Thank you guys for your responses to my last post. They have really helped a lot. Mostly they have made me realize that I'm not alone and that maybe I'm not doing things so badly after all.
It was interesting to see how many of you eat cereal for breakfast. I've always heard that's a big no no (even though that's what Riley eats).
I thought I'd share my answers to the same questions.
1) What do you/your child eat for a typical breakfast? (I’m looking something relatively low carb that would be of interest to a 6 year old and doesn’t require a lot of time to fix. I barely get to work on time as it is.)
Riley used to eat cereal for breakfast. I’d switch the brand every once in a while, but not much. The cereal and milk usually ranged around 25-28 g carbs. The past few mornings he’s eaten mini sausage biscuits (24g total) and he’s been high at lunch and even higher a couple of hours later. I’m wondering if the fat and protein in the sausage is doing this. So, he ate cereal again this morning. I only switched to give him something different, but he complained and wanted cereal anyway.
2) How often do you typically change your basals? (I know this will vary greatly for everyone.)
I’d say it’s at least a couple of times a month. But, I think I should be doing it more often.
3) If you test 1- 1/2 hours after lunch and you’re in the 300s and your pump says you have enough insulin on board to cover the sugar do you override the pump and give insulin anyway? If so, how do you determine how much to give?
It depends on what Riley ate. Sometimes I override (like the last two days at school when he was in the 300s and the pump said not to give him any insulin). And, sometimes I wait and see if it comes down with the insulin he has on board. I have no formula for how much I give.
4) Do you or your child stick to a routine pretty much all of the time? (ex: breakfast , snack, lunch, etc at the same time every day.)
He is in a routine at school. On the weekend he’s not in as much routine. He used to be. He used to eat his meals and snacks at around the same time every day. Now I’ve gotten to the point that if he’s not hungry I don’t make him eat. He ate a much later supper than usual last night because he wasn’t ready to eat yet.
5) Do you count carbs by measuring with measuring cups or do you weigh your food to find out carbs?
I measure every single thing (except at restaurants). I don’t weigh but use measuring cups. Or if it’s chips or something like that I figure out how many carbs per chip and count them out one by one. I really need to invest in a scale.
6) Do you bolus before, during, or after meals?
Some of all. I prefer to bolus before if I know he’s going to eat everything. But, I never bolus until the food is in front of him and he’s getting ready to eat. If we’re at a buffet or something like that I’ll wait until after. Occasionally I’ll do it during because I’ll see that he likes it and is going to eat it all. He gets bloused after at school.
7) Do you log sugars every day?
No. I used to. I used to be obsessive about it. I’ve always said how important it is and I do believe it’s important, but just got out of the habit. It’s one of the things I’m working on for the New Year. I’m starting to use Kevin’s excel logbook again and I’m going to purchase a cord for the Freestyle Lite so I can just download his sugars onto the computer.
8) How long do you wait for a pattern before changing basals? (For example, I look for a three day pattern and make adjustments by that.) If you do this, do you wait 3 more days and if the numbers still aren’t responding adjust basals again? ( I feel like maybe I’m not being aggressive enough with the changes?)
Already said I wait for a three day pattern. I have increased again after another 3 days, but usually wait at least a week before making more changes. I really feel like I’m not being aggressive enough with my changes. I think changing every three days may be what I need to do until his sugars start doing better.
9) How much do you increase basals at one time? Do you do it by a certain percentage or just for one part of the day?
I usually see what part of the day he’s running high and change that first. I’ll change a couple of different basals at a time usually. I don’t change by any certain percentage. I used to increase by 0.025 but have found that’s not doing the trick anymore. So, now I go up by 0.05 at a time now.
10) Do you have different basal rates for different days (for example a weekday basal rate and a weekend basal rate)? If so do you use the weekend rates for long weekends and holidays?
Yes. Riley has a weekday rate and a weekend rate. When he’s not in school he’s on the weekend rate. For some reason at school he needs a big increase in his basal from 11 Am to 2 PM that he doesn’t need when he’s not in school. Riley also has 8 different basal rates in every day.
11) If you /your child is at a birthday party and you/their sugar is high do you/they skip the cake and goodies or eat anyway and bolus for the high too?
I let him eat the cake. There may have been once when I didn’t. I feel guilty about it every time though. I know it’s not what’s best for his body. But, it is probably what’s best for his mind.
12) Do you think I’m completely insane for wanting you to answer all these questions?
No comment. I don’t want to incriminate myself.
Thursday, January 08, 2009
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
Help Me Please I'm at the End of My Rope
I cried about diabetes today for the first time in a long time. It came out of frustration with a disease that I just can’t figure out no matter how hard I try.
Riley’s sickness coupled with Prednisone over the Christmas holidays made it pretty much impossible to test basals like I wanted to. He’s run high, higher, and highest lately and I feel guilty that I’m not doing something right, that I’m not paying enough attention. His last A1C was 7.8, the highest it’s been in a long time. We have another appointment this month and I’m sure it’s still that high or higher.
You parents (and PWD) out there know where I’m coming from. It’s frustrating when your best just isn’t good enough. It makes you question if you’re doing the best at all.
I’m going to ask a few questions and I would love a response from you guys. I know that diabetes is very individualized and that what works for some may not work for others. I would still like to see your answers. They may point me in a direction I haven’t tried yet. I know that some of these questions will not pertain to people that are not on the pump. Just answer whatever questions you can. Please post any answers you have by comment or if you’d rather send them by email that would be fine too. (My email is in my profile.)
1) What do you/your child eat for a typical breakfast? (I’m looking something relatively low carb that would be of interest to a 6 year old and doesn’t require a lot of time to fix. I barely get to work on time as it is.)
2) How often do you typically change your basals? (I know this will vary greatly for everyone.)
3) If you test 1- 1/2 hours after lunch and you’re in the 300s and your pump says you have enough insulin on board to cover the sugar do you override the pump and give insulin anyway? If so, how do you determine how much to give?
