" Not everything that counts can be counted. Not everything that can be counted counts."
Friday, November 30, 2007
Love Does Not Conquer All
My mind was on bubbles and priming. That's when he hit me with one of those questions from out of the blue.
"Mama, how did I get diabetes?"
"What do you mean?"
"You know, how did I get it?"
I explained it to him as I put his pump in his pocket and tucked the tubing into his waistband.
"Well, you got a virus and that virus killed the cells in your pancreas that make insulin. That is why you have to take insulin. It doesn't happen to everyone who gets a virus, just some people."
I looked at my son. His head was hung down and his lips where poked out.
"Why do you ask? Does having diabetes ever make you sad?"
"No." He looked up at me with his big brown eyes and said, "I just wish I could be normal like everyone else."
"What do you mean? You are normal."
"No I'm not. I have to take insulin and wear a pump and that's not normal."
I bit my lips as the tears stung my eyes and threatened to spill out. I took a few deep breaths and gathered him up into my arms.
He sat on my lap with with his pajama bottoms on. He lay his damp head on my shoulder.
"I'm not normal. I'm not normal."
"Yes you are."
"No, I'm not. I'm not normal."
"Riley you are normal. Just because you take medicine doesn't mean you're not normal."
"Is there anything the other kids in your class get to do that you don't?"
"Then why are you not normal?"
"I don't know, I'm just not."
"Does anyone ever make fun of you because you have diabetes?"
I held my breath afraid of what the answer might be.
"You know why? Because they know you're just like them."
He looked deep in thought.
"Mama, do I have to go to bed right now? Can I lay in your lap for a little bit?"
"Yes, for a few minutes."
He got his Winnie the Pooh blanket that he used to have in his crib when he was a little baby. He wrapped up and lay his head in my lap.
I let him lie there for a while while I stoked his hair. My heart ached with love for him and I once again held back the tears that where stinging my eyes.
After a while I tucked him into bed. After his prayers he reached out and gave me a big bear hug, a little bit stronger than most nights, then he gave me a big kiss and another tight squeeze.
"I love you, Mom."
"I love you too baby bear."
I really wish love did conquer all.
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Here’s one more. (taken from Beth’s blog)
1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?
2. What is your greatest fear?
4. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
I guess it’s not something I do, but rather something I don’t do. I feel like I’m not assertive enough sometimes.
8. What do you dislike most about your appearance?
9. What is your greatest regret?
10. What or who is the greatest love of your life?
12. What is your current state of mind?
13. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
14. What do you consider your greatest achievement?
15. If you were to die and come back as a person or thing, what do you think it would be?
16. What is your most treasured possession?
17. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
18. Where would you like to live?
19. What is your most marked characteristic?
20. Who are your favorite writers?
21. Who is your favorite hero of fiction?
22. Who are your heroes in real life?
23. What is it that you most dislike?
24. What is your motto?
25. Favorite Journey?
26. What do you value most in your friends?
I say “OK” a lot too, but in a sarcastic way. Like if Michael says, “My left great toe is itchy.” I’ll say, “OK” as if to say, “That was something I really didn’t need to know.”
28. Which historical figure do you most identify with?
30. If you could change one thing about your family, what would it be?
31. What is your favorite occupation?
32. What is the quality you most like in a woman?
33. What is the quality you most like in a man?
34. How would you like to die?
35. If you could chose what to come back as, what would it be?
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
First game of the year
He is so excited that he actually slept in his basketball uniform last night. He says if they win tonight he's going to do that every time they have a game.
So, I'm off to the game. He's practiced the last two nights and his back has done OK. But, tonight will be the true test. He'll get pushed around a lot more tonight than he does in practice.
I hope everyone has a great rest of the day and night.
(2 more posts to go and NaBloPoMo will be over. Yay!!!)
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Because It Is NaBloPoMo I Must Meme
1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
Yes, my great, great grandmother on my mom's side. Her name was Mary Penny. My great-grandmother wanted one of us named Penny. It turned out to be me.
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
The last time I really boo-hooed was on November 8th. It happened at work and I HATE to cry in front on people. I won't go into details, but I got screwed over for some money. I was more mad than anything and that's what caused me to cry.
3. Do you like your handwriting?
It's OK. A lot of people tell me that I have nice handwriting, but I don't find it to be anything special.
