Im Not A Idiot

Your Language Arts Grade: 100%

Way to go! You know not to trust the MS Grammar Check and you know "no" from "know." Now, go forth and spread the good word (or at least, the proper use of apostrophes).

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I just wanted to prove that Im not the idiot that I appear to be on this blog. I no I make many a grammatical arrow on hear. But, I'm actually a sticker win it comes to grammer and stuff like that there.

Im glad I found this quiz. Just this morning I typed "It takes too much time and I question it's accuracy." in a blog comment. I really need to proofreed more before hitting "publish".

Why Be Different?

Yesterday I found this email in my inbox:


"...while at first I was encouraged that you'd found an outlet to talk about your son and his disease and your feelings, I was quickly unnerved by your post titled, "A Disjointed Post".

It didn't take much more reading until I realized that this was an ongoing theme. Do you have something against Type II diabetics? Do you really feel that they deserve a cure less than Type Is?? Because with very little reading through the lines, that is what you seem to be implying. You also seem to be saying that while your son, who I believe does deserve a cure and doesn't deserve this disease, didn't do anything to get this disease, that Type II diabetics are sick and it's their fault. And that they are all old people. As a nurse I wouldn't expect you to be so one-sided."


To tell you the truth I was pleased to see it. First, because the author chose to reveal who they are. And, secondly, because I thought it was nice to debate it in a private forum rather than in my blog comments. I love a debate, but only if those participating are going to be adults about it.

Here is my response:

"I did not in any way mean that those with Type 2 do not deserve a cure nor did I mean to imply that those with Type 2 caused it themselves. I am a nurse and probably about 80% of my patients are diabetic (all of them Type 2). So, I see what type 2 is like also. Also, you are right, not everyone with Type 2 is old, just like every one with Type 1 is not young. I am also a member of tudiabetes and see many Type 2s on there that are both old and young.

Actually, if you go to this post you'll see that I said myself that those with Type 2 did not cause their disease. My grandmother and dad are both Type 2.

The point I was trying to get across is that Type 1 diabetes and Type 2 diabetes are NOT the same disease. I am assuming that you (or someone close to you) has Type 2 diabetes. So you probably know that Type 2 diabetes makes an individual unable to effectively use the insulin that their pancreas is creating, an insulin resistance if you will.

Type 1 is caused when an auto immune response in the body kills the beta cells in the pancreas (the cells that produce insulin). So, those with Type 1 don't produce any insulin at all. If my son went just one day without insulin injections he would die.

I'm not saying Type 1 is worse. I don't even want to debate that. But, you must understand that since my son has Type 1 that is where I will push for a cure. While a cure for Type 2 would be great, it would not help my son at all. He doesn't have insulin resistance. He doesn't make insulin at all. I feel that by lumping both types of diabetes together it diminishes the possibility of my son receiving a cure.

Secondly, when I said that Type 1 is not you grandmother's type of diabetes it was because I get comments from people all the time whose grandmother have Type 2 so they think they can tell me what my child can and cannot eat. While those with Type 2 may have to limit their carb intake to help control their sugars, those with Type 1 can pretty much eat whatever they want as long as they cover it with insulin.

Of course, I think people should keep their opinions to themselves about what anyone is eating. Would they tell a morbidly obese man in McDonalds that he shouldn't be eating that Big Mac and fries? Probably not. Why does someone feel the need to tell my 5 year old he's being bad when he eats certain things?

So, that is where I'm coming from. There was no ill will wished towards those with Type 2. As I said, my son has Type 1, so that is where I'm pushing for a cure. But, that doesn't mean I don't want those with Type 2 to be cured also. It's just that the cure is not going to come from the same place because they are caused by different things. To me it's like someone saying, " I donated to breast cancer research so I don't need to donate to leukemia research. " You see, they are the same, yet different.

Again, thank you for your comment. I think it is great that you took it upon yourself to email me. I wish more people would do that when they feel passionate about something."

I just wanted to post this because I realized that someone else could read my disjointed post and perceive the same thing. That is not what I want. I am not looking to push those with Type 2 to the side.

I do believe, however, that it is not helping either type by lumping the two together.

(The author of the above email replied with a very nice email this morning. He/she also gave me permission to use their email in this post.)

Email Ellen Degeneres for Diabetes

I mentioned a couple of posts ago about emailing The Ellen Degeneres Show to make her aware that November is National Diabetes Month and also to let her know that World Diabetes Day is November 14.

Bernard took it upon himself to do this also. So, why don't you try it too? My goal is to create awareness about this disease. If we can at least get her to talk about diabetes on World Diabetes Day that is a step in the right direction.

Bernard posted his letter on his blog. Mine started out praising her for creating awareness about breast cancer during October. Then, I spoke of the difference between Type 1 and Type 2 and why a cure must be found.

I also made them aware of World Diabetes Day and listed a link.

Email Ellen. What's it going to hurt? It's just a few minutes out of your time and who knows the impact it could have.

Also, if you have any other shows you think might be responsive let me know and I'll send them a letter too.

The Menagerie

Mice

Rats and Monkeys

Why couldn't my son have been born in a zoo?

A Disjointed Post

I have a lot of thoughts swirling around in my brain today. I can't seem to make sense of them all.

For one thing, I am TIRED. Riley started running high at bedtime last night. After a few corrections and still having a sugar of 363, I changed his set at around 1:30 this morning. Then, because he tends to run low after site changes, we were up several more times just to check. He never went low. He woke with a sugar of 159 this morning. He must have been OK since then. His teacher has orders to call if his sugar is less than 70 or more than 225. She hasn't called today.

I want to DO something about this disease. I want to scream from the rooftops that my son has this disease and how often he must stick himself with needles and how I had to wake him at 1:30 this morning to jab a long needle into his delicate flesh. I want to scream that I'm terrified of complications and low blood sugars.

But, mostly, I want to scream that my son did not get this disease because he ate too much sugar. He does not have "bad" diabetes (as opposed to the good kind other people have?). Neither he nor I did anything to cause this disease and it is not your grandparents kind of diabetes.

I want to change the name of the disease that my son has. Let Type 2 keep the diabetes term. Someone at this discussion over at tudiabetes recommended that we rename it Catastrophic Ruthless Attack on the Pancreas or CRAP for short. I like it. Or maybe we could call it beta cellosis. Or pancreaspoopedoutitis. I don't know. I want people to know that the disease my son has is not the disease that their grandmother has.

I want to make people aware. How do I do this? I blog, but my readers are already painfully aware of this disease.

I wasn't going to share this for fear that people would think it was a little off the wall, but at this point in my sleep deprivation I really don't care.

