Driving into work this morning I was listening to a local radio station that has a segment called the Friday Morning Weekend Blast-Off. They play songs from any genre of music that is requested by their listeners. Most of the songs are usually older songs.
As I turned down the road my school is on I heard the familiar beat of "Mambo No. 5". Songs have a way of evoking memories, for me at least. That particular song brought back memories of Holden playing baseball in his younger days. He was 7 years old when that song became popular. While I'm not a fan of the song, I have memories of it and a New York Yankee version being played in between innings of Holden's baseball games.
These are happy memories for me, but I began to blink back tears. I started thinking of how that was 9 years ago and yet it seems like yesterday. Just yesterday my boy was playing little league baseball and now, he's going to be going away to college in less than a year. Much like diabetes is always somewhere in my mind, so is the thought of Holden graduating and going off to college.
His senior year is flying by with a speed that has given me whip lash. It's already the middle of November. I feel like time is flying by and no matter how hard I try to reach out a grasp the reigns to put on the brakes a bit, they slip through my hands. I want to slow it all down and give myself time to enjoy every moment, to make every moment last longer.
Holden's first basketball game of the season is tonight. I have lived for basketball season since Holden was in the 7th grade. While this time of the year is hectic, I love every minute of it. I played basketball in junior high and high school. I loved playing it then and I love watching my son play it now.
I have been looking forward to this game all week. It's a little crazy how excited I was about it. Last night, Holden came in after practice and laid his basketball uniforms across the rocking chair. He sat his basketball shoes down in the floor and went in the kitchen to get a drink. I looked at the uniform and the shoes and suddenly my excitement turned to sadness.
I guess it hit me that this is the beginning of the end.
As I approached my school this morning another song came over the airways. The familiar opening guitar riff from Ozzy Osbourne's "Crazy Train" filled my car. I was flooded by memories of Holden's basketball team warming up to that song before games. And, I started to cry, honest to goodness tears.
As I was crying I was thinking of how stupid it made me feel. For goodness sakes, there are much worse things in the world than my son going away to college. But, at the moment, I couldn't really think of one.
I knew Holden's senior year was going to be hard, but I had no idea how hard. I now know I'm in for a rough ride.
When Ozzy Osbourne makes you cry you know you have problems.