Monday, November 21, 2005

Rainy day

What is it about a rainy day that seems to make your brain numb? It has rained here ALL DAY. It seems to fit my mood, though. Riley has been doing well lately. His sugars have pretty much been in range the last few days, except for last night it went up to 348. (Dr. wants between 80-225) . I just can't understand what makes it shoot up sometimes. We covered what he ate for supper with insulin, but yet it shot up. (He got 2 shots at the same time. I gave one in one arm while Michael gave one in the other. It's time like those that make me realize how unfair life is for Riley sometimes.) Then, we had to give him more insulin to bring his sugar down, and it was 80 at 10 PM. Well, that's in range, you might say to yourself, but his sugar needs to be at least 130-140 to go to bed. If not, his sugars tend to drop during the night into the 40s and 50s. Some kids have seizures when their sugars get that low. Luckily, Riley hasn't done that. Now, do you see why I haven't slept at night in the last six weeks? I get up quite a lot to check on Riley. I sometimes just nudge him to see if he'll move. My husband gets up and checks his sugars too, but I can't sleep through it. Anyway, just trying to live it one day at a time. Counting down the days until his first Dr's appointment. ( 11 more to go) In some ways I'm excited but I'm also dreading it. I know they're going to draw his blood. And I know that they are going to scrutinize everything that we've done over the last 2 months. I am also very interested in getting him on the insulin pump. The Dr. that he sees likes to wait a year before putting a kid on the pump. I am going to try my best to convince him to change his mind. I have research articles to take to the appointment and everything. I'm not looking forward to that part. I know from being a nurse that some Dr's are very good as dismissing you and your feelings. I haven't been around Dr. Harris enough to know how he'll be. I really liked him in the hospital. If he won't change his mind, I don't know what I'll do. The next closest Dr. is about 2 hours away. I'd rather have a Dr. closer to home in case anything bad ever happens. I just pray that God will get the Dr. to change his mind, or lead me to know what to do if he doesn't. I also pray that Riley will do well and the blood draw won't hurt too badly. They will draw a 3 month average of how Riley's sugars have been. I'm nervous about that too. I'm afraid it might be really bad.
On a brighter note, Saturday was my birthday. It was really nice. We went and had a nice supper at my mom's. She even made my favorite cake, pineapple. Riley was even able to eat a small piece and it didn't run his sugar up. I had to choke back tears while he ate it. Only another parent of a diabetic child would understand why. I knew it would probably really effect his sugar and I also knew I had to let him eat normally sometimes. It was actually painful to watch him eat it. He enjoyed it very much, though, and like I said, it didn't bother his sugar. Well, that's one thing about diabetes. There are no absolutes. If I let him eat the same amount of cake, it might make his sugar sky high. Diabetes always leaves you guessing.

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