I emailed The Ellen Degeneres Show yesterday with statistics about diabetes. I made them aware of the difference between Type 1 and Type 2 diabetes. I told them that November is National Diabetes Month. I also made them aware that November 14 is World Diabetes Day and provided them with a few links. I asked that they consider mentioning diabetes on the show to create awareness.

I didn't get back a reply so I'm sure my email was promptly deleted. But, hey, I tried.

I've thought about emailing other major shows also. I figure even if it doesn't help it won't hurt either. I'm only one little mom with a blog. But, if we all flooded them with email about November being National Diabetes Month and our own personal stories, maybe they would pay attention. Maybe they would at least mention it on their show. Anyone with me on this?

My dream is to have gray ribbons everywhere in the month of November much like the sea of pink we see in October.

Is that so much to ask?

A Couple of Things

Just a couple of things I want to mention.

First, it's flu shot season. And, because I'm a nurse, I feel I have to push this issue. Everyone should get their flu shot. My whole family gets it. But, those with chronic conditions (ie: diabetes) should most definitely get the flu shot.

The CDC says that 36,000 deaths occur from the flu every year in the US. And, there are 200,000 hospitalizations from the flu. We all know what a bad cold does to your sugars, so imagine the havoc the flu would reek.

This comes directly from the CDC website:

"The CDC recommends influenza vaccination for those at high risk for complications from the flu, including individuals aged 65 and older and others with chronic medical conditions such as heart and lung disease and diabetes, as well as health care workers. All other groups, including household members of high-risk persons, healthy people ages 50-64, and others who wish to decrease their risk of getting the flu should begin receiving vaccinations in November. CDC also encourages children aged 6 months to 23 months to receive influenza vaccinations."

Secondly, I went a little crazy one day and signed up for NaBloPoMo. National Blog Posting Month is in November. If you sign up for it you are saying you will post every single day in November (no cheating by copying and pasting previous posts)



Why don't you sign up too? November is also National Diabetes Month. So, you can hone your writing skills while getting the word out about diabetes.

If you click on the button in my sidebar it will take you to my page. If you click on the "Main" tab at the top you can find out how to sign up.

I hope to see you there.

Primal Scream

Not much sleep last night,
lows, lows, lows
over treated lows

Site change this morning
draw up, peel, swab
wait for it to dry

He tries to run away
to the hall, to his room, to the moon
I hold him in place

He needs a distraction: I ask about Spongebob
one, two, three
click

His chin wrinkles and his eyes moisten
hands fly to the site, trying to grab, to rub
I pull his hand away

He lets out a primal scream
hug, kiss, pat
he clings to me

My primal scream is buried
by fear, guilt, will
I must not let it escape

Balus and Bosal

I'm at my wit's end (is that supposed to be possessive? it's my wit right? whatever that is) when it comes to Riley's numbers lately.

One good thing is that the average on his machine has come down about 30 points since his last endo appointment. But, we've had quite a few lows.

The problem is the lows come at different times. If he's having consistent lows at around the same time every day then I know what to do. But, when his lows (and highs) are all over the place I'm at a loss.

He had a low in the 50s night before last, just before bedtime. I don't sleep well anyway, but a low like that just before I tucked him in to bed didn't help any.

I guess we overdid it because he ran high all night. Oh wait, he runs high all night every. freaking. night.

I have increased carb coverage. I've increased his basals. We correct him at night and still he stays high. Again, not good for my sleep pattern. Because when I correct him in the middle of the night even though he hasn't really been coming down I still worry that he will eventually crash.

His basal rates look crazy to me. He always had his lowest basals leading up to bedtime, but now his highest rate is from 9 PM- 12 AM. And, still, he's high. All. night. long.

Is it because he's growing? Is it because he's not active at night? Is it because his pancreas is helping me out during the day, but at night it need it's rest too?

I don't know. I try and try not to let the numbers get to me. But, they do. Still, it's better than it used to be. Before ALL the numbers got to me. Now, it gets to me when he runs high for a while or we have a lot of lows close together.

Yesterday at school he was high all day. We kept pumping the insulin in. He'd drop some, but he still stayed in the 200s most of the day. And, someone had a birthday party yesterday. So, he ate a cupcake with a sugar of 268.

He usually gets snack at my mom's after school but the birthday party was at the end of school so I told my mom not to give him snack. But, he'd gotten quite a bit of insulin at the party so I told her to check his sugar at some point just to make sure he was OK.

She checked him at 4:05 PM (1 hour and 15 minutes post-party insulin) and he was 168. At 4:58 PM ( a mere 53 minutes later) he said he felt low. His sugar was 50. He got a juice box and 15 minutes later he was 42.

When Michael walked in the door I looked at him and said, "I give up." I'm just so frustrated with it all.

Then, last night before bed he was in the 300s. Rebound? Maybe. His pancreas screwing with me? That's more likely.

I'm just at a point now where I feel like I can't win. I look at his numbers and I'm at a loss of what to do. The words basal, bolus, insulin on board, and carb ratio swim around in my brain and end up looking like balus, bosal, carb board, and ratio on insulin.

It's just stopped making sense to me. Riley's endo said I could fax his sugars to her and she's see what she could do.

But, what can she do, adjust here and adjust there only to adjust here and there again in a few days? All the while I get to see Riley's eyes glaze over with every low and have my heart ache with fear with every high that just won't come down.

Sorry to be such a downer but I'm feeling a little inadequate right now caring for Riley's diabetes. Nothing I'm doing seems to be helping.

Sometimes I feel like diabetes and I are in a race. And I'm so afraid it's going to win.

Saturday

We woke up early on Saturday morning. I still had some last minute things to do.

As usual the first thing I did was go into Riley's room and check his blood sugar. But, before I did, I just sat for a while and looked at him and held his little hand. Two years ago life had been so carefree and then, with one finger stick it all came crashing down around us.

As I sat and held his hand I prayed a prayer of thankfulness to still have him in my life. Things could be so much worse and I am truly blessed.

We got up and got ready and went to the walk. We had more people come out and show their support this year. Still, I raised less money. This year we raised $1,920.00 (almost $800 less than last year). But, I know that every little bit helps and even a little is better than none at all.







The walk went well. Riley went low a couple of times. I had decreased his basal but he still dipped down probably from a mixture of excitement and increased activity.


Our plans were to take Riley to a movie and out to eat to celebrate 2 healthy years with this disease. But, there weren't any children's movies playing.

Riley chose a Japanese steakhouse as his restaurant of choice. He loves that place with the flames and throwing of various food objects. And the rice, we can't forget the pile of rice they give you.

I don't carry a purse. I hardly ever do. I just don't like having to lug something around. So, I carried Riley's machine in my hand and laid it on the table.