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
Yes, two boys: Holden (16) and Riley (5). Three, if you count my husband, Michael (26)
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
I'm really not sure. I don't make friends easily. I'm not a very social person. Some people may think I'm stand-offish. But, if you do become my friend I am fiercely loyal. So, I guess the answer is I would be friends with me if I took the time to really get to know me.
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?
Could their be a dumber question?
8. Do you still have your tonsils?
The only way I would bungee jump is at gunpoint or if I had to do it to cure diabetes.
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
Most of the time. I hate having to untie them in the morning. (I'm not a morning person.)
12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
Physically, not at all. Emotionally, I have my moments.
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
Breyer's Mocha Almond Fudge but I don't think they make it anymore:(
14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
15. RED OR PINK?
Red. I don't like the color pink. I don't own anything pink.
16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
Probably my poochy belly. I keep thinking I'm going to do something about it, but as of yet I have not.
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST
My Pop Pop. He died 14 years ago.
18 WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
Ceil blue nursing pants, New Balance tennis shoes that are white, gray, and blue.
20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
A peanut butter and jelly sandwich for supper last night. I had a cup of coffee this morning which is my usual breakfast.
21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
The sound of the computer keys clicking as I type.
22. IF YOU WHERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
23. FAVORITE SMELLS?
24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
A patient, Mr. J. I called to see what supplies I needed so I can take them with me when I see him later today.
25 FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
Basketball. I particularly like to watch Holden play and Duke University. I also like to watch the Charlotte Bobcats play, but they hardly ever show their games on TV.
26 HAIR COLOR?
27 EYE COLOR?
28 Do you wear contacts?
Yes, for the last 18 years. I have never worn glasses, only contacts.
Ribeye steak and baked potato
30 SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
I love scary movies. Happy endings are OK too, but they always seem kind of cheesy. Unlike the serial killer that is indestructible and the heads that roll off and onto the ground with a look of shock still on their face. That it totally life-like and not cheesy at all :-)
31. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
National Lampoons Christmas Vacation. Next to It's A Wonderful Life, it is my favorite Christmas movie.
32 WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
Ceil blue nursing shirt. I'm also wearing a nursing jacket that is blue with teddy bears and Christmas trees on it.
33. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Summer, I detest cold weather. I wouldn't do well in Alaska or Antartica or Wisconsin for that matter.
34. HUGS OR KISSES?
If I have to do either I pick a hug. I am not a touchy-feely person. I don't even like to shake hands.
35. FAVORITE DESSERT?
Pineapple cake, particularly my mom's
36.What book are you reading now?
"Where Have All the Leaders Gone?" by Lee Iacocca. It's a really good book.
37. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
At home I don't have one. At work it has an advertisement on it for a local home care agency.
38. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT?
Heros. I don't really like it, but Michael does. It was on because he was watching it and I was too lazy to do anything else so I watched it too. You know, they saved the cheerleader, yet they still haven't saved the world. What's that about?
39. FAVORITE SOUND?
Holden's car pulling safely into the driveway (usually I hear the music blaring first)
40. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
Beatles. I do not like the Rolling Stones. I know, I know, I take a lot of heat for that. I've just never liked them.
41. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
New Orleans, Louisiana. I went to Mardi Gra. I do not care to ever go back.
42. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
I can play the piano, but not very well. I'm also pretty darn good at guessing at carb counts. That comes in handy as a mom of a child with diabetes.
If any of you do decide to play along let me know so I can read your answers too.
(There are actually 41 questions because I didn't number correctly. But, I'm too lazy to fix it so I'm leaving it that way.)
Monday, November 26, 2007
Hit Me With Your Best Shot
Still, every once in a while, when I'm least expecting it, one of those punches lands squarely on my jaw and I feel the sting as tears well up in my eyes.
I was sitting at my desk this morning, when I saw this picture out of the corner of my eye.
These were taken when Riley was one year old. I looked at his bright smile (the boy smiled constantly in those days) and his chubby little legs and instead of nostalgia, I felt sadness.
Sometimes I look at pictures of Riley before he had diabetes and I can't help but feel a loss all over again. I love my Riley with diabetes fiercely. But, I can't help but think of what it would be like to love a Riley without diabetes.
This morning when I looked at his picture I started trying to imagine what life would be like now if Riley had never gotten diabetes. But, I can't fathom what life would be like without pricking my son with needles and praying for a cure, both of which I do several times a day.
Would I be happier? Would he be happier? Would I appreciate life as much as I do now? Would he be as generous and loving as he is now? Would Michael and I be as close as we are now? Has it hindered Holden's life in any way?
