I'm angry at diabetes right now. I'm so angry at this stupid disease that makes my child say,"Mom, I hate diabetes. I just want to be normal like everyone else."
I'm angry at the A1C machine that flashed a 7.8 up on the screen at Riley's appointment yesterday.
I'm angry at my cell phone when it rings and the word "Teacher" appears on the screen. That is never a good thing.
I'm angry that when she called it was to tell me that Riley's sugar was 404.
I'm angry that I never get a night of uninterrupted sleep.
I'm angry that Riley's assistant teacher didn't call me last week when they had a birthday party. Instead of letting him have a cupcake(his sugar was 108). She packed it in his book bag for later. He sat and watched everyone else in class eat their cupcake.
I'm angry that my child has to be singled out for anything.
I'm angry that I don't have diabetes instead of Riley.
I'm angry at trying so hard to get it right only to see numbers of 200 and 300.
Mostly, I'm angry with myself for letting any of this make me angry.
Most days I'm fine. Most days I go with the flow. But, today, I'm angry. I don't want to be angry. But, diabetes has a way of making me feel things I don't want to feel.