We had been there a few minutes when one of the waiters came up and poured Michael some more Diet Coke.

"Are you diabetic?", he asked Michael nodding to the blood sugar machine.


"No, he is.", Michael said pointing to Riley.

"Me too. I got it when I was 4."


"Riley was 3.", I said.


Then, the waiter was gone. Michael and I just looked at each other. When I pointed the waiter out to Riley and told him he had D too, Riley's eyes lit up.

Later, when he came back to fill up Michael's glass once again, he asked if we knew what had brought on Riley's diabetes. We said no. He said his was brought on by being attacked by fire ants.

As he was leaving the table this time he glanced over his shoulder and said, "Good luck to you guys. It's not easy."

Yes, you are right Mr. Nice Waiter Guy. It is not easy.

I had to spend the rest of the time trying not to stare at him as he made his way around the restaurant. Being in the presence of others with Type 1 tends to make me do that sometimes.

After that we went to a county fair. Riley had a wonderful time riding rides and I had a wonderful time watching him.

His favorite ride was a boat that swung back and forth. It went kind of high for a kid Riley's age. But, he thoroughly enjoyed it.

I stood there and watched him. He had a huge grin on his face, one of those grins where I swear his eyes are lighting up. And, the tears welled up in my eyes.

All I could think was that 2 years ago I never thought I'd see that smile again. But, there it as was as bright as ever.

When we got ready to leave he got the ice cream he was promised. And, once again, I thought about how 2 years ago I never thought he'd eat ice cream again.

The whole day and night only reminded me of what Riley had told me the night before.

He really is going to be OK.

I just love my kid

Friday night as I was tucking Riley into bed, I asked him if he knew what the next day was.

"The walk."

"Yes. But, it's also the day you were diagnosed with diabetes. Two years ago you were in the hospital and mommy and daddy were learning how to take care of you. So, tomorrow after the walk we'll do something special."

"Ice cream!!!!!!", he yelled with a huge grin on his face.

"OK, we'll do something special and you can have some ice cream."

"And, I hope we get a cure one day. Then I won't have to check my sugars anymore."

I pulled the covers up under his chin.

"But, if they don't ever find a cure I'll just have to keep checking my sugar and taking my insulin."

"And, that will be OK, won't it?"

"Yeah, that will be OK."

730 Days

730 days ago diabetes slipped quietly into our house. It crept in and wound itself into the fabric of our lives. It permeated every pore of our being. It smelled like band aids and tasted like sea water.

Two years ago today, I thought the world had ended.

Looking back it seems like it was a lifetime ago. Was there ever a time when Riley didn't have diabetes?

I've learned a lot in the last 730 days.

I've learned how many carbs are in a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

I've learned that Lantus really does only last for 28 days.

I've learned that you can't keep syringes in the bottom of a pocket book just in case you need them. The numbers rub off.

I've learned Animas' 800 number.

I've learned that sometimes when Riley is low, he starts to cry.

I've learned that sometimes when Riley is high, I start to cry.

I've learned all sorts of things I never, ever wanted to know.

But, I've also learned that some of the most wonderful people in the world have diabetes.

I've learned what it's like to love so much your heart feels like it is going to burst.

I've learned to be thankful for every day I get to spend with my family.

I've learned that, no matter what, life goes on.

And sometimes it's better than I ever thought it could be.

Picture Pages

My baby's very first day of school.




Working diligently.




He was excited and I was terrified.






Soccer





Riley and Michael

Yes!

Hope

While looking up some things for Walk of Hope I came across this quote. I thought I'd share it with you. It describes perfectly how I feel.


"Hope is the feeling that the feeling you have isn't permanent" -- Jean Kerr

A Strange Question

I was speaking to another mother of a child with D today about Walk of Hope. I had invited her daughter to come out and walk as well as to be included in my Faces of Hope presentation. I didn't even ask for a donation because I knew they participated in a JDRF walk.

She said she had never heard of The Iacocca Foundation. I wasn't surprised. I'm sure plenty of people haven't. So, I gave her the whole spiel I usually do. It was founded by Lee Iacocca whose wife died at the age of 57 from complications brought on by Type 1 diabetes, and so on and so forth.

Then, she asked, "So does all of the money from The Iacocca Foundation go just to the children too?"

Huh?

I think I just stood there a second. I didn't really know what to say.

I said, "Well, it goes to research to find a cure for Type 1 diabetes."

Then she said, "I know that all of JDRF's money goes to the kids. And, the ADA usually gives their money to adults."

I said, "Well, the money given to The Iacocca Foundation goes to research to find a cure for kids and adults with Type 1 diabetes."

I didn't know what else to say. She said, "That's nice." And, that was the end of our conversation.

As I was walking to my car I was thinking, "All of the money goes to the kids? What does that mean?"

Then, I remembered a comment I had read on tudiabetes by someone (an adult with Type 1) who said she went to a local JDRF meeting and was told that it was just for the parents of kids with Type 1. She was saying that she didn't support JDRF because all they care about is the children with Type 1 and their parents. At the time I didn't think much of it.

But, now, I'm just befuddled. How can the money just go to kids? If they find a cure are they only going to let the kids have access to it? Do they think that once someone reaches adulthood their D just disappears? Do they think only kids develop Type 1?

I've never thought of Type 1 as a kid's disease. Kids grow up to be adults, adults with Type 1 diabetes. It would be great if they outgrew it, but they don't.

There is enough division between Type 1 and Type 2 diabetes. Do we really need to break Type 1 into sub-categories?

Sorry, the question just blew my mind. I'd love to hear other people's thoughts on what she said.

Hodge Podge

I'm doing much better today. I'm still a little on the emotional side. You know, songs on the radio make me tear up and things like that. But, I'm not mad at this stupid disease like I was yesterday.

I think it was just everything happening all at once. With Riley recently starting school and me working on the walk and Riley's anniversary coming up, I just seem to be on edge all of the time. I can feel the tension in my back and shoulders.

I know that things will get back to our kind of normal once Riley's anniversary and the walk are over. And, I know that at some point I will feel the weight of this disease baring down on me once again.

I'm just grateful that I have you guys to listen to my rants and complaints during my whiny times. And, that I have you to share my blessings with also. ___________________________________________________________________

As I mentioned in my last post, Riley's A1C has gone up to 7.8. Riley's endo smiled when she told me because she said, "I think it's just fine, but I know you don't. So, let's see what we can do."

Riley's sugars have been running high at night for a while now. All. Night.Long.

By breakfast they are usually back down to normal. But, no matter what we did at night he ran high even with correction after correction. Because of this, I'm getting even less sleep than usual. I can't sleep as well when Riley has all that extra insulin floating around. Even though he's been running high the chance of his sugar dropping dangerously low while he's asleep is still enough to keep me up at night.