4) Do you or your child stick to a routine pretty much all of the time? (ex: breakfast , snack, lunch, etc at the same time every day.)
5) Do you count carbs by measuring with measuring cups or do you weigh your food to find out carbs?
6) Do you bolus before, during, or after meals?
7) Do you log sugars every day?
8) How long do you wait for a pattern before changing basals? (For example, I look for a three day pattern and make adjustments by that.) If you do this, do you wait 3 more days and if the numbers still aren’t responding adjust basals again? ( I feel like maybe I’m not being aggressive enough with the changes?)
9) How much do you increase basals at one time? Do you do it by a certain percentage or just for one part of the day?
10) Do you have different basal rates for different days (for example a weekday basal rate and a weekend basal rate)? If so do you use the weekend rates for long weekends and holidays?
11) If you /your child is at a birthday party and you/their sugar is high do you/they skip the cake and goodies or eat anyway and bolus for the high too?
12) Do you think I’m completely insane for wanting you to answer all these questions?
Thank you in advance for any advice you can give.
Riley’s sickness coupled with Prednisone over the Christmas holidays made it pretty much impossible to test basals like I wanted to. He’s run high, higher, and highest lately and I feel guilty that I’m not doing something right, that I’m not paying enough attention. His last A1C was 7.8, the highest it’s been in a long time. We have another appointment this month and I’m sure it’s still that high or higher.
You parents (and PWD) out there know where I’m coming from. It’s frustrating when your best just isn’t good enough. It makes you question if you’re doing the best at all.
I’m going to ask a few questions and I would love a response from you guys. I know that diabetes is very individualized and that what works for some may not work for others. I would still like to see your answers. They may point me in a direction I haven’t tried yet. I know that some of these questions will not pertain to people that are not on the pump. Just answer whatever questions you can. Please post any answers you have by comment or if you’d rather send them by email that would be fine too. (My email is in my profile.)
1) What do you/your child eat for a typical breakfast? (I’m looking something relatively low carb that would be of interest to a 6 year old and doesn’t require a lot of time to fix. I barely get to work on time as it is.)
2) How often do you typically change your basals? (I know this will vary greatly for everyone.)
3) If you test 1- 1/2 hours after lunch and you’re in the 300s and your pump says you have enough insulin on board to cover the sugar do you override the pump and give insulin anyway? If so, how do you determine how much to give?
4) Do you or your child stick to a routine pretty much all of the time? (ex: breakfast , snack, lunch, etc at the same time every day.)
5) Do you count carbs by measuring with measuring cups or do you weigh your food to find out carbs?
6) Do you bolus before, during, or after meals?
7) Do you log sugars every day?
8) How long do you wait for a pattern before changing basals? (For example, I look for a three day pattern and make adjustments by that.) If you do this, do you wait 3 more days and if the numbers still aren’t responding adjust basals again? ( I feel like maybe I’m not being aggressive enough with the changes?)
9) How much do you increase basals at one time? Do you do it by a certain percentage or just for one part of the day?
10) Do you have different basal rates for different days (for example a weekday basal rate and a weekend basal rate)? If so do you use the weekend rates for long weekends and holidays?
11) If you /your child is at a birthday party and you/their sugar is high do you/they skip the cake and goodies or eat anyway and bolus for the high too?
12) Do you think I’m completely insane for wanting you to answer all these questions?
Thank you in advance for any advice you can give.
Monday, January 05, 2009
Another Meme
I found this meme over at Allison's and couldn't help but participate.
Rules: Bold: Things that you have done.
Italics: Things you would like to do but never have.
Normal print: Things you have never done/would not like to do.
1. Started your own blog: On November 19, 2005, 2 weeks after Riley’s diagnosis
2. Slept under the stars: I went camping once when I was about 8 or 9. I didn’t really enjoy it and don’t plan to try it again.
3. Played in a band: Does Guitar Hero or Rock Band count?
4. Visited Hawaii: This is the #1 travel destination on my list.
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity: I did this several years ago when the town I lived in was ravaged by a flood. My house was fine, but three houses down the water was up to the ceiling. I went home every day after work to piles of soggy mattresses and soggy personal items on the side of the road. It was depressing. My church took up money for those affected by the flood. I gave more than I could afford. A few weeks later a totally unexpected check arrived in the mail for the exact amount I had given. God is good.
7. Been to Disneyland/world – I went to Disney World when I was 13. I would love to go back and take Riley some day. I always wanted to take Holden to0 but never did.
8. Climbed a mountain; sounds like too much work to me
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo (in the shower): I don’t sing in the shower. I save that for my car.
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris- Michael and I were talking about this just last night. I’ve never had any desire to visit Paris.
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea. – I think it would be beautiful.
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch.
15. Adopted a child: I used to have this desire, but I can’t say that I do anymore.
16. Had food poisoning.
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty: I’ve never even been to New York.
18. Grown your own vegetables. : I’ve grown tomatoes before, but that’s it.
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France – Again, no desire to ever visit France.
20. Slept on an overnight train. – I’ve never even been on a train, but would love to experience an overnight train trip.
21. Had a pillow fight.
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill. - I’ve wanted to, I’ve just never done it. Call me too honest for my own good.
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb- I’ve petted one at a petting zoo before.
26. Gone skinny dipping.- I'm afraid my body has passed the point of no return on this one
27. Run a Marathon – Another thing that is just too much work.
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset.
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise – This is what Holden wants for graduation, a family cruise. He’s not getting it though. We just don’t have that kind of cash.
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community – Got stuck behind a horse and buggy too.
36. Taught yourself a new language.
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied. – When I first graduated from college and was still living with my parents while working full-time as a nurse. In other words it was a long, long time ago.
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke: I have a very small desire to do this. I really can’t sing but still think it would be fun. I’d have to be in the right company to do it.
