Pumpy the 6th

Riley had an endo appointment yesterday. Everything checked out fine. He has gained 2 pounds. His A1C is 7.0. While this is a little higher than last time I’m still pleased with it.

He ran a temperature all through Wednesday night into Thursday evening. His only complaint was a sore throat, but that only lasted a little while. The fever and sore throat disappeared as quickly as it appeared. And, even though his sugars were a little higher, they didn’t do as bad as they usually do when he has a temp.

I mentioned the fever at his appointment, but didn’t make a big deal of it since everything seemed to have cleared up on his own. I guess I should have insisted that she look in his ears.

Michael and I had a much needed night to ourselves last night. We went out to eat and then went to a movie, the first we have been to by ourselves since Riley was diagnosed. We saw 1408. It was very good and very scary. I am a big fan of John Cusack and scary movies, so to have them both at one time was such a treat. And, I saw a preview for another Halloween movie coming out August 31st. That will probably be the next movie we go to see.

I got a much needed night of uninterrupted sleep. When I got up this morning, I called my mom. She informed me that Riley started running a temp again at midnight, but hadn’t had one since. He also woke up at midnight screaming and crying that his ear hurt.

When he got back to our house, around 11 AM, he said his ear was hurting again. And, his temp was 99.8. That was coupled with a sugar of 324. I gave him some Motrin and called his pediatrician. His ped is an hour away and they close at 12 PM on Saturday. So, there was no way I could bring him in today.

I explained what was going on to a very un-caring nurse. I explained that he was type 1 and that this was wreaking havoc on his sugars. I recounted with her the repeated ear infections he’s had over the last few months. She said that ordering an antibiotic for Riley without seeing him “would be doing him a disservice”. Um, OK, whatever. She said we could bring him in the morning. Then, she went on to say that I shouldn’t have waited so long to call. I told her that he had spent the night away and I had just found out everything.

Needless to say, the office will be getting a phone call or letter later. I am not at all pleased with her lack of concern. This is not the first time I’ve had trouble with this office.

So, I called Riley’s endo, Dr. M. I told her what was going on and she was quick to order him some antibiotics. She ordered him 2 week’s worth and told me to follow up with his ped in 2 weeks to make sure his ears were OK. But, I think I’ll be following up with a different ped, maybe one that cares about more than making a buck or 100 off of me.

And, Riley received his 6th Animas pump today. The last few times I’ve changed his needle the cartridge would not load correctly. When I rewound it then loaded the cartridge it didn’t load all the way up. This caused me to hold down the prime button for an extended amount of time in order for the cartridge to be loaded and then push the insulin through the tube.

Even though this is his 6th pump in 19 months, I’m still impressed with Animas’ customer service. When I called yesterday and explained that all of this had happened the last 3 times I’ve changed his set, they were very quick to overnight another pump. It now sits on the piano waiting to be set with all the info.

I’ll leave you with a few pictures. I hope everyone has a great weekend and a safe and happy fourth of July.



First, Mr. Best Offense in basketball.





Then, Mr. T ball champ.

They Come In Threes

1) I have already invited you to join tudiabetes (a social network for those affected by diabetes). But, I also wanted to share with you a new group that I started there, Parents of Kids with Type 1. So far it has 24 members. It's nice to connect with others that share my experiences. So, for you parents out there, join tudiabetes and then join the parents group. You may learn something or you may be able to give your own expert advice to help someone else.

2) Riley's last T ball game is Thursday and I have yet to post any pictures. I'm a bad mom. I'll get around to it. Holden, Michael, and I are also playing softball with a church league. Michael hurt his knee Saturday before last. He collided with another player in the outfield. He has a bad bone bruise that will take several weeks to feel better and about 3 months to heal completely. What is it with my family and joints? I had wrist surgery for torn cartilage a year ago, then Holden messed up his ankle, and now Michael's knee.

3) I'm late to the meme, but I'm going to participate anyway.