Most of the time I can dodge and weave and every once in a while diabetes lands a glancing blow. But, sometimes, like today, it hits with a force that momentarily knocks the breath out of me.
But, just like many other days, I shake my head, rub my jaw, and wipe the tears from my eyes. Diabetes may not fight fair, but it still won't beat me. It won't beat my son.
I won't let it.
Sunday, November 25, 2007
35 Days of Pictures
(To read the description that goes along with the picture go to my diabetes 365 page. )
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Some Blog Things
|You Are 72% Good|
You are a good person. You do the best you can to be ethical, fair, and moral.
And as you know, being a good person means making hard decisions... and following them through.
If you're confronted with an ethical dilemma, you will usually do the right thing.
Of course you do slip up. No one's perfect. But you do your best to correct your missteps.
You are also probably: incredibly honest, especially with yourself
Right now you are on track to being: A respected leader
To be a better person: Be kind to someone who is not very kind to you
|You Are 63% Tortured Genius|
You are smart. Brilliant in fact. And while it's a blessing, it's also a curse.
Your head is filled with everything - grand ideas, insufferable worries, and a good deal of angst.
|You Are 35% Selfish|
In general, you are a very giving person who treats others very well.
But at times, you insist on getting your way - when it matters most to you.
Have a nice weekend!!
Friday, November 23, 2007
On the Agenda for Today
We're doing it to celebrate my birthday, a little late. About the only times we go out alone during the year is for our birthdays and for our anniversary. We were going to do it last Friday, but Holden had a basketball game. (Speaking of Holden, his back is doing well and hasn't hurt him for a while now. He'll start back with basketball practice on Monday, so keep your fingers crossed that his back will continue to do OK.)
Anyway, I will be getting a new cell phone for my birthday. The hinge on my cell phone broke and now it won't stay open, so I need a new one. I don't plan on getting anything special. I don't care what features it has as long as Riley's teacher and Holden can reach me when they need me.
We will also go out to eat, probably at Outback since it's my favorite. Or, I might go somewhere else to save a little money.
And, since we're ending up having to go out in the traffic on Black Friday, we will probably brave at least one store. Riley wants a Fur Real Parrot for Christmas and they are on sale at Walmart today about $12 cheaper than usual. When you're on a budget, $12 is enough of a savings to push through the crowd.
And, yesterday was awesome, by the way. We went to my grandmother's and had a great meal and spent time with the family. We were there pretty much all day. And, the best thing was that Riley's sugars cooperated. They were excellent all day (except for a 45 after a hike in the woods).
I hope every one's Thanksgiving was as great as ours.
Thursday, November 22, 2007
So, instead of listing everything, I decided to share this song instead.
I hope you enjoy and I hope all of you have a safe and happy thanksgiving.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Late to the Tag
I've been tagged by Shannon, Donna, and Bernard.
I will not be tagging anyone else because I think the entire OC has been tagged already.
#1 I don't own my house. We rent. I've never owned a house. I've always rented. My biggest dream right now is to own a house.
#2 I am a fan of Eminem. I am not a fan of cursing. I am also not a fan of rap. So, that is why it is weird that I like Eminem.
#3 Both of my children go to a private school. That may lead someone to think we have money. It is exactly the opposite, my friend. The payment to school is our biggest monthly payment, by far. Education is very important to us, so we sacrifice other things, so the kids can get good educations. Sometimes it sucks. (Refer to #1)
#4 I am a nurse. I have been bled on, peed on, pooped on, cursed at, bit and spat upon by patients. I have smelled things that no human nose should smell. I have cleaned up things that some may think require a HAZMAT team. And, I can handle it all. I cannot, however, clean false teeth. It makes me nauseous. When I used to work at the hospital if I had a patient that needed their dentures removed and cleaned I would bargain with the nurse's aides. I would change all of the adult diapers if they would take care of my patient's dentures. (I also have an aversion to cutting toenails. Feet give me the heebies jeebies. Not my own feet, just other people's feet.)
#5 I am the statistician for the high school basketball team. I love it. I keep up with assists, turnovers, steals, offensive rebounds, defensive rebounds, and blocked shots for all the players.
#6 I once stayed awake for 39 hours straight. I was working night shifts at the hospital and Holden had a field trip the next day. So I went into work at 7 PM one night and when I got off the next morning I went on the field trip with Holden. Then, I went back into work again that night at 7 and didn't get off until 7 the next morning. I'm lucky if I can stay awake for 14 hours at a time now.