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal in a restaurant
44. Visited Africa: This is number 2 on my list of places to visit. I want to go on an African safari.
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight. – I’ve done this many times. I live on the coast.
46. Been transported in an ambulance: When I was in a wreck when I was 18. I wasn’t really hurt all that badly, but they transported me anyway because my car was totaled.
47. Had your portrait painted.
48. Gone deep sea fishing.
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud. - I have two boys.
54. Gone to a drive-in theater. - I was a little girl but I have faint memories of it.
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business – I just don’t know what kind I want to start.
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching.
63. Gotten flowers for no reason- - thank you Michael
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma- I haven’t done it in a long time. I’m going to try to get back to donating regularly again. It’s such a simple thing to do and you can help save a life.
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guard in London
77. Broken a bone- finger when I was 7 (I smashed it in a car door); hand when I was 18 (playing basketball), and another finger when I was 27 (trying to catch my dog by her collar)
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle- I don’t even want to be on a non-speeding motorcycle.
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person- It must be an awesome sight to behold.
80. Published a book- much like the business , I don’t know what I’d write about
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car- I’ve bought 4 brand new cars. ( 5 if you count Michael’s car which I help make payments on.)
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating- uh, gross
88. Had chickenpox- I was in kindergarten. I don’t remember it.
89. Saved someone’s life.- I’m a nurse. It comes with the job.
90. Sat on a jury- It was kind of interesting.
91. Met someone famous- I guess it depends on who I’m meeting.
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby. – two to be exact
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
Rules: Bold: Things that you have done.
Italics: Things you would like to do but never have.
Normal print: Things you have never done/would not like to do.
1. Started your own blog: On November 19, 2005, 2 weeks after Riley’s diagnosis
2. Slept under the stars: I went camping once when I was about 8 or 9. I didn’t really enjoy it and don’t plan to try it again.
3. Played in a band: Does Guitar Hero or Rock Band count?
4. Visited Hawaii: This is the #1 travel destination on my list.
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity: I did this several years ago when the town I lived in was ravaged by a flood. My house was fine, but three houses down the water was up to the ceiling. I went home every day after work to piles of soggy mattresses and soggy personal items on the side of the road. It was depressing. My church took up money for those affected by the flood. I gave more than I could afford. A few weeks later a totally unexpected check arrived in the mail for the exact amount I had given. God is good.
7. Been to Disneyland/world – I went to Disney World when I was 13. I would love to go back and take Riley some day. I always wanted to take Holden to0 but never did.
8. Climbed a mountain; sounds like too much work to me
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo (in the shower): I don’t sing in the shower. I save that for my car.
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris- Michael and I were talking about this just last night. I’ve never had any desire to visit Paris.
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea. – I think it would be beautiful.
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch.
15. Adopted a child: I used to have this desire, but I can’t say that I do anymore.
16. Had food poisoning.
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty: I’ve never even been to New York.
18. Grown your own vegetables. : I’ve grown tomatoes before, but that’s it.
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France – Again, no desire to ever visit France.
20. Slept on an overnight train. – I’ve never even been on a train, but would love to experience an overnight train trip.
21. Had a pillow fight.
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill. - I’ve wanted to, I’ve just never done it. Call me too honest for my own good.
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb- I’ve petted one at a petting zoo before.
26. Gone skinny dipping.- I'm afraid my body has passed the point of no return on this one
27. Run a Marathon – Another thing that is just too much work.
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset.
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise – This is what Holden wants for graduation, a family cruise. He’s not getting it though. We just don’t have that kind of cash.
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community – Got stuck behind a horse and buggy too.
36. Taught yourself a new language.
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied. – When I first graduated from college and was still living with my parents while working full-time as a nurse. In other words it was a long, long time ago.
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke: I have a very small desire to do this. I really can’t sing but still think it would be fun. I’d have to be in the right company to do it.
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal in a restaurant
44. Visited Africa: This is number 2 on my list of places to visit. I want to go on an African safari.
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight. – I’ve done this many times. I live on the coast.
46. Been transported in an ambulance: When I was in a wreck when I was 18. I wasn’t really hurt all that badly, but they transported me anyway because my car was totaled.
47. Had your portrait painted.
48. Gone deep sea fishing.
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud. - I have two boys.
54. Gone to a drive-in theater. - I was a little girl but I have faint memories of it.
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business – I just don’t know what kind I want to start.
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching.
63. Gotten flowers for no reason- - thank you Michael
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma- I haven’t done it in a long time. I’m going to try to get back to donating regularly again. It’s such a simple thing to do and you can help save a life.
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guard in London
77. Broken a bone- finger when I was 7 (I smashed it in a car door); hand when I was 18 (playing basketball), and another finger when I was 27 (trying to catch my dog by her collar)
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle- I don’t even want to be on a non-speeding motorcycle.
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person- It must be an awesome sight to behold.
80. Published a book- much like the business , I don’t know what I’d write about
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car- I’ve bought 4 brand new cars. ( 5 if you count Michael’s car which I help make payments on.)
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating- uh, gross
88. Had chickenpox- I was in kindergarten. I don’t remember it.
89. Saved someone’s life.- I’m a nurse. It comes with the job.
90. Sat on a jury- It was kind of interesting.
91. Met someone famous- I guess it depends on who I’m meeting.
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby. – two to be exact
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
Thursday, January 01, 2009
Year in Review
January:
One of Holden's friends who he'd known almost his whole life got into a wreck and was unconscious for a while. He is also one of the youth at church. He turned out to be OK after a while. It took him a few days to completely wake up and he couldn't play basketball for several weeks due to a concussion. I'm so thankful that he turned out to be OK. He was 17 at the time.
Holden played 9 basketball games.
I had my yearly physical. I was found to have some "female problems" and would have to start taking monthly shots. I was not pleased.
February:
Holden played four more basketball games.
