I’m not thrilled about it and would rather he wait until he’s out of college. Still, it’s his choice. He assures me he is still going to pursue becoming a physical therapist. She will be starting college in the fall at the same place Holden is. They both assure me they are going to stay in school. It’s doable, but it will be hard. I am a firm believer that anyone can do whatever they want as long as they are committed to their goal and will work hard for it. Still, he’s my baby and I’m not ready for it. Guess I have another year to get ready anyway.
● My surgery (hysterectomy) is scheduled for March 29th. The closer it gets the more anxious I get. I’m just ready to get it over with so I can stop thinking about the “what-ifs”. I hope to be having a DaVinci robotic surgery. (I have my pre-op on the 19th so will get more details then.) Mainly I’m worried about how speedy the recovery will be. Really don’t have a whole lot of time off of work. The doctor told me I’d be out 2 weeks, but I’ve requested 3 weeks off to be safe. I’m going to try to go back at the 2 week mark if at all possible. That way if Riley gets sick or has a field trip I want to go on I can take a day off for that. Just don’t want to use up all my sick time if I can help it.
Like I said, I’m anxious. I’m starting to work on getting my house in order. I want everything clean and straight prior to my surgery. My problem is I know what I want to do, but haven’t gotten motivated to do it yet. I’m a very last minute person which only adds to my stress level. I’m trying to push myself to get things done now rather than later. My surgery is the Monday before Easter so I know I need to get my Easter shopping for the kids done pretty soon.
I’ve weighed the pros and cons of surgery and the pros far outweigh the cons. The one thing I keep reminding myself when I have doubts about going through the surgery is that I’ve been hurting going on 20 years now. Also, I hurt about 2 weeks out of every month. When you add that up it means I’m in pain about 6 months out of the year. I just thought of that yesterday. It’s staggering, really, to think I’ve given that much of my life up with this. Just ready to get it over with and get on with my life.
● Riley’s been having a lot of lows lately. I’ve been kind of holding off on doing anything with his basals. Usually this sort of thing works itself out. It doesn’t seem to be doing that so I’ll be sitting down tonight and trying to figure out what to do about the lows and his basals. He had a 48 last night (the lowest he’s had in a good while). Usually, he just says he feels low, drinks a juice, and goes on about his business. But, the 48 threw him for a loop. He was shaky and looked scared to death. The low came right at bedtime and thanks to good ol’ rebounds and my overzealous attempt to stop the low, the rest of his nighttime sugars were over 300. He was 188 at breakfast this morning, so was finally starting to come down. His teacher called at lunch and he was 72. That’s how most of his lows have been: low enough to have him drink juice, but not low enough to really make him feel bad.
● I totally missed Riley’s pump anniversary. I’ve remembered it every year but his one. On March 3rd he had been on the pump for 4 long years. That means his pump warranty has expired. At first we were told that once it expired he could get a new pump. Then, I was told that insurance would not pay for another one until his current pump malfunctions. He has an Animas 2020 now. Once this one croaks he will be getting a Ping. Animas told me that once his pump does malfunction they will still send a replacement pump until all the paperwork is done for a new one. That made me feel better because I thought he might have to be without a pump for a while. So, we sit and wait for his pump to do something crazy. He’s had 9-10 pumps over the past 4 years. The last one he got was in September. This one will probably last for years. While I’m not looking forward to the out of pocket expense for a new pump, I cannot wait for the remote. It seems like it will make things easier. Riley currently wears his pump in pockets sewed into his waistband. So, every time he needs insulin he has to dig in his pants and fish out his pump. It will especially come in handy for dosing in the car.
● My mom is doing better, but still doesn’t have any real answers as to what is going on. Over the past 9 months she’s been in the hospital 4 times. She’s been to the ER 5 times at 3 different hospitals. She’s seen 3 neurologists, a rheumatologist, a psychiatrist, a cardiologist, and a gastroenterologist. She’s even had gallbladder surgery. Everyone she’s seen tells her they can’t find anything wrong with her. Whatever is going on is neurological but no one can seem to put their finger on what is causing her symptoms. She got her 3rd neuro opinion from a physician at Duke a couple of weeks ago. He’s given us more hope than anyone else. She goes for a sleep-deprived EEG on Thursday. Her test is at 10:00 AM and she has been told she cannot sleep past 12:00 PM on Wednesday. That means she has to stay awake for 22 hours. I can’t imagine even trying that. Of course, I’m sleep-deprived all the time. What with sugar checks and belly pain I’m lucky to get 5 hours of sleep per night. Luckily, Holden is on spring break this week. He has volunteered to stay with Mom Wednesday night and help keep her awake by playing games with her and stuff.
● Michael and I are trying to save up a down payment so we can build a house. At first, we were talking about buying a house, but we changed our minds about that. We’d rather have something we built together. We have found some land we’re interested in, but are trying to save up enough money to make a down payment on the land and house at the same time. I’m just hoping the land isn’t sold before we can get it. But, if it is, it is and we’ll have to find something else. Saving up a down payment wouldn’t be as hard if Riley wasn’t in private school. I’ve said before that the local public school system here leaves much to be desired. Holden went to private school and Riley is still there. Unless some drastic changes are made to our school system he will be there until he graduates. So, in addition to saving up for the down payment we are also saving up for a tuition payment.
● My wedding anniversary is on March 11th. We will have been married for 10 years. I really do love Michael more now than when we got married. We’ve been through a lot together the past 10 years, the toughest being Riley’s diagnosis. Somehow we always make it through. I love him very much and I am very blessed to have found him. We don’t really have plans to do anything special. We had talked about going away for a couple of days, but had to nix that plan due to a) my mom’s health b) trying to save money for a down payment and c) not wanting to take any more time off of work because I’m already taking time for my surgery. Like I said Holden will be home this week, so I’m sure we’ll go out Friday and eat and go to a movie of something while Holden watches Riley for us. It’s not important what we do, what’s important is that we made it this far and we’re more in love than ever. It’s nice to know I can trust him and that he will always be there for me. Knowing that whatever I go through I don’t have to do it alone is a big comfort to me.
Geez, I guess that’s enough for one day. I really don’t need to go so long without posting anymore. I will try to post again soon, but I’m not making any promises. I’m going to be busy cleaning house and pre-preparing meals…