I started this blog to help other parents of kids with Type 1. I'm not sure why I thought I could be of help. I was only 6 weeks into Riley's diagnosis when I started blogging.
I was so new and my emotions were so raw that I was no help to anyone.
I've been blogging a little over two years now. And, maybe I have helped someone out along the way. I hope I have.
But, I do know one person I have helped. Me.
You may have noticed I haven't really blogged about too many diabetes things lately.
Diabetes doesn't affect me like it used to. I don't crumble into a puddle of tears when Riley runs high for several hours. I don't spend every moment watching the clock knowing it's snack or lunch time at school and Riley's teacher might be calling.
Yes there are still the things that nag at me, things like having wonderful sugars during Christmas break only to have them go haywire when he started back to school. Or other people's stupid comments about a disease they know nothing about. Or just the fact that I have to stick him with needles at all. Or the look in his eyes when he's low.
It took me about 26 months to finally be at peace with this disease. I think a lot of that has to do with this blog and the wonderful support I have found by sharing our story with others.
I remember about a year into Riley's diagnosis Dr. M asked "Is diabetes still #1 on your priority list?"
I had to answer yes. It still consumed my thoughts and much of my day. I could not envision a life where diabetes was anything but first place.
If she asked me that question again today I would have to say no. Diabetes is not #1 on my priority list.
You can take that however you want. I take it as a blessing.
Diabetes no longer consumes my thoughts. My thoughts are now consumed with other things like basketball and soccer games, SAT scores and colleges. I finally feel like I can give my full attention to something else other than diabetes.
I know I'll still have days where I curse this disease. I know there are days when it will make me cry. I'm certainly not immune to it.
But, I have finally realized where diabetes fits into my life. I feel like I can focus on actually living again.
For the last two years I haven't been living, I've just been existing.
It's nice to be amongst the living again.