Holden turned 17. We celebrated a few days later with lasagna ( A rare treat at our house due to what it does to Riley's sugars.)
We had a Valentine's super at church. The men cooked for the women.
Riley went on a field trip to see a play. He rode a bus there. The teacher called me on the way to inform me that Riley's sugar was 42.
My Granny celebrated a birthday.
I had my first injection that I mentioned before. I didn't have any side effects for a while.
I attended a Teddy Bear Fair with Riley. It was another school field trip. I went because after the fair they went out to eat pizza. I knew I needed to be there to bolus for this very tricky food.
A girl that I had known since she was born was killed in a wreck. She was 21 years old. Her sister and I were the same age and always rode to school together growing up. When Holden started school she and he would ride together. Her mom and I took turns taking them and picking them up. I still think about her mother often. I know the holidays were especially hard for her.
Riley got the flu. Yes, he'd had his flu shot, but it didn't work. I was terrified that he'd end up in DKA but it turns out he didn't do so badly. He did miss almost a whole week of school though. The rest of us took pills to hopefully keep from getting the flu ourselves.
March:
Riley had been pumping for 2 years.
I got my second injection. By now I was having some side effects. (hot flashes)
Michael and I celebrated our 8th wedding anniversary. I finally gave in and took a trip away from Riley. Although we were really only 2 hours away it was still hard to leave. It was the longest I'd been away from Riley and the farthest I'd been away from him since his diagnosis 2 1/2 years earlier. Michael and I had a great time and it was nice to get away for a little while.
I was lunch bunch mom at Riley's school. I showed up and monitored the kids while the teacher got a break. Not only did she get to eat her meal in quiet she also didn't have to worry about carbs and insulin for a change.
I attended a party of my cousin's son.
Riley started soccer practice. He had one game in March.
We had our spring revival at church.
I helped host a St. Patrick's Day party at Riley's school.
I attended Riley's Easter Egg Hunt at school.
Riley saw the endo. His A1C was 7.2.
We attended another Easter Egg Hunt at church.
Holden celebrated his re-birthday (the day he became a Christian.)
We ate Easter dinner at my Granny's.
Riley had blood work done to check for celiac disease.
April:
Riley had 8 soccer games.
Riley went to the dentist.
I got a kidney stone. I'd never had them before. It was very painful, but not as painful as child birth as I'd heard other people say.
I got another injection and had another ultra sound for my problems. The side effects were worse and it turns out the injections didn't actually fix the problem.
Michael had a birthday.
I attended another field trip with Riley to see the play Sleeping Beauty.
Holden attended the prom. Since he was a junior his class was in charge of holding the prom. Michael and I chaperoned. Michael was a valet. I think right about that time was when I started thinking about Holden becoming a senior and leaving and going off to college.
Michael started playing in an adult soccer league. Holden later started playing also.
Riley went to the doctor for a sinus infection.
Riley's school had their annual Spring Festival. He sang and then played some games.
Riley started T-ball practice.
May:
Riley had 4 T-ball games.
The family went to a local children's home to help clean up the grounds.
I helped paint the backdrop for Riley's kindergarten play. The play was held the next week. Riley was an adorable panda bear.
I provided a dessert for the teachers at Riley's school to show appreciation for all they do.
We had a mother's day supper at church. And, I cooked a mother's day supper for my mom.
My little man turned 6. We celebrated by going to a Japanese steakhouse. It's his favorite place to eat.
I helped decorate for Holden's athletic banquet which was held the next day. I was once again confronted with how old he's getting.
I once again helped out Riley's teacher and helped with lunch.
I attended Riley's end of the year party at our local beach club.
I quit my job at home health.
We attended Holden's academic banquet.
Riley went to the doctor twice. He was seen 3 times in 6 weeks for a sinus infection. The last round of antibiotics finally cleared it up.
We attended a birthday party for my cousin's little girl.
June:
I attended baccalaureate service at Holden's school. He was a marshal.
I attended graduation at Holden's school and cried thinking about next year.
I attended the graduation ceremony for Holden's friend who had gotten in the wreck in January.
I had my last day at my job that I had been at for 10 years. I cried all the way home.
I started my school nurse job.
Michael and I attended a wedding for one of his co-workers.
I helped with my church's Bible School.
I sold my piano that was given to me as a Christmas present when I was 9 years old. It was taking up too much room and we needed the money.
July:
My mom and dad celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary.
I had the whole month off because school nurses don't work in the summer!!
I had another ultra sound. It turns out the problem I have needs surgery. But, not immediate surgery. The doctor said it was up to me when I wanted it. He told me when I got tired of the pain to come in and we'd schedule it. (I haven't scheduled it yet.)
Riley went to the endo again. His A1C was 7.4.
I helped out with Bible School again.
My family and I attended a mission trip. We spent time at a couple of children's home as well as a nursing home.
We spent a day at the beach. Riley rode on a ferry for the first time.
August:
I took my certification test to become a school nurse.
I started back at my school nurse job.
My dad had surgery for a growth that was in his throat. The doctor informed us that he would send off a sample but he was pretty sure it was cancer.
Michael and I went and helped at a clean up day at our church.
I helped with Bible School again.
We took another weekend trip to the beach.
The kids went back to school. Holden was now officially a senior.
September:
My dad went to the doctor and got his test results: Stage 3 cancer of the throat. He was told he'd have to undergo radiation for 5-6 weeks.
Riley joined church and became a Christian.
A week later we rushed Riley to the emergency room because he was having trouble breathing. He was given an inhaler and placed on Prednisone which wreaked havoc on his sugars.
I found out that I passed my school nurse certification exam!! ( It was a HUGE relief.)
My daddy celebrated his 59th birthday. He got his markings for radiation on the same day.
Daddy found out that in addition to radiation he would be getting chemo also.
Daddy started his radiation and chemo.
Riley started soccer practice and games again.