#7 I am totally creeped out by dead bodies. OK, I guess that's not weird. Let my clarify. I'm OK with dead bodies, I just don't like them after they've been cleaned up and embalmed. Because I am a nurse I've seen plenty of dead bodies and I've been in a room alone with plenty dead bodies. People who have just died do not bother me. But, once they've been embalmed and have on nice clothes and makeup it totally freaks me out. I cannot stand to be in the same room with a dead body in a coffin. But, a dead body in a hospital bed doesn't bother me at all.
(Sorry, there seems to be a nursing theme to this meme.)
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Walk of Hope 2007 Video
The song playing in the background is "He's My Son" by Mark Schultz.
Monday, November 19, 2007
2 Year Blogaversary
I've shared stormy times, as well as times of calm. I've shared times when I was sitting on the box and times when that box had spilled and I knew I'd have to pick everything up and stuff it back in because I had to. I've shared family moments and some personal information about me.
These last two years have been tumultuous to say the least. I had no idea two years ago that starting this blog would lead me to meet some of the best people in the world.
Thank all of you for sharing your stories and for listening to mine.
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Riley had his last soccer game on October 28. The very next day, Holden's basketball practice started. That's how it usually is around here, we just move from one sport to the next.
Holden has a degenerative disk in his back. Usually he does just fine with it. But, sometimes it flares up and causes him quite a bit of pain.
Starting basketball caused it to flair up. So, he only practiced the first few days of practice. Then, he took a week off. When he went back it hurt the worst it has ever hurt.
So, we went to the doctor the next day. He told him to rest it and take 800 mg Ibuprofen twice a day. He also gave him strict orders not to work or play basketball at least a week and maybe more.
Holden works at a local grocery store, so he had to take a few days off of work. He has sat out a week at basketball practice. What has bothered him most is that he also missed the first game of the season. You see, Holden LOVES basketball and it was all he could do sit on the bench and not jump out onto the court to help out him team.
He went back to work this weekend and so far, so good. But, we've decided he will sit out the next game on Tuesday too, just to be safe. Their next game after that is on November 29, so he'll have plenty of time to rest his back. He has an appointment with a back specialist on December 6. His biggest fear right now is that he will have to stop playing basketball.
Michael is the assistant coach for Holden's team and he loves that just as much as Holden enjoys playing.
Riley is still thoroughly enjoying school. I am amazed every day at the things he is learning.
Me, I'm in the midst of deciding if I want to stay at my job or move on to something else. There is a story behind it, but I really don't feel like going into it.
And, I'm turning 34 tomorrow.
Well, got to go take some pies out of the oven. We are having a thanksgiving supper and service at church tonight and it's almost time to go. Riley is going to sing at the service. It will probably make me cry. (big surprise)
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Some More Diabetes 365 Pictures
Friday, November 16, 2007
What to say, what to say
But, there are not going to be an DOC awards this year. (See Allison's post for an explanation.)
So, now I have to come up with something else to say.
Well, that went well.
Thursday, November 15, 2007
I had just gotten used to sending him to school.....
Yesterday was the field trip day. Riley had been talking about it for days. They were going to see a play a few towns over. He didn't care about the play. What he cared about was how they were getting to the play. They were just taking a school bus, but to a kid who has never been on one, it seemed very exciting.
"Hey mom, school buses don't have seat belts, you know." He's said that a few times over the last few days with a devilish grin on his face.
Right after I got the note I spoke with his teacher to see if she was comfortable taking Riley on the field trip. She was fine with it.
The day before the trip I sent a note to school letting her know that Riley would still need to eat morning snack even though the other kids were not. I told her I would pack a bag for her to take with her with all the essentials in it. You know, juice, fruit snacks, meter, glucagon, the normal fare for most 5 year olds.
When I tucked Riley into bed Tuesday night, Riley looked up at me and smiled, "My field trip is tomorrow!!!" He went to sleep with a grin on his face.
Riley got up at 1:41 AM to use the rest room. While he was up Michael checked his sugar. It was 175. That's about where I like it to be at that time of night.
2 hours and 27 minutes later we were up again to check, just in case. His sugar was 53. Michael woke him up and he drank a juice box in a sleepy haze.
I set the clock to get up again in 20 minutes, but I never got to sleep.
20 minutes later I heard the meter beep and Michael said, "It's 51."
What?!? It went down?