Dr. M adjusted some basals and some carb ratios. She decreased his range from 140-180 to 120-130. And, things have evened out a bit.

He went down into the 70s in the middle of the night last night (at around 4 AM). I had to give him some fruit snacks, but 30 minutes later he was still hovering in the 70s, so he got more. I guess I overdid it because he woke up with a sugar of 196 this morning.

________________________________________________________

At last count I have about 25 hopeful faces.

And, I have to add that if there is a gene that causes Type 1 diabetes it must be linked with a cuteness gene. Because the kids in Faces of Hope are some of the cutest kids I have ever seen.

It is still not too late add your child or yourself to my hopeful faces.
________________________________________________________

Riley's teacher called at snack today because Riley's sugar was 66. She was getting ready to give him some fruit gushers and when she looked in the box there weren't any.

I think she started to panic a little bit. I told her it was OK and that I thought the snack he was eating would bring it up OK. (It did.)

She called me back a few minutes later to explain what happened. She said that she was keeping a check on the fruit snacks so she could let me know when they were getting low and that he had fruit snacks in his box yesterday. (He also has juice boxes in the fridge.) She said that she brings her lunch to school for the whole week and had noticed that some of her things were missing, but she hadn't said anything.

But, when Riley's gushers went missing today she marched down to the principle's office and told him what had happened. She said that when her food started missing she didn't say anything, but when the health of a child is at stake something had to be done. He said he thought he knew who the culprit was and would take care of it.

I'm happy with the way the teacher handled it. She is very protective of Riley. And, I like it that way.

Cycles

You know, most of the time I try to be understanding. Most of the time, I give people the benefit of the doubt. Even if I don't agree with what they are saying, I at least try to see where they are coming from. I try to keep my judgements to a minimum. I haven't walked in their shoes and they haven't walked in mine.


Today I'm not doing so well with that. I think I'm having a mini pity party and I'm the only one invited.

It all started last night. I'm not really sure what brought it on. Maybe it's the walk and the lack of response I seem to be having this year. So far, I've only raised 1/3 the amount of money that I did last year. And, this year, I've asked more people for donations than I did last year. So, I'm a little discouraged about that.

Or that fact that Riley's 2 year anniversary is coming up on Saturday. I think back to how bad he probably felt two years ago and I was oblivious to it. And, the guilt kicks in.

Or maybe it's because Riley had an endo appointment on Friday and his A1C has gone up from 7.0 to 7.8. I keep thinking that if only I had paid more attention to his numbers that wouldn't have happened.

Last night ended with me crying in my pillow, much like it did every single night a little over two years ago. I feel like we are no better off now than we were that fateful day that Riley was diagnosed.

I'm not in the best of moods today.


So, when I heard someone talking about how a child cried because his parents got him the wrong flavor of ice cream, I want to scream, "He should be glad he could have ice cream at all. Riley would probably eat mud flavored ice cream without complaining if someone offered it to him."

Usually I just let those things slide. They don't understand how much their words sting. There is no way they can. Which is why I usually keep Riley's diabetes stuff to myself.

But, for some reason today I want to tell everyone I meet that my son has diabetes and what he must do to survive every single minute of every single day.

I want to somehow make them feel what it's like to have diabetes in the back of your mind 24 hours a day 7 days a week. What it feels like to watch your child cry and scream about how much he hates his disease. I want them to feel the sick feeling I get in my stomach when Riley is having a particularly bad low. Or the anger that burns in me when a high number is ravaging his body. Or the helplessness that I feel because I want to take this disease away with every fiber of my being, but knowing no matter how much I try it is always there.

I want to make them care, just for a minute.

Like I said, I'm in a bad mood.

I haven't been doing this as long as many of you. But, I've been doing it long enough to know that there are cycles with this disease. Some days I feel like everything will be OK. But, every once in a while I have a day like today.

I know that eventually my anger and frustrations will fade and be replaced by happiness and optimism. But, I also know the happiness and optimism will fade again too.

I guess the key is to have the good days outweigh the bad. And, they do. They do, by far.

It's funny how I do have great days, days where diabetes is way back in the background, but I don't seem to appreciate them as much as I loathe the days that really, really suck.

I need to work on my perspective. I want my happiness to be as all-consuming as my sadness.

I Need Your Help Again

First, I want to thank everyone who has sent me pictures and info for "Faces of Hope". I now have 22 hopeful faces. It's not too late to submit your picture and info if you haven't done it yet.

At my walk last year, in addition to Faces of Hope, I also did a presentation with some facts about Type 1 diabetes along with some facts about The Iacocca Foundation.

This year I wanted to do something different. But, I didn't know what. I thought about making it sort of a day-in-the-life-of-Riley thing. You know, take pictures of Riley checking his sugar, drinking a juice when he's low, that sort of thing. But, somehow it didn't seem quite right to me.

This morning on the way to work I was thinking about it again. You know how I feel about educating people about Type 1 diabetes.

I've posted before that it is hard for me to really educate people about this disease. I can tell them statistics, I can explain that it's an autoimmune disease, and I can tell someone how often Riley must check his sugar. But, somehow my words seem to ring hollow. I can't quite describe what it's really like.

Maybe it's because I don't have diabetes. I only have second-hand knowledge of the disease. I do know that it is so much more than insulin and finger sticks. But, I have trouble articulating exactly what it is other than that.

So, I have decided to do a presentation this year with Type 1 diabetes facts. You know, incidence of diabetes, that it's an autoimmune disease, the highs, the low, things like that.

But, in between those stats, I want to put some quotes by some of you.

What do you want people to know about Type 1 diabetes? What is important for them to know?

Just a few sentences will do. Along with that please include your name (just first name will be fine), age, and how long you have had diabetes.

The quote can be about a positive or a negative. Whatever it is that you want people to know about this disease.

This is not just for the adults. Parents please ask your kids what they want others to know about their disease.

Sorry this is so last minute. If you can help me out I would really appreciate it.

If you want to participate you can leave your answer in the comments section or you can email it to me at pennylane5001@mchsi.com

An example of how I'll present it is kind of like this: "Riley is just like you and me, he just wears his pancreas in his pocket."--Holden, big brother to Riley, age 5, living with diabetes for 2 years.

School Update

I haven't written anything about Riley and school lately. Mainly because things have been going fine.

He hasn't had a low at school in a while. His last one was one day last week and it was only a 73 that appeared at lunchtime. He's been in the lower 200s a few times and it is always at morning snack. That number has always been the hardest for us to reign in anyway.

We haven't had anymore problems with administration. In fact, they seem to have just left us alone to do our own thing. I like it that way.