We went back to the local children's home to help them clean up their grounds again.
We attended the local county fair.
Riley was baptised.
October:
Riley continued with soccer practice and games.
Holden took the SAT.
Riley's 3 year diabetes anniversary.
We took Holden to tour the college of his choice (almost 4 hours away from home).
We went to fall revival at our church.
We attended Fall Festival at Riley's school. I worked a booth helping kids paint pumpkins.
Holden started basketball practice.
Riley had another endo. appointment. His A1C was 7.8 (the highest it had been in a long time)
My daddy continued with chemo and radiation. It was making him sick. He couldn't eat. He couldn't talk. His hair was falling out. On top of all that, he got pneumonia and spent a week in the hospital.
We took Riley to Trunk or Treat at our church.
November:
Daddy finished up with his radiation and chemo!!
Michael and I went to a work/clean-up day at the kid's school.
Riley continued with soccer.
Holden started playing basketball. He dislocated his knee cap in the first game and had to sit out a couple of games.
Holden applied to college.
I attended a cousin's wedding.
I attended the funeral of my cousin's husband's dad.
I celebrated Thanksgiving at my Granny's house.
December:
Holden's basketball games continued.
Holden was accepted to the college of his choice. (Did I mention that it's almost 4 hours away?)
My mom celebrated her 58th birthday.
Riley attended 4 birthday parties in 1 week.
We took Riley to a local Christmas parade.
We attended a church Christmas supper as well as the church Christmas play.
Riley was plagued with wheezing again and was once again placed on Prednisone just in time for Christmas.
Michael and I went Christmas shopping.
I attended Riley's school Christmas party.
The kids and Michael and I all got out of school for 2 weeks.
My dad was declared cancer-free!!!!
We had a wonderful and blessed Christmas.
Wow. Looking back at all that I realize why I'm so tired all the time.
I wish each of you a very happy new year!!!!
One of Holden's friends who he'd known almost his whole life got into a wreck and was unconscious for a while. He is also one of the youth at church. He turned out to be OK after a while. It took him a few days to completely wake up and he couldn't play basketball for several weeks due to a concussion. I'm so thankful that he turned out to be OK. He was 17 at the time.
Holden played 9 basketball games.
I had my yearly physical. I was found to have some "female problems" and would have to start taking monthly shots. I was not pleased.
February:
Holden played four more basketball games.
Holden turned 17. We celebrated a few days later with lasagna ( A rare treat at our house due to what it does to Riley's sugars.)
We had a Valentine's super at church. The men cooked for the women.
Riley went on a field trip to see a play. He rode a bus there. The teacher called me on the way to inform me that Riley's sugar was 42.
My Granny celebrated a birthday.
I had my first injection that I mentioned before. I didn't have any side effects for a while.
I attended a Teddy Bear Fair with Riley. It was another school field trip. I went because after the fair they went out to eat pizza. I knew I needed to be there to bolus for this very tricky food.
A girl that I had known since she was born was killed in a wreck. She was 21 years old. Her sister and I were the same age and always rode to school together growing up. When Holden started school she and he would ride together. Her mom and I took turns taking them and picking them up. I still think about her mother often. I know the holidays were especially hard for her.
Riley got the flu. Yes, he'd had his flu shot, but it didn't work. I was terrified that he'd end up in DKA but it turns out he didn't do so badly. He did miss almost a whole week of school though. The rest of us took pills to hopefully keep from getting the flu ourselves.
March:
Riley had been pumping for 2 years.
I got my second injection. By now I was having some side effects. (hot flashes)
Michael and I celebrated our 8th wedding anniversary. I finally gave in and took a trip away from Riley. Although we were really only 2 hours away it was still hard to leave. It was the longest I'd been away from Riley and the farthest I'd been away from him since his diagnosis 2 1/2 years earlier. Michael and I had a great time and it was nice to get away for a little while.
I was lunch bunch mom at Riley's school. I showed up and monitored the kids while the teacher got a break. Not only did she get to eat her meal in quiet she also didn't have to worry about carbs and insulin for a change.
I attended a party of my cousin's son.
Riley started soccer practice. He had one game in March.
We had our spring revival at church.
I helped host a St. Patrick's Day party at Riley's school.
I attended Riley's Easter Egg Hunt at school.
Riley saw the endo. His A1C was 7.2.
We attended another Easter Egg Hunt at church.
Holden celebrated his re-birthday (the day he became a Christian.)
We ate Easter dinner at my Granny's.
Riley had blood work done to check for celiac disease.
April:
Riley had 8 soccer games.
Riley went to the dentist.
I got a kidney stone. I'd never had them before. It was very painful, but not as painful as child birth as I'd heard other people say.
I got another injection and had another ultra sound for my problems. The side effects were worse and it turns out the injections didn't actually fix the problem.
Michael had a birthday.
I attended another field trip with Riley to see the play Sleeping Beauty.
Holden attended the prom. Since he was a junior his class was in charge of holding the prom. Michael and I chaperoned. Michael was a valet. I think right about that time was when I started thinking about Holden becoming a senior and leaving and going off to college.
Michael started playing in an adult soccer league. Holden later started playing also.
Riley went to the doctor for a sinus infection.
Riley's school had their annual Spring Festival. He sang and then played some games.
Riley started T-ball practice.
May:
Riley had 4 T-ball games.
The family went to a local children's home to help clean up the grounds.
I helped paint the backdrop for Riley's kindergarten play. The play was held the next week. Riley was an adorable panda bear.
I provided a dessert for the teachers at Riley's school to show appreciation for all they do.
We had a mother's day supper at church. And, I cooked a mother's day supper for my mom.
My little man turned 6. We celebrated by going to a Japanese steakhouse. It's his favorite place to eat.
I helped decorate for Holden's athletic banquet which was held the next day. I was once again confronted with how old he's getting.
I once again helped out Riley's teacher and helped with lunch.
