Some accolades

Holden played his last baseball game last night. It wasn't just the last game of the season, but it was his last game in that league. He has been playing in this rec. league since he was six. But, the league only goes up to age 15, so he won't be able to play there next year. It was a little sad.

I started thinking last night that he will be going off to college in 3 years. It will be here before I know it. He's growing up so fast and I'm trying to cherish every moment between now and then.

I'm so proud to be his mom. He really is a great kid. He has his moments. Sometimes he makes me want to pull my hair out. He is 15 after all. But, mostly he's a good human being.

He's a very good athlete. He's really good at basketball and he's not too shabby at baseball. But, he's never cocky about it. He doesn't throw a fit when the ref or ump makes a bad call against him. I don't know if this happens in your area or not, but it happens here. He doesn't have a "I'm better than you attitude." He's confident about his playing, not cocky, and there is a big difference between the two.

They gave out awards last night. He made the allstar team. So, technically, he still has a few games to play, but it will be off somewhere else. Not in the ballpark in which he's always played. He also received a trophy for "homerun king". He and another boy tied with three home runs for the year. (One of them being a grand slam.)

The boy that he tied with is one of those kids who feels that he's such a better player than everyone else and he makes sure everyone knows it. Several people had come up to me to say they hoped Holden beat him. Now, it didn't really matter to me. I wanted him to do well. But, I'm much more concerned about his attitude. I want him to be a graceful winner as well as a graceful loser. That's what is really the most important. Besides, Holden has been playing ball with the other boy since they were 6. He is a good player and I wanted to see him get his recognition too.

I don't think I'm getting my point across very well. What I'm trying to say is that all those awards don't mean anything. While they are nice and I'm proud of him, it's the fact that he's such a nice kid that makes me the most proud.

During basketball season, we get a lot of comments from parents and coaches from other teams what a great player Holden is. Later, I'll walk by those same people and hear them say, " I don't like to watch so and so play. He just thinks he's so good." Unfortunately, you'll here these same people cheering against these kids. Once again, it comes down to the attitude on the court. It all comes down to being nice.

That's one of my pet peeves. People who are just not nice. I realize everyone has a bad day now and again, and may say or do something that they shouldn't have. Everyone screws up. But, it's the people who are just consistently mean and rude that get under my skin. Why can't people just be nice?

Sorry, I kind of got up on a soap box for a minute there. Back to Holden. I've kind of rambled a bit. He's not just a good athlete. He's also a very bright kid too. He's in the Beta Club. He ended this year with a 3.77 GPA (out of 4.0) And, that's without hardly ever cracking a book. If he would actually study once in a while, he could be a 4.0 student. He says he's going to start focusing on grades a little more next year. He has told me he wants to be a Dr. Now this is not anything I ever thought he'd want to be. When I asked him why, he said, "Because I want to find a cure for diabetes." Then, I asked why he didn't become a researcher instead. "Because I want to take care of people too."

Holden,

I just want you to know how much I love you and how proud I am of the young man that you have become. Know that you will make mistakes along the way, but how you handle those mistakes and what you learn from them is what really matters in the end.

You can be and do anything you want. Just stay down the path you've chosen and everything will be OK. There will be ruts in the road along the way and maybe a detour or two. But, I know that if you keep the attitude that you have now, you'll make it.

I love you and I'm so proud to say that I'm your mom.

Love,
Mama

The Low

I got home a little later than usual last night. A Dr's office called at 4:55 PM to change a patient's insulin dosage. The patient is Type II, but is on insulin. She has all sorts of mental issues and can give herself the insulin, but is not competent enough to draw it up. That's my job. I draw up a week's worth at a time and leave it in the fridge for her. Since she is on nighttime insulin, I made the trek out to her house after hours to fix her insulin.

Anyway, I called Michael and told him that supper would be a little later and asked him to check Riley's sugar in a bit to make sure it wasn't going low. He checked. He wasn't low.

Once I got home, I immediately started on supper. But, when it was about half-way done, the profuse sweating and the shaking started. And, I'm not talking about Riley, I'm talking about me. Michael was talking about something that went on at work (since school is out, he puts in pools and spas during the summer). I was just sitting on the couch and looking at him and trying to grasp what he was saying. I was sweating so much that my shirt was sticking to my back. And, my hands were shaking so badly I couldn't even untie my tennis shoes.

On a whim, I got Riley's machine. My sugar was 60. Now, how did that happen? I did skip lunch yesterday, but that's not unusual for me.

I drank some soda and by the time I got done with supper I was feeling better. But, I was so worn out. I felt like I had run a marathon. I just lay on the couch for a while.

All I kept thinking was, "Is this how Riley feels every time?" I was only 60. He's been much lower than that before. He doesn't usually act tired afterwards. Is that normal or was it just me? I really felt like a limp dish rag.