His teacher continues to amaze me. She is doing really well with Riley. She's doing so well, in fact, that I told her she could stop calling me every time she gives Riley insulin. The first few weeks she would have Riley test and after he had eaten she would call and say, " His sugar is __, he ate ___ carbs, he has ___ units on board, and the pump says to give him___ units." Then, I would tell her how many to give. Sometimes I gave what the pump suggested and other times I did not.

But, after a while I noticed I was telling her to give what the pump suggested every time. So, I wrote her a note and told her that she didn't have to call anymore if she doesn't want to. But, I did ask that she call me if his sugar is <80>200 at his meals. Why? I don't know, because I want to know, I guess. I can't quite let go of the reigns completely. I don't know if I ever will.

After the pump fiasco yesterday, I wasn't very happy sending Riley to school. What if his pump failed?

First off, I realized around 9:00 that when I changed his pump battery it cancelled the temp basal I had set. If I don't decrease Riley's basal by 60% for 3.5 hours after a site change he has severe lows. So, I called Holden and had him go decrease Riley's basal for me. OK, one crisis adverted.

Then, about 30 minutes later, his teacher called. His snack time sugar was 304. The pump suggested to give him 1.10 units for that and his snack. I told her to give him 1.00. Then, a couple of minutes later I remembered that because I had changed the battery after his breakfast bolus that the insulin on board had been erased. I calculated that Riley had probably received about .4 or .5 more units of insulin than he probably needed. That's a lot of extra insulin for his little body.

So, I called the teacher again and asked that she check Riley's sugar again in an hour because I was afraid he had gotten too much insulin and his sugar might crash.

An hour later, I was at a patient's house. This particular patient I have been seeing every week for over 9 years. My kids have been to see him. He's like a part of the family. One of the first things he asks every week is : "How are my boys doing?"

The phone rang in the middle of his dressing change. I excused myself and answered it. "Hi, Penny. This is P." I could hear the panic in her voice. "Riley's sugar is 384. What do I do?"

I was silent for a minute. I couldn't think. I was afraid to tell her to give him more insulin because he had just gotten insulin an hour earlier. But, I didn't want his sugar to go up any more. And, I was very afraid that either his pump wasn't working properly or the site change I had done earlier that morning was bad.

I told her that I would call my mom to come pick Riley up. She said, "I'm sorry. I wish I knew what to do." I told her that was OK, I didn't even know what to do myself.

Then, I called my mom and asked that she go get Riley. As I explained that his sugar was 384, my voice caught in my throat and I began to cry. I couldn't help it. I didn't want to. But, I did it anyway.

My patient just lay there silently. I felt so bad for crying, but my emotions just got the best of me. I sucked it up and finished his dressing change. All the while I kept thinking, "I can't take this anymore." over and over.

I was about 45 minutes away from home. I left my patient's and went to my mom's. An hour had passed since he had last checked his sugar.

I found him in the back yard with my mom. He ran up to me with his pirate's sword in his hand and ,while grinning from ear to ear ,invited me into his castle. My mom had built him a little fort in the back yard to play in.

She said he wasn't upset about leaving school. He was just upset that he wouldn't get to "play pirates" on the playground. So, my mom made it so he could play pirates at her house.

I ushered him into my mom's house with a bottle of ketone strips in my hand. It was lunchtime now, so I checked his sugar. It was 166.

I felt like such a fool. He would have been fine at school. All I could think when his teacher said his sugar was 384 was that I wanted him with me.

Everyone who deals with this disease knows that it's kind of a learn as you go disease. This school thing is new and I'm still learning.

His teacher just called and his snack sugar is 292. Ugh. I hate this disease. Really, really hate it.

I'm not panicing now. Now, I'm just mad.

Pumpy the 7th and WDD

There seems to be a theme emerging here.

This morning was a site change morning. I was kind of glad considering the night Riley had. He clocked in, in the 300s twice in the middle of the night, then down to 219. He awoke this morning with a sugar of 173.

After I changed his site, he continued to eat breakfast. Then, I gave him his bolus.

A few minutes later I heard "Fer Elise" coming from the living room. Uh, oh. That is the song that Riley's pump plays when it alarms.

Michael checked the pump and it said "Low Battery". OK, that was something I could handle.

I got a coin and unscrewed the battery cap and removed a very wet, corroded battery. What?!? How in the world did that happen? I knew the battery wasn't old. We've only had this pump for 3 months.

The rest of the pump looked fine. So, I cleaned out the battery compartment as best I could with a q-tip and popped in a new battery. Then I went through the routine of rewinding it, loading the cartridge, and priming the tubing for a second time.

Then, I sent him off to school praying that it will work OK. And, so far, it has.

But, I called Animas and told them what had happened. Pump number 7 will be delivered tomorrow. I'm just glad that Animas has such good customer service.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Also, I received an email this morning about World Diabetes Day on November 14. I just wanted to share some of it with you.

"This year we are asking every city, town and village to acknowledge World diabetes Day and recognize diabetes as "a chronic, debilitating and costly disease associated with severe complications, which poses severe risks for families."

We need monuments of local and national importance from the village hall to the tallest tower to light up in the colour blue of the UN flag (Pantone 279 or as near as possible).

Among the monuments involved we can count the Empire State Building in New York, the Citadel and Library in Alexandria, the Blue Mosque in Turkey and the London Eye.

An up-to-date list of the buildings that have thus far agreed or declined to join the celebrations can be found on the World Diabetes Day website.

We need your help in adding monuments to the list. Let us know the monuments you are pursuing and those that have declined. "

Go here to check out a list of monuments that are participating.

If you know of a monument or site that is willing to participate you can let WDD know at the link above also.

Also World Diabetes Day has a new website: "The site provides a central location for all World Diabetes Day materials and information." It can be found at http://www.worlddiabetesday.org/.

I went to the site this morning and it has a lot of great stuff there. It details ways you can get involved in promoting this day.

There is a page outlining events that are scheduled for that day. Check it out. There may be one near you.

And, if you have a blog and haven't added a WDD banner, what are you waiting for? Go here to get the code for your banner.

This is an opportunity for us to make a difference. We are always talking about educating people about this disease. Thanks to WDD, here's a chance to do it on a grand scale.

Does this bother you?

I'm paraphrasing here, but read this statement from a radio ad and see what you think:

"...kids eating school lunches leading them down the path to obesity and diabetes"



Does that statement bother anyone else?



It is a radio ad for Boar's Head turkey. I'm in the car a lot and I hear this ad every day, sometimes twice a day.



At first I tried to ignore it, but after hearing it so many times, it really started getting to me.