I attended Riley's end of the year party at our local beach club.
I quit my job at home health.
We attended Holden's academic banquet.
Riley went to the doctor twice. He was seen 3 times in 6 weeks for a sinus infection. The last round of antibiotics finally cleared it up.
We attended a birthday party for my cousin's little girl.
June:
I attended baccalaureate service at Holden's school. He was a marshal.
I attended graduation at Holden's school and cried thinking about next year.
I attended the graduation ceremony for Holden's friend who had gotten in the wreck in January.
I had my last day at my job that I had been at for 10 years. I cried all the way home.
I started my school nurse job.
Michael and I attended a wedding for one of his co-workers.
I helped with my church's Bible School.
I sold my piano that was given to me as a Christmas present when I was 9 years old. It was taking up too much room and we needed the money.
July:
My mom and dad celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary.
I had the whole month off because school nurses don't work in the summer!!
I had another ultra sound. It turns out the problem I have needs surgery. But, not immediate surgery. The doctor said it was up to me when I wanted it. He told me when I got tired of the pain to come in and we'd schedule it. (I haven't scheduled it yet.)
Riley went to the endo again. His A1C was 7.4.
I helped out with Bible School again.
My family and I attended a mission trip. We spent time at a couple of children's home as well as a nursing home.
We spent a day at the beach. Riley rode on a ferry for the first time.
August:
I took my certification test to become a school nurse.
I started back at my school nurse job.
My dad had surgery for a growth that was in his throat. The doctor informed us that he would send off a sample but he was pretty sure it was cancer.
Michael and I went and helped at a clean up day at our church.
I helped with Bible School again.
We took another weekend trip to the beach.
The kids went back to school. Holden was now officially a senior.
September:
My dad went to the doctor and got his test results: Stage 3 cancer of the throat. He was told he'd have to undergo radiation for 5-6 weeks.
Riley joined church and became a Christian.
A week later we rushed Riley to the emergency room because he was having trouble breathing. He was given an inhaler and placed on Prednisone which wreaked havoc on his sugars.
I found out that I passed my school nurse certification exam!! ( It was a HUGE relief.)
My daddy celebrated his 59th birthday. He got his markings for radiation on the same day.
Daddy found out that in addition to radiation he would be getting chemo also.
Daddy started his radiation and chemo.
Riley started soccer practice and games again.
We went back to the local children's home to help them clean up their grounds again.
We attended the local county fair.
Riley was baptised.
October:
Riley continued with soccer practice and games.
Holden took the SAT.
Riley's 3 year diabetes anniversary.
We took Holden to tour the college of his choice (almost 4 hours away from home).
We went to fall revival at our church.
We attended Fall Festival at Riley's school. I worked a booth helping kids paint pumpkins.
Holden started basketball practice.
Riley had another endo. appointment. His A1C was 7.8 (the highest it had been in a long time)
My daddy continued with chemo and radiation. It was making him sick. He couldn't eat. He couldn't talk. His hair was falling out. On top of all that, he got pneumonia and spent a week in the hospital.
We took Riley to Trunk or Treat at our church.
November:
Daddy finished up with his radiation and chemo!!
Michael and I went to a work/clean-up day at the kid's school.
Riley continued with soccer.
Holden started playing basketball. He dislocated his knee cap in the first game and had to sit out a couple of games.
Holden applied to college.
I attended a cousin's wedding.
I attended the funeral of my cousin's husband's dad.
I celebrated Thanksgiving at my Granny's house.
December:
Holden's basketball games continued.
Holden was accepted to the college of his choice. (Did I mention that it's almost 4 hours away?)
My mom celebrated her 58th birthday.
Riley attended 4 birthday parties in 1 week.
We took Riley to a local Christmas parade.
We attended a church Christmas supper as well as the church Christmas play.
Riley was plagued with wheezing again and was once again placed on Prednisone just in time for Christmas.
Michael and I went Christmas shopping.
I attended Riley's school Christmas party.
The kids and Michael and I all got out of school for 2 weeks.
My dad was declared cancer-free!!!!
We had a wonderful and blessed Christmas.
Wow. Looking back at all that I realize why I'm so tired all the time.
I wish each of you a very happy new year!!!!
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Year End Meme
I'll post about Christmas later. (It was great, by the way.)
I want to end this year blogging like I have the last two years. I will post a sentence from one definitive post from each month.
January: Nice to Be Amongst the Living
"I started this blog to help other parents of kids with Type 1."
February: It Makes Me Put My Hand Over My Heart
"While standing for The National Anthem at one of Holden's basketball games last week I noticed that nearly every one was standing with their hand over their heart."
March: It's the (Seemingly) Little Things
"A lot of times with life it's not the big events or the times in your life that get the most attention that have the most significance."
April: Diabetes Burnout: What Do You Do?
"Everybody gets burned out sometimes."
May: Just Imagine
"It was Riley's bedtime."
June: And I'm Off...
"I'm officially off work for the summer."
July: How Much Life Has Changed Since Diagnosis
"Every couple of months or so we get a newsletter in the mail from the medical center where we got pump training."
August: Amen
"Riley's overheard prayer:"Dear God, Grandaddy is a good grandaddy."
September: Running At 120%
"Sunday night Riley had a stuffy nose."
October: Three Years Chained
"Three years ago today was the worst day of my entire life."
November: Hope, Belief, Pain, and Faith
"Today marks 3 years that I have been blogging."
December: Head or Heart (or Kidneys or Eyes Or...)
"Every parent wants what’s best for their child."
I want to end this year blogging like I have the last two years. I will post a sentence from one definitive post from each month.
January: Nice to Be Amongst the Living
"I started this blog to help other parents of kids with Type 1."
February: It Makes Me Put My Hand Over My Heart
"While standing for The National Anthem at one of Holden's basketball games last week I noticed that nearly every one was standing with their hand over their heart."
