I Need a Bigger Bag

When I last wrote Riley had been to the ER because he was having trouble breathing. He got better for a few days and then one Friday as I was pulling into the parking lot at work Holden called and said that Riley was wheezing. I ran in the office, told them I wouldn’t be at work the rest of the day, and drove home. I could hear him wheezing a little, but he wasn’t really having a lot of trouble breathing.

I gave him his rescue inhaler and called the doctor. They wanted to see him. Once there they didn’t hear any wheezing and once again chalked it up to “just one of those things”.

That was almost 2 weeks ago. He hasn’t had any problems breathing since then. Still, I send his inhaler to school every day. I pack it in with his diabetes supplies everywhere we go. I worry that we may one day have to use it again.

I'll just add it to the bag.

I’m starting to get into a groove at my new job. In an earlier post I wrote about a student at my school with diabetes whose mom attended school with her every day. Since then I’ve worked with the mom and the teachers so that the mom was comfortable enough going home. Now, the student comes to my office to receive her insulin. This mom has attended school with her daughter for the last 5 years. I can only imagine how freeing it is for her to be able to go home every day instead of being stuck in a classroom.

Still, I often feel like I’m pulled in too many different directions. I’m so new to being a school nurse that I’m afraid I’m missing something important. Sometimes I’ll have 3 or 4 kids in my office at one time and I’m overwhelmed with how to handle it all.

I'll just add it to the bag.

My dad has started chemo and radiation for his throat cancer. The radiation is giving him a sore throat. The chemo is making him sick. My parents are driving back and forth to radiation every day (2 ½ hours in the car). I can tell it’s starting to wear on them. I worry about them both.

I'll just add it to the bag.

Holden sent in his first college application last night. We’re looking into touring a few college campuses. He’s taking the SAT again on Saturday. I’m excited for him as he starts to test the waters. But, sometimes I’ll steal a glance at him while he’s sitting and watching TV and I want to burst into tears. I can’t believe that next year at this time my baby will be away at college. I can’t even fathom how much I will miss him.

I'll just add it to the bag.

I think I need a bigger bag.