Tuesday, January 05, 2010

Rambling Ranting Time

I’ve had lots of blog posts running through my mind lately. But, due to some sort of virus issue with my computer I’ve been unable to get onto blogger. I finally found a solution to the problem today.

Where do I start?

Frustration…yeah, that’s where I will start. Riley’s sugars have been out of control for the past month or so. He’s gone high several times a day, with no obvious rhyme or reason to it, no pattern, no red- flag- here’s-where-you-need-to-adjust-basals, and, no obvious need for a basal increase. By “obvious need for a basal increase” I mean his ratio is dead on. I learned a long time ago that Riley’s basal needs to be about 55% of his total daily dose of insulin. Well, it is. Yet, still the highs. I say high, but he woke up with a blood sugar of 66 this morning. That, after going to bed with a sugar of 351.

I know I’ve been there and done that before, yet still frustrating. And, I know I shouldn’t focus on his A1C, but I can’t help it. His last one was 7.2. His new endo was amazed at it and thought it was great. Well, we go back next week and, somehow, I don’t think he’s going to be quite as amazed. I’m guessing 7.8, if we’re lucky. Aggggghhhhhhh!!!! I just want to scream. But, experience tells me that it won’t help, it will only give me a sore throat.

Maybe he’s growing? That’s what I usually blame for the wacky sugars. Another problem is that Riley has been out of control hungry lately. By that, I mean he is asking for food on an almost hourly basis. He’s started checking his sugar more frequently claiming he feels low (he rarely is). I think he’s checking because he hopes his sugar is low enough to eat. And, who am I to deny him food? Yet, he’s usually in the 200s when he checks and he just ate an hour before, and……

Agggggggggghhhhhhhhh!!! (Yeah, still not helping.)

Every time I tell him he can’t eat, I feel guilty. Yet, if I let him eat and his sugar is high I feel guilty too. Still, in the back of my mind I have this nagging feeling that by not letting him eat whenever he wants it is going to bring up issues of control later.

Maybe his carb coverage needs adjusting? Maybe I just need to let him eat and let the chips fall where they may. His sugars are sucky anyway, he might as well eat. It doesn’t help that there are still a few holiday treats at the house. Santa is forbidden from bringing chocolate and candy next year.

I guess the best thing to do is let him eat, but keep it low carb and healthy? Sounds good on paper. Doesn’t translate so well into the real world.

I am just so sick of this disease. Diabetes has a way of making me feel like a failure. I feel like I’m not doing enough for Riley, yet, strangely, at the same time, like I’m doing too much. How does that work?

OK, rambling ranting time is over. Any suggestions would be appreciated. I know he needs to eat, he’s obviously growing, but any suggestions on what to do about his basals?

I have good things going on too, lots of them. I am blessed beyond measure. I am excited about what 2010 might bring.

Yet, today, I just need to vent about this stupid, terrible, very bad disease that makes me want to pull every hair out one by one.


Meri said...

I'm with you. I hear every word and 100% understand what you are saying. The boys ask, "can I have a snack?" And I say, "Test your sugar first." (The number usually dictates what the can eat.) In the back of my head, I feel the same way...It's so wrong to do that and put the two together. I wish I had advise for you. It is what it is. Like you, I try not to be too anal about it and make food a big deal. After they test, I often tell them to correct and bolus for the snack, and then they can eat it in 10 or 15 minutes. I'm sure there is a better way...but they ususally go along with it. When I'm desperate, they get string cheese, or a sugar free jello cup. But that doesn't happen too often.

Good luck! If you figure out if we are totally screwing them up, let me know! LOL!

phonelady said...

I so know the feeling omg do I ever . Take care dear and if you figure it out let us all know .

Wendy said...

I hate not being able to figure out what settings to change at what time!!!!

Sometimes I just change it all and pray for the best...hate to admit it, but I get so stinkin' fed up with being a pancreas that I go crazy!!!!!

Addy eats. And eats. And eats. And I let her. I try to do the right thing and make her have an apple if she's already had something less healthy or whatever, but sometimes it's all I can do to throw food at her and hope she doesn't explode!!!!!!!!!

I know I'm not much help...but just know that you're not alone.

GROWING IS A BEAST with this disease!!!!!!

Crystal said...

Wacky numbers suck; usually for me it's hormonal or means I'm getting sick. Sorry you're going through this.

bethany said...

i think we all deal w/ the crazy numbers and not being to figure them out ... i was diagnosed at 16 so my parents never really had complete control but know that it's stressful no matter who's trying to figure it out ... the only thing i could ever come up w/ is sugar free snacks or snacks w/ 15 carbs or under ...good luck!

Anonymous said...

Okay, if he is home and you know he is going to eat every hour, you can increase basals and that will pull down the blood sugars. Then at the two hour mark, he may be 150. I also overbolus but only for dinner, when I know she will be home sitting on her keister afterwards. I lower the ICR by one. Then at the one and a half hour mark feed the insulin (it will be peaking strongly then). Her BS does not rise at all when I do this. This is for a small 15 gram snack. Also if giving fruit or high glycemic snack with dinner, will delay this dessert for 50 minutes. By the time it digests insulin is peaking and she will not rise.

Anonymous said...

P.S. I know you can use plus temp basals and overbolusing to cover many more carbs than we do. Because her basals fluctuate extremely during the hours of 6pm and midnight. And if they need to be changed down (after being on the higer setting for a while) she gets a lot of free snacks before we figure out how much to decrease (usually we figure it out at the end of one evening). I don't intentionally overbolus more than a unit or unit and a half (or you could call this bolusing first and delaying dessert) because I am afraid to. But I know people do it. Her eating schedule now is breakfast, lunch, dinner, afternoon snack at 4pm, early dinner, sixish, with overbolus and snack for the overbolus and extra IOB at 7:30pm. If on weekends and hungry, at 7:30pm give free food to cover insulin and more snack on top of it with insulin.