Even though I hadn't gone back to sleep Riley had. He had to be awakened again and this time he dined on fruit snacks.
Twenty minutes later the next sugar check showed a much nicer number, 108.
But, I still couldn't sleep. I knew that all the carbs he had meant he'd run high later. And all I could think about was how rebound sugars were going to ruin his field trip.
His breakfast sugar was 201, about what I expected. He had the same breakfast he has every morning. I gave him a bolus, reminded Holden 500 times how important it was to give Riley's "diabetes bag" to the teacher, and sent him out the door to school with a prayer on my lips.
He would be off away from me. What if something bad happened? What if his site came out? What if....
I was at work when my cell phone rang at 9:15 AM.
"Hi, Penny, this is P. You're never going to let Riley go on another field trip again."
I couldn't control the panic in my voice when I nearly shouted, "Why?" into the phone.
"Well, it's not even his normal snack time, but his sugar is 42."
It took a while for the number to register. 42. That's the lowest he's ever been at school. And, this low wasn't actually at school it was in the middle of a theater around hundreds of other kids.
"I gave him a juice box and he's eating his granola bar. What do you want me to do about his insulin?"
"Don't give him any", I said.
"No, don't give him any insulin. And, please, remember to check his sugar in 15 minutes and make sure he's come up. He had a low in the middle of the night that didn't want to come up."
"I'll be sure to check."
I tidied up some things on my desk and got some supplies together for a patient. As I was getting ready to walk out the door, my cell phone vibrated in my pocket.
"Hi, Penny, this is P. I just wanted to let you know Riley's sugar has come up to 103. And, I wanted to let you know that I've got him sitting right beside me."
"Thank you, so much for calling and letting me know. I was worried about it."
"I know you were."
I barley hung up the phone before the tears welled up in my eyes. If I could teleport myself, I would have been in that theater right then and my baby would have been in my lap. But, I can't so just had to trust that everything would be alright.
They were back at school by lunchtime. My phone rang again at 11:53.
"Hi, Penny, it's P. We're back!!!" I could hear the relief in her voice.
I figured she was calling now because Riley was high. He did get 32 grams of uncovered carbs.
"Riley's sugar is 75. I gave him a couple of fruit snacks and he's eating his lunch."
"75? Are you sure? "
"I've put everything in the pump and it says to give him 1.15. "
"Um, let's give him .9 since he's been running on the low side."
The rest of the day was punctuated by more lows.
At 4:13PM it was 49. Once again he got a snack with no insulin.
5:48, he was 188. I only covered the carbs for supper. I didn't correct the sugar.
At bedtime snack, he was 78.
He ran high most of the night, but woke up this morning with a sugar of 122.
When I went to bed last night, I was feeling a little defeated. I was thinking that while WDD was a nice day for diabetes, it was not a nice day for diabetes in my house.
As we passed in the hall, Holden asked how Riley's sugars did on the trip. I told him he went down to 42.
"Oh, that sucks. But, did he have fun?"
"Yeah, he enjoyed himself. He loved the bus ride and he liked the play too."
"Well, Mom, you know that's all that really matters."
How come my kids are smarter than me?
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
World Diabetes Day, 2007
I am so excited that this day has come to fruition and is as big as it is. I just want to hug whoever came up with the idea. Having this day set aside to promote diabetes awareness is a huge step towards making life better for those who are diagnosed with diabetes.
I have other things on my mind today too. But, that will have to wait for a later post.
I found this video on the World Diabetes Day website. It is the London Eye. I cried when I saw it. Just thinking of all the people all over the world that have banded together for this day is overwhelming.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
A Gift in the Mail and an Important Survey
It's a signed copy of Mr. Iacocca's latest book. It was sent to show appreciation for Walk of Hope I held in October to raise money for The Iacocca Foundation.
I have read several pages and have found that Mr. Iacocca is quite outspoken about what he thinks. I like that.
I have a special place in my heart for The Iacocca Foundation. I believe Mr. Iacocca is truly working to find a cure for the disease that killed his wife (at the young age of 57, I might add) The money donated to IF goes directly to research to find a cure for Type 1 diabetes. It doesn't go to other avenues, only research for a cure. I like that too.
What I've read of the book so far is pretty good. It is certainly thought-provoking. If you get a chance you should pick up a copy for yourself.
Amy over at Diabetes Mine made me aware of a survey that you guys may be interested in.