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:

1. Penny
2. Mama
3. Penny Lane

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:

1. eyes
2. hair
3. legs

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:

1. mommy boobs
2. mommy stretch marks
3. ears

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:

1. don't know
2. don't know
3. don't know

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:

1. something bad happening to one of my children
2. spiders
3. Silence of the Lambs

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:

1. toothpaste
2. deodorant
3. a kiss from my boys (including Michael)

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:

1. wedding and engagement ring
2. watch
3. tennis shoes

THREE OF YOUR FAVOURITE MUSICALS:

1. I don't like musicals.
2. people bursting into song in the middle of conversations makes me uneasy
3. and causes me to laugh

THREE OF YOUR [current] FAVOURITE SONGS:

1. Hey There Delilah-Plain White Ts
2. Possum Kingdom-The Toadies
3. Sex Type Thing- Stone Temple Pilots

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:

1. honesty
2. faithfulness
3. sense of family

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS THAT YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE:

1. dark eyes
2. nice smile
3. sense of humor

THREE OF YOUR FAVOURITE HOBBIES:

1. blogging
2. reading blogs
3. catching lightening bugs with Riley

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:

1. sit in a chair on a tropical island
2. with a book
3. and a smile

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:

1. pharmacist
2. nurse practitioner
3. stay at home mom

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:

1. Hawaii
2. Disney World
3. Niagara Falls

THREE KIDS NAMES YOU LIKE:

1. Holden
2. Riley
3. Savannah (would had been Riley's name if he was a girl)

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:

1. babysit my grandkids
2. see a cure for type 1 diabetes
3. not have to work

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A CHICK:

1. spiders make me shriek and run from the room
2. PMS
3. I cry easily at movies and TV shows (Extreme Makeover:Home Edition gets me every time.)

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A BOY:

1. I love sports.
2. I hate the color pink.
3. I hate to wear dresses.

THREE CELEB CRUSHES:

1. Johnny Depp
2. Keanu Reeves
3. Gavin Rosdale

Choking back tears

About three weeks after Riley was diagnosed, he checked his own sugar for the first time. But, then, we started checking it for him. It was just easier (and quicker) that way.

Michael and I have been talking lately about how we need to start getting him back in the habit of checking his sugar himself since he will be checking it once he starts school.

But, I’ve been putting it off. I didn’t really know why. I thought maybe it was because it’s just easier to do it myself.

Michael called me yesterday morning. He said he was in the kitchen fixing Riley’s breakfast and he told Riley to go get his machine and put it on the couch and he would come in and check his sugar.

A few minutes later Riley walked in holding his machine in his hand. He had not only gotten his machine, he had checked his sugar all by himself without being prompted.

When Michael told me this story my eyes immediately filled with tears. I had to take a few breaths before I said anything. All I could say is, “That’s good and sad all at the same time.”

Then, before snack last night I told Riley to check his sugar. He went and got his machine. He removed a strip and placed it in the machine. He readied the lancet. He stuck his finger, but didn’t get any blood on the first try. Again, he readied the lancet and stuck his finger. This time he must have gotten it right because I saw him squeeze a small drop of blood out of his little pinkie finger.

He put the blood on the strip and waited for the beep. “What number is it?”, I asked.

“One, five, five”, he said.

“OK, run and get you a snack.”

He put his machine and lancet back into his case and zipped it. Then, he went into the kitchen in search of a snack.

I turned and looked at Michael. I was barely able to hold back the tears as I choked out, “Why is that so painful for me to watch? I check his sugar all the time and don’t think about it. But, it kills me to watch him do it.”

I guess it's just a harsh reminder to me that it's his disease. It's his burden to bear. I don't want it to be that way. I want to take that burden from him.

But, I can't. All I can do is teach him to manage it as best he can.

And, sit and choke back tears as I watch him try.

Happiness is...

looking at Holden as he goes on and on about what he did today and what he’s going to do tomorrow, he’s so handsome and so grown and he still talks to me, even though he’s 16

coming home to Michael and Riley in front of the computer screen enthralled in a game of Avatar

coming home to a clean house and folded clothes (thanks, Michael)

watching my two boys run around the yard chasing lightening bugs

hearing Holden’s car pull safely into the driveway

watching Riley go down the water slide at the pool for the first time, he’s my brave boy, that braveness will serve him well in the future

watching Riley throw the ball to Grace and seeing the proud way she struts back with it in her mouth (Grace is our dog, by the way)

sitting in the swing watching Riley play with his brother with my head on Michael’s shoulder and my legs thrown over his legs

putting diabetes in it's place and having it stay there

Everybody's Doing It

If you haven't gone there yet, do it now. It won't hurt a bit, I promise and you might even find out some useful info or help someone else out who might have a question.