I am all for eating healthy and I believe an overhaul needs to be done to school lunch menus. But, this ad seems to perpetuate the myth that my son has diabetes because of the way he ate, or that all people that are overweight have type 2 diabetes.



Kids may become overweight from what they eat. But, there is no proof they will develop either type 1 or type 2 diabetes because of what they eat.



Type 1 diabetes is an autoimmune disease. And, just because you are obese doesn't mean you will develop type 2 diabetes either. There are many more factors that attribute to the disease, some of them genetic.



Anyway, just had to vent my frustrations here. I think it would be a good idea to pull the ad. My kid has enough stereotypes hanging over his head because of this disease. He doesn't need them perpetuated by a national ad campaign.

If it bothers you like it does me you can contact Boar's Head and let them know by calling: 1-888-884-2627. I can't find an email address. If any of you do, let me know what it is.

Hopeful faces

Walk of Hope is coming up in a few short weeks. I am doing a presentation again this year entitled "The Faces of Hope".

It's just a little slide show of people with Type 1 with a info like their age, age at diagnosis, hobbies, where they live (if they chose to share). Along with that I need a picture.

I had 22 hopeful faces last year. But, this year I only have 10.

If any of you would like to help me out I'd appreciate it. The presentation will only be shared at the walk. It will not go up on YouTube or even my blog for public viewing.

If you'd like to help out email me a picture or two along with your information to pennylane5001@mchsi.com

Thanks!!!

Taking out frustrations

After reading over my last post I realized that maybe I shouldn't have said that certain people should kiss my butt. Besides being kind of juvenile, it also may make people feel like if they don't know anything about Type 1 diabetes then I am upset with them.

This is not the case at all. I don't expect people to know anything at all about Type 1 diabetes. I'm a nurse and I don't know things about certain diseases. In fact, until Riley was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes the extent of my knowledge was that those with Type 1 were considered "insulin dependant". All I knew on the way to the hospital was that my son would have to take insulin. That was the extent of my knowledge. I had no idea how time-consuming this disease is. I really thought I would give him a couple of shots a day, same dose at the same time, and things would be OK. I had no idea how complex this disease really is.

But, I do expect that if you don't live with this disease to keep your opinions to yourself. Asking questions is perfectly fine. The only way to learn about this disease if you don't live with it is to ask questions. But, even then, you can't truly know what it's like.

I was talking with a couple of my co-workers the other day about the meeting at school. I was telling them that I had called the mother of one of the other kids at Riley's school who has D to see if she'd ever had similar problems with administration. She had not. This particular mom is also a nurse at another agency in town.

After I talked to her I visited a few patients and when I got back to the office I had a voicemail from a social worker at the same agency. This is someone I know pretty well. She's one of the better social workers. We share a couple of patients that don't live in the best of places so we visit them together every month.

The message went like this: " Hi, Penny. This is P. J told me what was going on with you and the school. My son has diabetes too. You stand your ground about this. Don't back down. I'll be thinking about you."

I nearly cried. I called her back and told her how nice it was. I had no idea her son had D too. At some point I said, "So, you really get it." To which she replied with a sad tone in her voice, "Yeah, I do." A lot was said with that statement.

I was telling my co-workers that even though they've seen me cry, they've seen me battle, they've seen the sleep deprivation on my face, they still don't know what it's like. They are both mothers and I told them that they have an idea of how horrible it would be. But, unless you are the mother of a child with diabetes you really don't know what it's like. I told them that what they imagine is probably only the tip of the iceberg to how it really is. I didn't say this to bring about pity. But, to point out that unless you live it, you really can't explain what it's like.

You can educate people about Type 1 diabetes. You can tell them about carb counting and giving insulin. You can tell them how to change a site and how to check a sugar.

But, this disease is so much more than carb counting and giving insulin. It is so much more than finger pricks and site changes or injections.

It is a all-consuming disease. It must be factored in to every single aspect of your life. Those who live with this disease, if they want to have decent control, have to think about it pretty much all the time. They can't eat without thinking about it. They can't drive a car without thinking about it. Those with a pump can't pick out an outfit without thinking about it. You can't sleep without thinking about it. You can't exercise without thinking about it.

Don't get me wrong. People with D don't sit around thinking about it all the time. It's just part of their life. I guess you get used to factoring it in to everything. You have to.

Still, there are the times, like yesterday, when Riley sugar went from 64 to 310 to 66 to 363. Those are the times I just want to scream. Those are the times I want to throw his pump across the room. Those are the times that I want to just give up.

I just want to be able to stop thinking for a little while. But, I can't. That is a luxury this disease will not let me have. You can't stop thinking about it, because it's not going anywhere. You can cry, you can throw things, you can curse the sugar machine as it flashes the word HI. But, you can't forget about it.

Some people try to forget about it. They go for months, sometimes years, just doing their own thing. But, they'll pay for it later. Diabetes always has the last word.

Educating people about Type 1 diabetes is a complicated process. For example, how we deal with Riley's diabetes is not how others deal with theirs or their child's. Everyone responds to carbs differently. They have different basal rates. They have different carb ratios. Some people require a lot of insulin to bring down their sugars, others only require a small amount for the exact same sugar.

An example is Charlie, Carey's son, he is the same age as Riley and also on a pump. Whenever we do a site change on Riley he tends to go low. We try to combat this by decreasing his basal by 60% for 3.5 hours after every site change. Charlie, however, tends to run high after his site changes. His parents increase his basal by 60% after his site changes.

I guess the gist of what I'm saying is this, even us who live with diabetes on a daily basis can't tell others what they should or should not be doing. Or what they should or should not be eating. This disease is so individualized that even we as parents of kids with D can't give out too much advice.

For example, Riley can eat cake and ice cream and have near-perfect sugars. But, another parent's kid may not be so lucky. Cake and ice cream may cause their sugar to go out of control every time they eat it. It would be easy for the mother of that child to judge me and say that I shouldn't let my child eat cake and ice cream because of what it does to their child's sugar.

I always feel inadequate trying to educate others about Type 1 diabetes. For one, you have to simplify everything. Diabetes is not cut and dry. But, when you explain it to someone you can't go into details about different carb ratios at certain times of the day. Or, that when Riley is playing he requires a decrease basal on his pump.

And, the whole "Riley can eat anything anyone else can eat." , well we (the ones who have D or whose kid has it) know that 's really not true. It is, but it isn't. That is hard to explain to someone else. Riley cannot have regular soda unless his sugar is low. He cannot have cotton candy at the fair. Lasagna is a treat saved for those times when his sugar has been cooperative for a period of time. Because I know that he will run high for several hours after he eats it.

I think sometimes my frustration comes, not from people's ignorance of or questions about this disease, but from my own inadequacy of explaining it to others.