It is a survey about diabetes technology. This comes directly from Amy's blog:
"The information gathered will be compiled and sent to insurance companies and government bodies in the form of an ad hoc research report. As Kelly notes, "Our hope is that a groundswell of support for diabetes technology will just be one more sign to the policymakers in Washington, DC, that they shouldn't try to be cheap with patients with diabetes. We have all seen the warning signals."
I can't get the badge to work , so click here to take the survey.
Monday, November 12, 2007
Word in Your Hand Video
Look closely. I think you might see a few familiar faces (or hands).
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Here's what he picked:
But, it doesn't come in the right size print.
So, he's getting this one instead.
Saturday, November 10, 2007
When we arrived there were pictures placed on the table to color. Beside the pictures was a snack of mini Ritz cheese crackers. This wasn't too big of a deal considering it was Riley's snack time anyway. I checked his sugar and he looked up at me and said, "Mom, can you count out some for me?"
You see, he knew that I needed to know how many he ate so I could count the carbs. So, I counted out a few for him and gave him a bolus.
The place they were learning about is called Moldova. So, they learned that in Moldova kids eat egg sandwiches for snack. So, they got to sample one. It wasn't that big of a deal because they only gave him 1/4 of 1 piece of bread (or about 2.5 g) with some egg on it.
Then, they played a game. Then they went to a pretend farmer's market to learn about the food they eat in Moldova. There they sampled carrots, apples, sunflower seeds, and walnuts. I stood back and watched to see exactly how much of everything Riley ate.
Last, they gave the kids grape juice and asked them to taste of honey. Since Riley's sugar had been on the high side when I checked it earlier, I leaned over and whispered in his ear that I had brought him a juice of his own and it was probably best if he skipped tasting the honey. He just nodded his head and did what I said.
After some crafts and a few more games they moved onto the last thing, making a bank to save money for missions. While they were making the bank the leaders came out with cookies, chocolate, and more juice for all the kids.
I again leaned over to Riley and told him I had a juice for him and told him not to eat the cookies or the chocolate, but to save them to eat with his lunch.
Once again, he just nodded his head and did as he was told. He never complained and he never asked why. Because, he knew why.
And, I was happy and sad all at once.
Sad, because he shouldn't have to worry about carbs and things like that. He should just be able to do what all the other kids are doing without having to ask me to count out how many crackers he can have.
But mostly, I was happy because he doesn't complain about things he can't change. He does what he has to do because he has to.
He is wise beyond his years and braver than I can even pretend to be.
Friday, November 09, 2007
Thursday, November 08, 2007
The Heart of the Matter
All of this has to be done just for Riley to eat a simple snack. But, that is the easy part.
The brain was made to solve problems. It was made to look at situations and decide the best action to take. The brain is usually very matter of fact about things. Hot is hot and cold is cold.
Even in my sleep-deprived state, my brain normally functions pretty well. My synapses may be a little slow some times, but most of the time they are firing on all cylinders. The brain was made to reason.
The problem is, when you are dealing with your child your heart comes into play too. The heart was not made to reason.
My brain knows that when Riley is having a severe low and he is begging for more juice that what he’s had will be sufficient to bring up his sugar. My heart does not understand why I let him beg.
My brain understands why it is necessary to prick Riley’s finger with a needle 10-12 times a day. My heart doesn’t understand why I prey on his delicate flesh.
My brain reasons that it is OK that Riley is crying when I change his set. It knows that by hurting him I am also saving his life. My heart thinks it’s cruel to make him cry.
There is a constant battle going on between my brain and my heart.
And, today, my heart wins.
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
Some More Funny
I promise to write a real post tomorrow.
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
Some more diabetes 365 pictures
If you would like to read the description that goes with the pictures then you'll have to go to my page. Otherwise you can make up your own little story to go with the picture.
Monday, November 05, 2007
It Is a Big Deal
I've said before that I would love to see a sea of gray (Gray, really? That's the color we got? Yep, we've just got to go with it.) in November much like the sea of pink we see in October. I'd like to sit down with whoever is in charge of Breast Cancer Awareness month and pick their brain.
Last November I asked everyone to post the diabetes ribbon in their sidebar. Even if you don't have a blog about diabetes, how about post the ribbon and at least mention it's National Diabetes Month.
So, here's the ribbon. Once again, I'd like you to copy, paste, and post.
Why should you blog about it? Why make a big deal about it?
A lot of people think they are just fine, you deal with it and move on. Some say, diabetes doesn't really affect me. I check my sugar and I give insulin and I move on. It's no big deal.
