One day last week I was sitting in a local restaurant waiting for my food. I was going to take it back to the office to eat it.
As I was sitting there, my phone rang. It was my mom.
“Hey, where are you?”
I told her.
“Well, Riley’s needle is out. His sugar was 254 when I checked it, so I don’t know how long it might have been out.”
“OK, I’ll be right there.”
I got my food and went to my mom’s (about 10 minutes away) and changed Riley’s needle.
After I was done I told my mom I thought she might need to start changing his needle some during the week. Then, I held my breath. I didn’t know what she was going to say.
All she said was, “OK”.
I explained that I wanted to know that if something happened to me, that Riley would be OK; that someone would be able to do the things he needed done. I didn’t tell her how overloaded I had felt lately, because, well, she’s my mom and I don’t want to dump that on her.
His next site change was Sunday before church. I did that one.
So, today was another site-change day. I wasn’t sure if my mom would remember. I walked in the house and lay the supplies on the table.
I said, “His needle is supposed to be changed today.”
Again, I get, “OK”.
She picked up the supplies and got to work. She got me to check behind her for bubbles in the cartridge. There wasn’t any.
Then, she told me not to prompt her, to let her do what she could on her own. I had to help her a little, but for the most part she did it on her own.
When it came time to fill the cannula, I asked her if she remembered how much to use. “0.3”, she said.
“Wow, I can’t believe you remembered.”
“I didn’t. I looked over my notes this morning before you got here.”
A long time ago, not long after Riley started the pump, I wrote down step-by-step instructions on how to change his needle. My mom had kept them and read over them. She hadn’t forgotten that today was the day she would have to try changing his needle.
And now, my burden feels a little less, the load a little lighter. All because I know that my mom can fill in for me and that she will whenever I need her to.
I love Holden and Riley so much that my heart almost bursts at the thought of them. I would do anything in the world for them. I would lay down my life for them. I wouldn’t even think twice about it.
I forget sometimes that as much as I love Holden and Riley and as much as my heart breaks for them sometimes, my mom feels the same way about me. And, that is an awesome, awesome thing to realize.
And, as much as she loves me, she loves Riley too. And, she would be just as ferocious of a protector for him as me if it came down to it.
And today, when Riley started to cry because his insulin "burned", and she scooped him up and covered him with kisses and told him she was sorry, I was reminded of that.