Wednesday, March 21, 2007

A little help

One day last week I was sitting in a local restaurant waiting for my food. I was going to take it back to the office to eat it.

As I was sitting there, my phone rang. It was my mom.

“Hey, where are you?”

I told her.

“Well, Riley’s needle is out. His sugar was 254 when I checked it, so I don’t know how long it might have been out.”

“OK, I’ll be right there.”

I got my food and went to my mom’s (about 10 minutes away) and changed Riley’s needle.

After I was done I told my mom I thought she might need to start changing his needle some during the week. Then, I held my breath. I didn’t know what she was going to say.

All she said was, “OK”.

I explained that I wanted to know that if something happened to me, that Riley would be OK; that someone would be able to do the things he needed done. I didn’t tell her how overloaded I had felt lately, because, well, she’s my mom and I don’t want to dump that on her.

His next site change was Sunday before church. I did that one.

So, today was another site-change day. I wasn’t sure if my mom would remember. I walked in the house and lay the supplies on the table.

I said, “His needle is supposed to be changed today.”

Again, I get, “OK”.

She picked up the supplies and got to work. She got me to check behind her for bubbles in the cartridge. There wasn’t any.

Then, she told me not to prompt her, to let her do what she could on her own. I had to help her a little, but for the most part she did it on her own.

When it came time to fill the cannula, I asked her if she remembered how much to use. “0.3”, she said.

“Wow, I can’t believe you remembered.”

“I didn’t. I looked over my notes this morning before you got here.”

A long time ago, not long after Riley started the pump, I wrote down step-by-step instructions on how to change his needle. My mom had kept them and read over them. She hadn’t forgotten that today was the day she would have to try changing his needle.

And now, my burden feels a little less, the load a little lighter. All because I know that my mom can fill in for me and that she will whenever I need her to.

I love Holden and Riley so much that my heart almost bursts at the thought of them. I would do anything in the world for them. I would lay down my life for them. I wouldn’t even think twice about it.

I forget sometimes that as much as I love Holden and Riley and as much as my heart breaks for them sometimes, my mom feels the same way about me. And, that is an awesome, awesome thing to realize.

And, as much as she loves me, she loves Riley too. And, she would be just as ferocious of a protector for him as me if it came down to it.

And today, when Riley started to cry because his insulin "burned", and she scooped him up and covered him with kisses and told him she was sorry, I was reminded of that.


George said...

Penny, it sounds like you come from a line of awesome moms! There is nothing like the love a mom (and grandmas) can give!

Shannon said...

Penny!!!!!!!! I'm soooo proud of you!

Just remember that as much as your mom loves you, she probably loves her grandson more....he's a part of you...

Scott K. Johnson said...

Grandmothers are awesome.

I think we forget, or don't fully appreciate at times, all of the challenges they have already masters through raising us.

Minnesota Nice said...

What a wonderful mother you have!

Rachel said...

:) :) :)

Nina said...

i love that story! i love my mom!

julia said...

How sweet. What a great mom you have and what a nice tribute to her. And good for you for letting go a little. I know how nerve-wracking that is to do.

Kris said...

What a wonderful and caring mom you have. A lot of people are scared of doing this for our little ones, even family members. (Heck, my husband hasn't even changed a site yet and it's been 2 months!) So for her to step up and be brave and help you out is just wonderful. Yay for your mom!

Chrissie in Belgium said...

A family - what is it all about? It is always being willing to help; never running awwy from the problem; having someone you can always turn to. That is a good family, and YOU certainly do have a GOOD family. What a great Mom! And you too, you are a great Mom too!

Carey said...

What a great post. You're very lucky.

Lori said...

So true on both counts. As I get ready to send my son off to college in 18 short months, I can't imagine not having him here every day and I worry, worry, worry about how he'll take care of his D without me there to gently (or not so gently) remind him about checking his BG or taking his metformin (he is very insulin resistant so has metformin and about 150 units of insulin per day). And, it was only when I thought about him going away that I realized my mother has seen me move all the way around the US and to Europe (for 3 years) and never complained, but hugged me a little tighter each time she saw me and we shed a few more tears each time I have to leave. It is good that we have our mom's to remind us that we can do this too!

LORI said...

I hope the weight you must feel on your shoulders has lessened, even just a bit. :)

Jamie said...

That's great Penny - you let go ... just a little :) Your post touched a part of me - my Mom and I had a conversation last week on what you wrote about. She keeps telling me to let her do more - she has come to endo appts with us and she knows how to test and dose Danielle. I know she'd do anything for me AND Danielle. What would we do without our families?

Danny said...

My mother-in-law, a wonderful woman in many ways, will not watch my son for any length of time because she doesn't want to deal with his diabetes. She's the only capable relative who lives close to us. What a blessing you have in your mother!

Paige said...

This brought tears to my eyes.