Because, I want them to know what it's like. I want them to feel what it's like, just for a moment. So maybe they'll understand when Riley's sugar is high that usually it's nothing that he or I did wrong. Or, understand the pain that comes from watching your child prick his finger like it's nothing. Or, the absolute terror of seeing a reading of 42 on a sugar machine.

But, I can't. So, you see, maybe I'm not really mad at the people who don't know any better. Maybe I'm just mad at myself, because I just can't articulate it well enough to make them understand.

Maybe I'm just frustrated because I don't even understand it myself.

Just when I get comfortable...

I've been debating about posting this. But, it's what's on my mind lately. I've learned that sometimes just by writing about things I'm able to just let them go.

I had a message to call Riley's teacher when I got home Tuesday afternoon. I thought it was kind of strange because she always calls my cell phone. I soon found out why she called me at home. It turned into a marathon conversation.

She said that the elementary school principle had come to her and said that she thought it may be a liability issue for her to be giving Riley's insulin. And, that there is a teacher's aide at the school that is an EMT and had agreed to give Riley his insulin so his teacher could focus more on the class.

My hackles went up. First, the principle had made decisions about my son's health without ever consulting me. Sorry, but she doesn't just find any old body to give my child insulin. Secondly, Riley's teacher only deals with his insulin pump while all the kids are eating snack and lunch. It's not taking away from any class time.

I ranted and raved. The teacher agreed with everything I said. She said that she had no problem giving Riley his insulin. She said what happened was that she asked for some help at lunchtime and snack time. She has a full time assistant, but with the class size and the activity level of the class, she still needed a little more help. And, the fact that she had to help Riley with his insulin factored in too. But, she never asked for help with Riley. She asked for help getting snack and lunch passed out in the classroom.

I became even more irate. Riley may be part of the problem, but he is not the cause of the problem. She assured me that Riley is very well-behaved and that she has absolutely no problems out of him all day. I then asked how often she had to deal with his diabetes on an average day. (He hasn't gone low at school since the first week.) And she answered, only at snack and lunch.

I eventually calmed down. I asked her just to make sure if she was OK giving Riley's insulin. She assured me she was. She said it was a little overwhelming at first, but now she was very comfortable doing it. (Keep in mind, she doesn't check his sugar. She counts his carbs and administers his insulin. It's not a very time consuming task once you get used to it.)

Before I hung up, she said, "And, there's one more thing I want to mention to you." My heart dropped. "I just wanted to let you know that the principle (For the purposes of this post, I will call her Miss B.) questioned me about Riley eating school lunches."

She said that she was telling Miss B how helpful I had been and that I had gone to the lunch lady and figured out the carb counts for things so that Riley could eat school lunches.

She said Miss B was "appalled" that I would let Riley eat school lunches. And, she said that I should not let him eat any lunches from school until his sugars become stabilized. Also, she did not think that I should have let him have a cupcake at the birthday party that a little girl had at school one day.

My head nearly exploded. The teacher said she just wanted to let me know so that if it came up in conversation I wouldn't be blindsided. I told her I appreciated it. Because, if I didn't have that heads up I don't know what I would tell Miss B if she mentioned it to me. But, I can assure you it wouldn't be pretty.

So, first thing Wednesday morning I called the school to arrange a meeting with Miss B. I told them that the meeting had to occur that day because it affected my child's health. I also said that I wanted the main principle in the meeting too. (Riley's school has the head principle as well as a principle for the elementary school students and another for the middle and upper school students.) I said I wanted someone else in there to witness what was said.

Also, I had dealt with Miss B before. She has a tendency to not listen and she can be rude at times. If I went off on her I wanted a witness. I have also spoken with Mr. M (the head man) and find him to be helpful and accommodating.

Miss B called me back a little later and said she would be glad to meet with me. Then, she went on to say, "But, I'll be glad to just get someone to help Mrs. W pass out snack and lunch so that she can continue to give Riley his insulin."

I told her that sounded like a great idea, but I still wanted to meet with her. Oh, no, she wasn't getting off that easily. She was going to listen to what I had to say. And, I was going to say it all in front of her boss.

Michael and I met with her in Mr. M's office. She started off with, "I really hope there hasn't been any misunderstanding. I wasn't trying to make an 'administrative decision'. I just thought that it would make more sense if someone with a little medical background gave Riley his insulin instead."

Michael and I told her that it would make more sense to keep things like they are. Things were working just fine for the first 11 days. Now, all of a sudden, there is a problem. Also, I had spoken with Miss B about all of this before the school year ended last year. She told me then that I needed to work things out with Riley's teacher. And, that's exactly what I did.

Miss B then said, "Mrs. W is very comfortable giving Riley his insulin. She actually doesn't want to turn that over to anyone else."

I told her I didn't either, so I didn't really see where the problem was. She then said, "Well, Mrs. W came to me and said she needed help at snack and lunch. So, I just thought it would make sense to get someone with a little medical knowledge to take over doing the insulin pump for her."

Michael told her that he did not appreciate her jumping to the conclusion that if Mrs. W needed help it was because of the diabetic kid. Mrs. W has a pretty rowdy class. Some of the kids have problems sitting still. We have been assured by Mrs. W that Riley has been "a perfect angel". He said that he was upset that the 2-3 minutes that she spent dealing with Riley's pump was being made a big deal out of while she has other kids in her class that because of their behavior got way more of her time and attention.

Then I told her that Mrs. W had been trained to give Riley his insulin and that we started talking about it several months ago. Then, Michael piped in and told her that I have a BS degree in nursing and before Riley got the pump I had never even laid eyes on one before. So, he doubted an EMT would have any knowledge of the pump either.

I looked at Mr. M and said, "It seems to me that you don't need any training to open a milk carton for a kid. But, you do need training to give my son insulin. Why doesn't the teacher's aide assist with snack and lunch and just let Mrs. W. continue to give the insulin like before?"

He said, "As long as Mrs. W is fine giving his insulin and you are fine with her giving it, then I don't see why we need to change anything."

They decided to get the teacher's aide/EMT to go in the class at snack and lunch to help pass out the food while Mrs. W continued to give Riley his insulin.

Then, just when I thought things were over, Miss B said, "I was looking at the carb list you gave Mrs. W. And, I see that Riley is eating some school lunches (by the way, Riley has only eaten one school lunch since school started). I was just concerned because school lunches have a lot of carbs in them. Also, she said Riley ate a cupcake at a party the other day."