March: It's the (Seemingly) Little Things
"A lot of times with life it's not the big events or the times in your life that get the most attention that have the most significance."
April: Diabetes Burnout: What Do You Do?
"Everybody gets burned out sometimes."
May: Just Imagine
"It was Riley's bedtime."
June: And I'm Off...
"I'm officially off work for the summer."
July: How Much Life Has Changed Since Diagnosis
"Every couple of months or so we get a newsletter in the mail from the medical center where we got pump training."
August: Amen
"Riley's overheard prayer:"Dear God, Grandaddy is a good grandaddy."
September: Running At 120%
"Sunday night Riley had a stuffy nose."
October: Three Years Chained
"Three years ago today was the worst day of my entire life."
November: Hope, Belief, Pain, and Faith
"Today marks 3 years that I have been blogging."
December: Head or Heart (or Kidneys or Eyes Or...)
"Every parent wants what’s best for their child."
Monday, December 22, 2008
It Wasn't a One Time Thing
Back in September Riley ended up in the ER because he was having trouble breathing. He did a round of antibiotics and a round of Prednisone and used an inhaler as needed. After a few days he was better. The doctors didn't really have an explanation for what had happened. All they would say is "maybe it's a one time thing". It had all started with a stuffy nose.
Friday, Riley started with a stuffy nose again. By Sunday afternoon he was wheezing.
I gave him his inhaler and it helped to clear him up. But, after a few hours he was wheezing again. He needed his inhaler about every four hours, including twice in the middle of the night.
I took him to the doctor today. He's on Prednisone again (oh, joy). The doctor said I can give the inhaler every 2 hours if needed (and I've had to do that a few times). And, that if I have to continue to give it every 2 hours that I need to call back and they'll put Riley in the hospital.
As I write this Riley is jumping up and down on his mattress in the living room. (We are doing our annual tradition of sleeping in the living room under the Christmas tree lights.) He is wheezing and coughing (he had his inhaler less than an hour ago). When I tell him to calm down so he can breathe better he tells me he's trying to bring his sugar down.
45 minutes ago it was 375. I've increased his basal 120% like last time he was on Prednisone. I'm hoping it will work.
I'm also hoping that this Prednisone does it's job and I can stop using the inhaler so often and then stop using it at all.
This time instead of "maybe it's just a one time thing" I heard, "maybe he'll grow out of it".
I hope he "grows out of it" before Christmas.
Friday, Riley started with a stuffy nose again. By Sunday afternoon he was wheezing.
I gave him his inhaler and it helped to clear him up. But, after a few hours he was wheezing again. He needed his inhaler about every four hours, including twice in the middle of the night.
I took him to the doctor today. He's on Prednisone again (oh, joy). The doctor said I can give the inhaler every 2 hours if needed (and I've had to do that a few times). And, that if I have to continue to give it every 2 hours that I need to call back and they'll put Riley in the hospital.
As I write this Riley is jumping up and down on his mattress in the living room. (We are doing our annual tradition of sleeping in the living room under the Christmas tree lights.) He is wheezing and coughing (he had his inhaler less than an hour ago). When I tell him to calm down so he can breathe better he tells me he's trying to bring his sugar down.
45 minutes ago it was 375. I've increased his basal 120% like last time he was on Prednisone. I'm hoping it will work.
I'm also hoping that this Prednisone does it's job and I can stop using the inhaler so often and then stop using it at all.
This time instead of "maybe it's just a one time thing" I heard, "maybe he'll grow out of it".
I hope he "grows out of it" before Christmas.
Monday, December 15, 2008
1.9%
As is the usual with this blog I have poured out my pain and dispair in the last couple of posts. I started this blog to be a help to other parents going through the same thing. As I've said before, it became more of a help to me.
When I'm having a bad day D-wise I come here and vent. I talk about the highs and the lows. I speak of the pain this disease has caused me as well as my fears. Every once in a while you'll get an uplifting post from me, but not very often.
It's kind of like when you get good service at a restaurant, you appreciate it, but you don't say much about it. But, if you go to a restaurant and get horrible service you tell everyone you know.
When I'm getting horrible service with diabetes I write about it here.
98% of the time diabetes is way far in the back ground. It gets the time and attention it needs and deserves and then I move on. Occasionally, I get in a rut and the other 2% comes out in my posts.
Right now I'm very happy. For one, this is the last week of school before Christmas break. Since I am a school nurse now my whole family is pretty much on the same schedule. My kids, Michael, and I all get out 1/2 a day on Friday. Then, we don't have to go back to school until January 5th. I can't even convey in this post the excitement that brings to me.
Earlier today the teacher next door and I actually counted up the seconds we have left before Christmas break. It doesn't sound as long when you put it in seconds.
I can't wait to be at home for a couple of weeks with my family.
I'm somewhat happy diabetes-wise too. We've had a rough couple of months. Riley's sugars have been high and it seemed that no matter what I did they would stay that way. Now, he's starting to even out some. It has taken several weeks of increasing his basal to finally get to where we are now. I guess I should have been a little more aggressive with the increases, but I was trying to avoid lows too.
Riley is so excited about Christmas. I love to see the smile on his face and the glimmer in his eye every time we move the candy cane on Santa's beard to count down the days until Christmas.
Every day is exciting to him. I am trying to catch a little bit of the excitement myself, trying to see the world through his eyes.
I'm trying to let the little things go. I'm trying to focus on the good and pray my way through the bad. I'm learning to let the laundry pile up (didn't take too much persuasion for that) and instead spend time with my kids.
As far as Riley is concerned diabetes is in the background 99.9% of the time. I'm trying to learn from him how to get my other 1.9%
When I'm having a bad day D-wise I come here and vent. I talk about the highs and the lows. I speak of the pain this disease has caused me as well as my fears. Every once in a while you'll get an uplifting post from me, but not very often.