Problem is, it is a big deal.
** In the U.S., the number of deaths from diabetes is more than 180,000 each year – and climbing.
** In the U.S., the number of hospitalizations for diabetes is about 600,000 each year – and climbing.
** In the U.S., the number of people suffering from diabetes is about 16,000,000 – and climbing.
** Data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention indicate that one in three American children born in the year 2000 will develop diabetes during the course of their lives
That's just in the US people, let's look at the rest of the world.
**Ghana: Over 3.2 Million People Die of Diabetes Every Year; Go read this article and see if you still think it's no big deal.
**A person in Zambia who requires insulin has a life expectancy of 11 years. A person in Mali can expect to live 30 months. In Mozambique a person with Type 1 diabetes will die within one year of diagnosis.
If I lived in Mozambique , Riley would be dead by now. Not only that, but he probably would have suffered long before he died.
I've heard it said that we shouldn't complain. There are much worse diseases, incurable diseases even. I'd like to remind you that diabetes is incurable as well. In places like Mozambique the diagnosis of Type 1 diabetes is just as much a death sentence as a diagnosis of cancer or AIDS.
**Globally, at least one person dies every 10 seconds out of the disease.
**High Blood Sugar a Global Killer; go to this study done by Harvard to learn more.
Here's a few more statistics for you:
** Every 10 seconds a person dies from diabetes-related causes.
** 3.5 million deaths are attributable to diabetes each year.
** Diabetes kills as many people each year as HIV/AIDS
** Type 1 diabetes is growing by 3% each year. It is increasing the fastest among very young children.
** More and more children are developing Type 2 diabetes.
Let's touch on some complications that can develop from this disease, even if you have what is considered "good control", these complications can still happen to you.
**Diabetes is the leading cause of heart attack, stroke, blindness, amputation, and kidney failure.
**Diabetic retinopathy causes 12,000 to 24,000 new cases of blindness each year.
According to Prevent Blindness America (PBA), there are 5.3 million Americans age 18 and older with diabetic retinopathy. Diabetic retinopathy affects the tiny blood vessels of the retina, causing them to break down, leak or become blocked. Unhealthy new blood vessels may also grow, distorting vision over time.
**2 out of every 3 people with diabetes will die from heart disease or stroke.
**4 people's legs are amputated every 3 seconds as a result of diabetic complications.
Yes, it is a very big deal, and it's our job to make people aware.
Please help spread the word. Feel free to use any of the statistics that I have posted here.
Here are some links where the information came from.
(Edit: Allison pointed out that the Unite for Diabetes circle is much cooler than the boring gray ribbon. I agree. So, if you'd rather use the circle, here it is.)
Copy, paste, post.
Sunday, November 04, 2007
How About Some Dessert
It is entitled The Big Book of Diabetic Desserts: Decadent and Delicious Recipes Perfect for People with Diabetes.
I've read through it and find it to be quite useful. I am all for a cookbook that gives you the carb count of the food you're preparing. It sure beats guessing, or trying to add everything up yourself. I also like it because it uses healthier ingredients.
The first recipe I will probably try for myself is Apple Pie with Cinnamon Crunch Topping. (40g carbs per serving)
Below is the description that was sent to me along with a recipe from the book.
FROM CHOCOLATE SOUFFLES TO BLACKBERRY-PECAN TARTS, NEW COOKBOOK OFFERS DOZENS OF SUMPTUOUS DESSERTS THAT ARE LOW IN SUGAR AND FAT
Whatever treat one's sweet tooth craves -- cakes, pies, cookies, puddings --decadent desserts are often the hardest thing to give up when on a diet.Whether someone is watching calories and fat, or is living with diabetes,limiting sweets has long been the rule -- and those who seek to substitute with sugar-free, fat-free versions of their favorite desserts are often sorely disappointed. This no longer need be the case.
THE BIG BOOK OF DIABETIC DESSERTS: Decadent And Delicious Recipes Perfect For People With Diabetes by dietitian and former Redbook food editor Jackie Mills, MS, RD(American Diabetes Association, November 2007) offers dozens of delicious concoctions -- all developed to be lower in carbohydrates, calories, and fat.