I guess I just got a taste of what Riley goes through. And, it just breaks my heart.

The results are in

I finally got the results of my MRI yesterday. I have torn cartilage in my wrist. The official name is a TFCC tear. I will be having surgery on June 26th. I'm not quite sure how I managed to tear the cartilage. I didn't do anything to injure it really. It just started hurting one day and instead of getting better it just kept getting worse. Now it's to the point that I can't do very much with it at all. It's been hurting about 6 weeks now.

I will be unable to use my arm at all for about 2 weeks after surgery. I will probably be in a cast that goes from just above the elbow to my fingertips. The good news is that I'm right-handed and the surgery will be on my left wrist. But, all day today I'd do something that required both hands and wonder how I'll do it when I can't use my left hand. I hate to ask other people to do things for me. The first thing I thought of was that I probably won't be able to shave under my arms. Weird, I know, but I don't want to be all furry. Of course, I'd only be furry under one arm. Michael said he'd help me shave if he has to. Ah, my knight in shining armor.

On the diabetes front, things have been very good. I'm almost afraid to write it for fear that I will jinx it or something. He's had a few highs and a few lows, but mostly he's been right on target. For example, his sugars today have been: 155, 128, 85, 167, 80, 118, 173, 143, and 103. Yesterday: 171, 101, 100, 163, 263, 87, 116, 87, 160. See, diabetes just had to throw that 263 in there to remind me who's boss. His sugars have been really good for the last couple of weeks. I don't know if it's because things are finally starting to click with the pump or if he's just honeymooning. But, I plan to enjoy it while it lasts.

He can tell

One of the hard things about having a young child with diabetes is that they often cannot tell when they are low. Whenever Riley has been low, I ask him how he feels so hopefully he will start identifying that feeling with a low sugar. He usually says his "head feels funny" and a few times he's said he's cold.

I had gotten to where every once in a while I'd ask if his head felt funny and reinforce with him that if his head does feel funny that he needs to tell us so we can check his sugar.

I had my MRI on Saturday. Afterwards, we went to lunch. We were sitting at the table waiting for our food. Riley was playing a game that was on the table. All of a sudden he looked at me and said, "I think my sugar is low. My head feels funny." I quickly checked his sugar and it is 59. Low indeed.

I was so happy that he did this. We let him pick out a small toy and told him how proud we were that he told us that he felt low. A couple of days later I asked him, "What happens when you're sugar is low?" Without missing a beat, he looked up at me and grinned when he said "I get a toy?" Ok, maybe the toy wasn't a good idea. I explained to him that the toy was a one time deal and why it's important to tell us when he feels low. And that he needs to have food to bring his sugar up. I was thinking maybe it was just a fluke that he told us.

But, he's done it twice since then. He was 79 on Tuesday. I only checked his sugar because he said he felt low. Then another time, he told me he felt low and he was in the 90s. So, maybe it's not a fluke.

If he is starting to sense his lows, it's a really big deal. Hopefully, he won't have many lows, but if he does it's comforting to me that he may be able to tell us.

Dr's appointments

I finally broke down and went to the orthopedic Dr. about my wrist yesterday. It has just been getting worse and worse. It is killing me right now. He narrowed it down to one of four things: a ganglion cyst (but not likely), tendonitis (but not too likely), torn cartilage, or a torn TFCC ligament. It has been established that it's not bone or nerve related. So, I go tomorrow for an MRI of my wrist. I've never had one before. Holden had one 2 years ago due to a knee injury. We just finished paying for it about 2 months ago. Now I get to start paying on mine.

He told me to wear a brace except when I sleep (but I took it off to post...shhhh don't tell anyone). I think the brace makes it hurt worse really.

Riley went to his pediatrician today for a yearly physical. He's average height and weight and above average with his vision and hearing. He's also above average with his developmental skills. I always knew he was smart.

The office is the same one we went to the day he was diagnosed with diabetes. When I walked in the front door it kind of caught my breath. Memories from that day came flooding back. We went back and Riley was weighed and measured. Then, we went into a room. I had some forms to fill out and the nurse said she was going to take him down the hall and do his vision test. As he was walking away, I heard him say to the nurse, "I have diabetes, you know...." I couldn't hear any of the rest. I got a huge lump in my throat. Just to hear him say those words. He just said it so matter- of -factly.

It really didn't go as badly as I thought. The Dr. was interested that he has a pump. He knew it wasn't the work of the local pediatric endo., since he doesn't like the pump. He didn't ask to see his sugars. I'm glad. People that don't live with it don't understand that his sugars will be high sometimes and there's really nothing you can do about it. He did ask what his last A1C was and when I told him 8.1, I quickly added that it was in range for his age. I guess I just wanted him to know that he's doing OK.

And, he is OK, diabetes or not. That's what's really important.