I'm talking about tudiabetes. It's a social networking group for people with diabetes (or people whose family members have D)

I'm not one for peer pressure. But come on, do you really want to be the only one that's not doing it?

I didn't think so.

Just for fun

I felt like writing a post today, but not really thinking. I found this meme which I thought was perfect.

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought? I honestly don’t remember. I was brushing my teeth at the time.

2. How much cash do you have on you? $20. Usually it would be $0, but I just got a 20 out of the ATM to put in a graduation card.

3. What's a word that rhymes with DOOR? Poor (you go with what you know)

4. Favorite planet? Earth. It’s the only one I’ve ever been to.

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone? Michael’s Cell

6. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone? Pachelbel Canon

7. What shirt are you wearing? A nursing scrub shirt, it is blue with white daisies on it and in the middle of the daises is a yellow smiley face.

8. Do you label yourself? I guess. I’m a mom, wife, Christian, daughter, nurse…

9. Name the brand of the shoes you're currently wearing: New Balance

10. Bright or Dark Room? dark

11. Why is there always a missing question? Why is all the rum gone?

12. What does your watch look like? It is gold-toned with a black face; no numbers on it, just gold bars where the numbers should be, and at 12 it has a (fake) diamond chip.

13. What were you doing at midnight last night? sleeping

14. What did your last text message you received on your cell phone say? Ok thanx love u 2 ma

15. Where is your nearest 7-11? I have no idea, but I think it’s somewhere in Virginia or maybe at the beach?

16. What's a word that you say a lot? Freakin’ (it’s my substitute curse word) My mom hates it.

17. Who told you he/she loved you last? My mom

18. Last furry thing you touched? My cat, Sally May.

19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days? No illegal drugs, ever and no prescription drugs in the last 3 days. But, I took 3 Ibuprofen this morning.

20. How many rolls of film do you need developed? Probably about 10. I use my digital camera all the time now, but I still have a drawer with old rolls of film that need developing.

21. Favorite age you have been so far? 23 (the year I met my husband) I was young. Holden was 6. I had a little bit of money. Life was good.

22. Your worst enemy? diabetes

23. What is your current desktop picture? Holden and Riley at the Bobcats ballgame

24. What was the last thing you said to someone? I haven’t said anything in a while. Let’s see, I think I said “Whew, I’m finally cooling off” (It’s very hot here today.)

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly, what would it be? No doubt about it, give me the million, baby!!!

26. Do you like someone? I like a lot of people. But, not you. You scare me:-)

27. The last song you listened to? “Hey There Delilah” by Plain White T’s (that’s one of my new favorite songs)

28. What time of day were you born? I was born at 12:02 PM.

29. What's your favorite number? 3

30. Where did you live in 1987? With my parents about 4 miles down the road from where I live now. I was 13.

31. Are you jealous of anyone? No, not that I can think of. Jealousy does no good. It just eats at you.

32. Is anyone jealous of you? Not that I know of. Somehow, I really doubt it.

33. Where were you when 9/11 happened? Driving down the road to work. I was listening to Bob and Sherri on the radio. They were talking about the first plane and watching everything on CNN when the 2nd plane hit. When they said the second plane hit, I went numb. That’s when I knew it wasn't an accident.

34. What do you do when vending machines steal your money? It depends, if I’m off somewhere I’ll usually do nothing. But, if I’m at work I’ll leave a sticky note up there to let someone know and usually when nice vending machine man comes to refill it, he’ll give me my money back.

35. Do you consider yourself kind? yes

36. If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be? I already have one on the inside of my right ankle. But, if I had to get another one, it would probably be on my butt. Just kidding. Um, I guess maybe my arm? I don’t know. I don’t want another tattoo.

37. If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be? French. Spanish would be more useful, but I like the way the French language sounds.

38. Would you move for the person you loved? Yes, I would follow Michael to the ends of the earth.

39. Are you touchy-feely? No. Not. At. All.

40. What's your life motto? I don’t really have a motto I guess, but I often say “Don’t ask me a question you really don’t want the answer to”

41. Name three things you have on you at all times: my wedding ring, my engagement ring, and my watch

42. What's your favorite town/city? I’m a fan of Charlotte, NC. I haven’t done much traveling.

43. What was the last thing you paid for with cash? My breakfast. Bacon, egg, and cheese on toast and tater tots. Hey, I'm PMS'ing leave me alone. For real. Leave. Me. Alone.

44. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it? It’s been years ago. It was probably to my friend Heidi. So it was probably about 9 years ago or so. We correspond via email now.

45. Can you change the oil on a car? No, but I wish I could. It would save me some money.

46. Your first love: what is the last thing you heard about him/her? That he’s living in Raleigh (and that was more than I wanted to know)

47. How far back do you know your ancestry? Um, I knew a couple of my great-grandparents. That’s about it.

48. The last time you dressed fancy, what did you wear and why did you dress fancy? To go to Holden’s Academic Awards Banquet. I wore a black knee-length skirt that had some big flowers on it (they were beige and white) and a black short-sleeved sweater, black hose, and black high-heeled shoes. Don't know what name brand any of it was. I don't pay attention to that kind of stuff.

49. Does anything hurt on your body right now? My left lower abdomen, take a guess why. That’s also the same reason I took Ibuprofen this morning. And, the same reason you need to leave. me. alone.

50. Have you ever been burned by love? Yes, and I don’t care to expound on it.

51. Do you have a crush on any bloggers? no, you guys are cute and all, but I only have eyes for my husband

52. Where would you like to live? More toward the central part of NC in a great big house with a great big yard. But, to do that I’d need a great big bank account. So, it’s not going to happen.

OK, that was fun and mind-numbing. I tag anyone who wants to be tagged.

Just a quick plug

I will be hosting another Walk of Hope this year.

Walk of Hope 2007 will be held on October 6, 2007 (Riley's 2 year anniversary of having D)

All proceeds will go to The Iacocca Foundation to help find a cure for Type 1 diabetes.

If you would like to donate to Walk of Hope, click here.

At the website page, click on "Donate". When you fill in your info. under "designation" type in "Walk of Hope 2007" and that will make sure that the donation goes to my walk.

I've also posted a link in my sidebar in case maybe you can't donate now, but maybe in the future.

Every little bit helps, $5, $10, $20, it doesn't matter. It all adds up.

And, if you chose to remain anonymous that's fine, but if you don't mind I'd like to know if you donate. I just want a chance to give you a personal thanks.

No more gray

Since Riley was diagnosed with diabetes I have been determined that it wouldn’t stop our family from doing the things we always did.

And, I succeeded pretty well with that.

We still went on vacations. We still went to the beach to spend the day. Holden played on a traveling basketball team and I drug Riley along for the ride. Riley participated in sports.

But, it sort of felt empty. I was happy, but I felt like the happiness was tainted somehow. My happiness was a little gray around the edges.

But, lately, I feel as if I’ve awakened from a deep sleep or that I’ve been walking around in a fog for, oh, let’s say the last 19 months or so.

I go to the tennis courts and hit the ball around with Holden. I’m walking and trying to work myself up to start running. I go and sit on the beach and glance up from my book long enough to see Riley playing in the water. I cheer for Riley when he hits the ball and takes off for first base.

These are all things I’ve done many times before. But, somehow, it’s different now.

Before, I was doing all these things in spite of diabetes. Now, I’m doing things without factoring diabetes into the equation at all.

It may not sound like much of a difference, but it is.

I guess maybe I’ve just finally decided that diabetes isn’t going anywhere. It’s time to get on with life.

So, what have I been doing the last 19 months? I’ve been living life, but my heart wasn’t in it. My heart was still hurting too much from the pain caused by a disease that invaded my son’s body.

Don’t get me wrong; the pain is still there a little. I think, to some extent, it always will be there. But, it’s dulled enough for me to stop focusing on it.

And, as far as a cure goes, my hope is still there. I have to hope that one day Riley won’t have this anymore. But, do I believe there will ever be a cure? I’m not so sure.

I continue to pray every day for the researchers that are working to find a cure. I will be holding Walk of Hope again in October.

But, I’ve decided that there may never be a cure. I hope there will be. You don’t know how much I wish for it. But, I just have to accept that maybe there won’t be.

And, because I've accepted that, I'm the happiest I’ve been in a while. There's not any gray around the edges anymore.