From Mocha Fudge Sheet Cake to Banana Meringue Pie and from Cappuccino Crème Brûlée to Crispy Oatmeal-Raisin Cookies, most of the recipes in THE BIG BOOK OF DIABETIC DESSERTS use a combination of granulated sugar, brown sugar,honey, or molasses along with the no-calorie sweetener sucralose (Splenda®).The limited amount of sugar makes the desserts mouth-watering and enjoyable,but with carb counts that enable them to fit into a balanced meal plan. In addition, all the choices in the new book contain less than 1.5 grams of saturated fat per serving and virtually no trans fat.
In THE BIG BOOK OF DIABETIC DESSERTS, Mills explains precisely how sugar functions in baked goods and in frozen treats, and offers tips for indulging one's sweet tooth in healthier ways -- such as brushing molasses, real maple syrup, or honey on the tops of warm muffins, loaf breads, or cakes;sprinkling a tiny bit of ordinary confectioners¹ sugar on a cake or batch of muffins; and using in-season, ripe fruit to accompany desserts, especially in place of high-fat and high-sugar frostings. She also includes advice for making the most of small servings of nuts and chocolate and for using spices to add wonderful flavors and aromas to desserts.
Among the tasty treats included in THE BIG BOOK OF DIABETIC DESSERTS is:
CHOCOLATE-DRIZZLED PEANUT BUTTER CAKE
Makes 9 servings € Serving size: 1 (2 1/2 inch) square For a lunch box, an after school treat, a bake sale, or a coffee break, this cake is a pleasing sweet for peanut butter lovers of all ages.
1 cup all-purpose flour 1 teaspoon baking powder 1/2 teaspoon baking soda 1/8 teaspoon salt 1/4 cup natural peanut butter 3 tablespoons canola oil 1/3 cup granular no-calorie sweetener 1/3 cup light brown sugar 1 large egg 3/4 cup low-fat buttermilk 1 teaspoon vanilla extract 1/2 ounce semisweet chocolate baking bar, chopped
1. Preheat the oven to 350ºF. Coat an 8 x 8-inch baking pan with cooking spray and set aside. 2. Combine the flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt in a medium bowl and whisk to mix well. Set aside.
3. Combine the peanut butter and oil in a medium bowl and beat at medium speed until smooth. Beat in the no-calorie sweetener and brown sugar. Beat in the egg. Add the flour mixture and buttermilk alternately to the peanut butter mixture, beginning and ending with the flour mixture, beating well after each addition. Beat in the vanilla.
4. Spoon the batter into the prepared pan and smooth the top. Bake 20 to25 minutes or until a wooden toothpick inserted in the center of the cake comes out clean. Cool the cake in the pan on a wire rack for 10 minutes.Remove from the pan and cool completely on the rack.
5. Place the chocolate in a small resealable zip-top bag and seal. Place the bag in a saucepan of hot water. Let stand 5 minutes or until the chocolate melts. Snip a tiny corner from bag and drizzle chocolate over the cake.
The cake can be covered in an airtight container and stored at room temperature up to 3 days.
Exchanges 1 1/2 Carbohydrate € 2 Fat Calories 193, Calories from Fat 86, Total Fat 10 g, Saturated Fat 1 g,Cholesterol 24 mg, Sodium 204 mg, Total Carbohydrate 23 g, Dietary Fiber 1g, Sugars 11 g, Protein 5 g
In addition to the dozens of mouth-watering recipes, Mills offers helpful guidelines for better baking -- advising buying the proper pans(shiny-surfaced, heavy-gauge aluminum), using parchment paper, and stocking one¹s kitchen with pastry brushes, offset spatulas, and a cookie scoop. She also offers pointers for creating low-sugar, low-fat desserts, including tips on: how to test for doneness (the same timing and visual cues don't work with low-sugar baking as they do with traditional baking); how to work with a more delicate, low-fat pie crust; and how to store baked goods made with sugar substitutes (they stale faster).³You can and should enjoy desserts without feeling that you're having something second rate or that tastes Œgood for you,¹² writes Mills.
THE BIG BOOK OF DIABETIC DESSERTS offers desserts so satisfying and delicious, they are ideal for anyone craving a sugary indulgence -- whether or not they need to watch their carbohydrates, calories, and fat.
# # #ABOUT THE AUTHOR JACKIE MILLS, MS, RD contributes to many national magazines, including Cooking Light, Family Circle, Cottage Living, and Coastal Living. She was the recipe developer for the American Medical Association Type 2 Diabetes Cookbook and has contributed to Weight Watchers cookbooks and Christmas with Southern Living annual cookbooks. Mills is the former food editor at Redbook magazine and worked as an associate food editor at Southern Living magazine. She lives in New York City.