Wednesday, December 09, 2009

What if....

The sleepover that I posted about earlier is Friday. While Riley will not be spending the night, he will be attending by himself.

Riley has never been on his own at a birthday party before. I always attend parties. This same boy had a party last year and Michael and I were the only parents who stayed. I tried to blend in, but somehow don't think anyone thought I was really a 7 year old boy.

Like a drug dealer I would pull Riley over to the side. There were a few whispers and a black bag and discussions of being high. Then, I'd deliver the drug and he'd run off to play some more.

Riley has gotten to the age that he really wants to go on his own. And, I'm OK with that. Or, at least I'm trying to convince myself that I'm OK with it.

Riley checks his own sugars and gives his own insulin every day at school. I know he knows what to do. I know he'll be OK. Plus, I've given the mom a heads up about what needs to be done. Riley is going to take a cell phone with him. He will call me at every sugar check and every time he eats. I will count carbs over the phone the best I can and pray for the best. My biggest fear is lows. I don't mind if he runs high as much as if he has lows while there.

As I write this he has fallen asleep on the couch. This after a pretty brutal low that struck with over 2 units of insulin on board. I decreased his basal and he got a snack and a juice, but it still kicked his butt. I just decreased his basal a little more. I will sit and wait for the impending high.

What if this happens at the party? I don't know. I'll deal with it the best way I know how. And, I've learned over time you just can you live your life for the what ifs.

Even though I've learned not to live according to the what ifs, they still scare the hell out of me.

7 comments:

:) Tracie said...

Those lows bite!

Friday will go well. You may have to call and check in, just in case he gets side tracked with all the fun.

This post "crack"ed me up!

Meri said...

I've gone through many parties with worry and apprehension on my end. But it ALWAYS works out...and I'm not afraid to call if I don't hear from him for awhile. Plus, I always send him off with the "this is a test, show me how responsible you are and you will be able to do things like this more often" lecture. He'll do great!

Lora said...

He will do great mom... However, I like Meri's "this is a test" talk. You could really live that one up since he wants a little more "freedom".

Kelly said...

Ohhhhh...the what if's can drive us bonkers cant they? Can Rileys also take a cell phone picture of what he's eating? That was a tip from our Endo when I complained about birthday parties :)

MaRia said...

Hi! I came across your 10/29/09 post a while back and meant to comment there. (I am not a D-mom, but I grew up with two T1 younger siblings...started reading Joanne's blog...) Anyway, just wanted to tell you how inspirational that post was...to read about how your thoughts have changed over the 3 years. Don't know that I would have that strength. I guess you just do what you have to do. I think you should put a big ol' button or link on the top of your blog along the lines of THERE"S HOPE! and you click to that entry. That's what I liked so much about your entry. Because I can ONLY imagine how HOPELESS one must feel at the diagnosis....and you show the light at the end of the long tunnel.
Peace to you!
Maria

MaRia said...

PS
Good luck at the party....I still remember with my little sister especially how how all those events were. She hated having my mom have to come in the a.m. so that she could eat breakfast. Then when she reached the age to do it all herself, I know how much my mom worried. And now that she is 28 and living on her own in an apt...
My heart breaks for your little guy to have to worry about this all....Hope that everything goes smoothly....

Sharon said...

Hi,

7.9% of the United States population is suffering from a form of Diabetes. That is over 23 million people! Now, more than ever, it is important for organizations such as yourself. We here, at Disease.com (a site dedicated towards disease and their treatments), believe in the work you do and would like to coincide for the fight against diabetes. If you could, please list us as a resource or host our social book mark button, it would be much appreciated. Separately, we can make advancements, but together we can find a cure.
If you need more information please email me back with the subject line as your URL.

Thank You,
Sharon Vegoe
Disease.com