As I was getting ready this morning, Riley was propped up on the couch.
“Mom, it’s almost Easter right?"
“Yes.”
“And that’s Daddy’s birthday too, right?”
“Uh, huh.”
“And, then after Daddy’s birthday, it’s my birthday?”
“Sure is.”
“And, I’ll be five and then I’ll start school.”
“Yeah. Are you excited about going to school?”
“I guess.”
I kept getting ready. I was checking his strips to see if I needed to pack any extra in his bag when he asked, “Mama, who is going to take care of my sugars and my pump when I’m in school?”
I stopped what I was doing and swallowed, hard. I was trying to get rid of the big lump that had suddenly formed in my throat.
“Well, sweetie, you can check you sugar yourself and your teacher is going to learn how to do your pump and count your carbs.”
“And, Holden will be there too, right? And, he can count my carbs and give my insulin.”
“Yes.”
“And, A and S will be there too.” (other kids with D)
“Yes, and also W. She has diabetes too and wears a pump just like yours. And I’ve already talked to her mom and she says W will be able to help out too if you need her. So, you see, you’re going to be OK. You’ll have lots of people looking out for you.”
“OK”, he said. And, with that, he jumped off the couch, grabbed his Star Wars movie and headed out the door.
And, I thought, Why can’t I be like that, just say OK and go on with my life?
I have a lot of time to think when I’m driving from one patient’s house to the next. So, I’ve been thinking about this conversation a lot today.
And, I keep coming back to a little plaque that is on my desk at work. A patient gave it to me. It says: GOD IS GREATER THAN ANY PROBLEM I HAVE.
And, I think that the reason Riley went on and didn’t worry anymore is because he knew his mommy would handle it. Why worry? If mom says it’s going to be OK, then it will.
It’s a beautiful day here today. As I was driving down the road with my sunroof open and “Pour Some Sugar on Me” blasting on the radio (cut me some slack, I grew up in the 80s, OK?), I had tears in my eyes. And, this time, they were happy tears.
It took my four year old to remind me that no matter what, I’m never alone. No matter what, there’s always someone who has my back. And, He promised me He’d never give me anything that He and I couldn’t handle together.
So, for today, I’m not worried. My faith waivers from time to time. Sometimes I forget that I’m never alone and neither is Riley. But, for today, I know everything is going to be OK. Because, we’ll get through it together.
5 comments:
Penny you should also know that people ARE kind. It is that simple. I have had D for 45 years. I have gone through situations where noone around me knew I was diabetic. I asked for help from complete strangers and they helped! People are kind, they want to help and things usually just do work out fine. You can't forget that.
Did you not note the irony of "Pour Some Sugar On Me?" LOL
Brendon makes me feel like everything is OK because of the way he handles it all. It seems he is my rock. And I find it funny because us moms are supposed to be the rock.
If he's OK, then I'm OK too.
Our kids are my heroes, really.
Penny, I know how you feel. My son starts school in a couple of months as well. And I am scared silly about it.
He is so excited - as all kids about to start school should be. And sometimes I have to work so hard to hide my fear from him.
When my son started school, it was at a small rural school up the road. The staff was great, although we did have to educate them on how to take care of Ethan. They learned, and even were willing to give him his shots if necessary (something some of Ethan's own relatives won't do, as I mentioned before).
Now he goes to a slightly larger school, and the principal is leery of allowing a student to have syringes, etc., in the classroom. So everything is kept in the office, which isn't that far away. If Ethan needs to check, he goes to the office, and a classmate goes with him--Ethan resented that at first, but of course if he's low we're not going to let him wander the halls alone. At last week's parent/teacher conference, I saw on the board the list of classroom duties:
Supplies
Line leader
Pledge leader
Ethan's helper
...
I've heard of some schools where you really have to fight for your diabetic child, but we've had good, positive experiences.
AWESOME! AWESOME! AWESOME! Penny, sometimes trusting in God is the only way I can make it through the day. Sometimes my whole being wants to question and worry about everything, but it is only when I let it go that things start to fall into place.
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