You see, it is good that Mrs. W had pre-warned me about this. Because, otherwise, I probably would have ripped this woman's head off and handed it to Mr. M. But, instead, I calmly explained that Riley can eat anything that any of the other kids can eat as long as he receives insulin. I also told her that if a meal he was eating had a little more carbs than I liked I was ordering Riley water to drink instead of milk, to cut down on the carb count. Then, I explained to her that it was important to me that Riley be treated like the rest of the kids as much as possible. I also told her that I was offended that she thought I would jeopardize my child's health in order to let him be like the other kids.

That's when Mr. M piped in and said, "Yeah, you're not going to let him eat a cupcake just so he can be like everyone else if it's going to kill him."

I then said that cake and ice cream don't really affect his sugar much at all. And, that the foods that do, pastas and for some reason Cheese Nips are limited to special occasions.

That was the gist of the meeting. We did spend more time chatting with Mr. M about his step-son who has gone off to boarding school but was in Holden's class last year. All while, Miss B sulked in the corner.

Later that night, after Riley had eaten a piece of my dad's birthday cake, I checked his sugar two hours later and it was 130. I just wanted to call Miss B up and tell her that she could kiss my butt. (Yes, I know my maturity level is astounding.) But, I'm sure she would just be appalled that I let him have cake at all.

I told Michael what bothers me most is that this is something Riley will have to deal with for the rest of his life. People who are ignorant about his disease, yet think they know everything. People who even after you tell them that yes, you can have that piece of cake shake their head and pity you because they think you are in denial about your own disease.

All those people that feel that way, they can kiss my butt too.

In Remembrance

Lunch Lady Land

I met with the lunch lady today to look at carb counts. She was very nice and accommodating. I looked at every can and box and saw what the carb count is per serving. The only problem is knowing how much of the serving Riley is actually getting at each meal. But, now I can at least make an educated guess as to how many carbs he's eating.

She was very nice. Her husband has Type 2 and she had a little bit of knowledge about carbohydrates. But, when I asked to see the ice cream cups to see how many carbs are in them I got a look. You know the one. The "should-you-really-be-feeding-your-kid-that" look.

So, I took that time to educate her about the difference between Type 1 and Type 2 and while her husband may be insulin resistant Riley does not make any insulin at all. I explained it to her like this, "When you eat ice cream your pancreas spits out insulin to cover that ice cream. Riley's does not. So, when he eats ice cream he has to take insulin through his pump to cover the ice cream. So, he can eat ice cream just like anyone else, he just has to take insulin for it."

I thought I got my point across. But, then she told me about "A" who is in high school and has D and how he eats too much candy. Well, I happen to know that A is very vigilant with his care. So, I proceeded to tell her that if A is eating candy then I'm sure he's taking insulin for it or he's eating it because his sugar is low.

All in all it went well. Like I said she was very nice. It just bothers me to think that when I let Riley have ice cream that people think I'm killing him.

But, I digress. Riley gets to eat cafeteria food next week and he's happy about that.

Since I had a meeting with the lunch lady today I have been singing the Adam Sandler song in my head for the last two days. I found this clip from Saturday Night Live. I am an Adam Sandler and a Chris Farley fan. This is one of the funniest skits I've ever seen. (Yeah, I have a weird sense of humor)

I hope you enjoy and I hope all of you have a great weekend.


Check out this video: adam sandler and chris farley, lunch lady land



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Some going-ons

Just some going-ons:

** Riley's sugars have evened out a bit at school. He is not going low as much. His lows are starting to show a pattern, so I decreased some basals last night to see if that will do the trick.

** Holden is not bolusing Riley anymore. His teacher called me at snack time yesterday and said, "I'm doing it on my own today." She then said, "OK, Riley's sugar is 310 (yeah, I know, I'm working on it) and he ate 15 g of carbs. It says to give him 1.2 units of insulin and he has .05 units of insulin on board." I was pretty impressed. I just love this woman. Have I mentioned that?

** Holden is a little relieved to not have to get out of class anymore. (See, I said he was a good kid.) "Mom, Mrs. M goes over Pre-Calculus so fast that I miss too much stuff when I leave to give Riley his insulin." Now, he's not missing it anymore.

** Riley told me a secret yesterday about a kid in his class. Apparently, A, his reported best friend in his class, has a girlfriend. When I asked Riley if he has a girlfriend he smiled and said, "No, Mom." But, apparently there is a girl in his class who he thinks is pretty. He doesn't know her name, but "She has brown hair like me."

** When I called my mom yesterday afternoon to see what Riley's sugar was when he got home from school, she said she hadn't checked it yet because Holden was just pulling into the driveway. Why was he late? A kid pulled out in the parking lot at school and ran into Holden's car. Holden and Riley were both in the car and are fine. But, Holden's front bumper is not. There is a lot of paint scraped off of it. Since it was the other kid's fault, he will be paying for the repairs. Evidently, he hit him kind of hard because Holden said the other kid's bumper fell off.

** Riley has been taking his lunch to school so far. He started bugging me a couple of days ago to let him start ordering food from the cafeteria. So, I have a meeting with the lunch lady ("in lunch lady land"-anyone know that song?) tomorrow to see if I can figure out some carb counts.

** Riley starts soccer practice on Tuesday. Remember last year when he started soccer? On the first day I found out his coach was a diabetes educator. I was so happy. Well, this year it's even better. His coaches are a mom and dad to a kid who has D. Isn't that great? Yeah, it's me and Michael. I don't know how we get talked into these things. I know nothing about soccer. Michael loves soccer though. I told him he can do the coaching and I'll just try to make sure no one gets hurt and that they all get about the same amount of playing time.

** I have decided to get the whole school involved in my walk this year. (shameless plug coming: Walk of Hope is October 6. Please see the link in my sidebar if you would like to donate.) I will be typing out a letter that will go out in the kid's book bags. I'm nervous about it. I want to educate, but I don't want to overwhelm. I want people to know what Riley does every day and why it is so important to find a cure , but I don't want their sympathy.

** Riley's teacher just called about his morning snack. His sugar was 260 this morning. Here's my problem. He's usually high at snack , but if he gets a correction he goes too low by lunch. I've increased his insulin sensitivity a lot already. Do you think I should increase it more? He seems to only go low at lunch if he gets a correction. So that's probably the problem, right?

** I am tired of being a pancreas.

Imagine

All you parents out there, just imagine that you could not afford life-saving insulin for your child. That you had to watch them suffer and die from a treatable disease because you just didn't have the means to afford the drug that could keep them alive.

This is a reality for parents all around the world every day.

While we complain that insurance doesn't cover enough strips, some people with diabetes don't even have a sugar machine. While we complain that the doctor doesn't spend enough time with us at our appointment, there are those that die from this disease before they are even able to see a doctor.

Please take a moment to go to Nicole's blog and read her post about World Diabetes Day and why it is so important that we become involved.

Then go download a banner of your own to put on your blog.