It's kind of like when you get good service at a restaurant, you appreciate it, but you don't say much about it. But, if you go to a restaurant and get horrible service you tell everyone you know.
When I'm getting horrible service with diabetes I write about it here.
98% of the time diabetes is way far in the back ground. It gets the time and attention it needs and deserves and then I move on. Occasionally, I get in a rut and the other 2% comes out in my posts.
Right now I'm very happy. For one, this is the last week of school before Christmas break. Since I am a school nurse now my whole family is pretty much on the same schedule. My kids, Michael, and I all get out 1/2 a day on Friday. Then, we don't have to go back to school until January 5th. I can't even convey in this post the excitement that brings to me.
Earlier today the teacher next door and I actually counted up the seconds we have left before Christmas break. It doesn't sound as long when you put it in seconds.
I can't wait to be at home for a couple of weeks with my family.
I'm somewhat happy diabetes-wise too. We've had a rough couple of months. Riley's sugars have been high and it seemed that no matter what I did they would stay that way. Now, he's starting to even out some. It has taken several weeks of increasing his basal to finally get to where we are now. I guess I should have been a little more aggressive with the increases, but I was trying to avoid lows too.
Riley is so excited about Christmas. I love to see the smile on his face and the glimmer in his eye every time we move the candy cane on Santa's beard to count down the days until Christmas.
Every day is exciting to him. I am trying to catch a little bit of the excitement myself, trying to see the world through his eyes.
I'm trying to let the little things go. I'm trying to focus on the good and pray my way through the bad. I'm learning to let the laundry pile up (didn't take too much persuasion for that) and instead spend time with my kids.
As far as Riley is concerned diabetes is in the background 99.9% of the time. I'm trying to learn from him how to get my other 1.9%
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Fear
This post was inspired by a post written by George. He spoke about how he worries about having his leg amputated and how he worries he might have a heart attack in his sleep.
Hearing his fears brought mine bubbling up to the surface.
My biggest fear is having one of my children die before me. I pray almost every single day that God does not let either one of my children die before I do. I can't really think of anything worse that could happen to a parent.
Holden is seventeen. My fear for him stems from him being out on the road. I pray for his safety several times a day. Every time I hear his car pull into the driveway, music blaring, I say a silent prayer of thanks.
A parent worries about all of their children. We worry that they'll be safe and we worry that we're not screwing them up too badly.
But, when a chronic disease is brought into the mix, worry and fear take on a whole new dimension.
Early on in Riley's diagnosis I was fearful of a lot of things. I worried about him whenever he was not with me. I worried that he'd go low and no one would know what to do. I worried that I wasn't taking adequate care of him, that I wasn't capable of doing what was needed for him.
I didn't go to the movies for over 2 years after his diagnosis because I was afraid that my cell phone wouldn't pick up in the movie theater and that my mom might need me to ask me something about Riley's sugars and she wouldn't be able to reach me.
Those fears are still there to an extent, but not to the extent that they used to be.
I cried the whole summer before Riley started kindergarten. But, once he got there I realized that he was doing just fine. His teacher did an excellent job taking care of him. I learned to relax a little. I learned that I was not the only one who could take care of Riley and his diabetes.
I relaxed enough to go to the movies. Michael and I even went away for a weekend 2 1/2 years after Riley's diagnosis. I wouldn't do it earlier. I worried about being too far away from him. I worried that he would need me and I wouldn't be readily available.
Those fears have subsided a bit. But, there are still fears that have been there since day one and that are still there. I can't make them go away.
I realize that all of this may seem silly to many of you. You may call them irrational fears. Even if they are irrational, they are still my fears. They don't haunt my every waking moment. But, irrational or not, they are there.
My husband and I check Riley's sugar at least 2 times during the night while he's sleeping. Still, the first thing I do every morning when I get up is walk to Riley's bedroom door and listen for the sound of him breathing. If I can't hear him breathing I go into his room and place my hand on his chest. Once I find him still alive I take a deep breath and say a silent prayer of thanks.
Riley doesn't know I do this. I don't think Michael even knows I do this. But, I've done it every single morning for the last 3+ years. I learned of Dead in Bed Syndrome early on in Riley's diagnosis. And, try as I might, I can't get the thought of the horror of waking up in the morning to find your child dead out of my mind.
I guess maybe some parents of non-D kids might be able to relate to that a little. I think a lot of parents worry about SIDS when their children are babies. But, once they reach their first birthday that fear usually subsides.
I believe I'll have this fear forever.
I also worry about complications. Like I said, it's not an ever-present kind of thing. But, it's a fear that enters in and out of my thoughts, particularly when Riley's sugars have been high for a few days.
When I was doing research for Walk of Hope I came across this statistic: "By 20 years after diagnosis most people with Type 1 diabetes will have some form of complication".
It has haunted me ever since. Riley was diagnosed when he was 3. I can't bear the thought of my son having some complication from this disease by the time he's 23.
Here is another disturbing figure: 24% of type 1 diabetics will develop retinopathy (damage to the nerves in the eye caused by high blood sugars) after 5 years, almost 60% after 10 years and 100% after 20 years.
Again, when Riley's 23....
23, just getting out of college, just really starting life....
Fear can be crippling. But, it can also be motivating.
Sometimes the fear cripples me, sometimes it wins. Sometimes I cry myself to sleep or lock myself in the bathroom and sob because I"m overwhelmed with it all.
But, most of the time my fear motivates me. It motivates me to hold onto my sons a little tighter. It motivates me to log Riley's sugars. It motivates me to teach him a little at a time so that he can one day do all of this on his own.
But, most of all, it motivates me to help find a cure. The only way to get rid of these fears is to get rid of this disease.
That's exactly what I'm trying to do.
(**edit: Go read this post to hear just how real complications can be. While there take time to give Kate and Lance a hug or two.)
Hearing his fears brought mine bubbling up to the surface.
My biggest fear is having one of my children die before me. I pray almost every single day that God does not let either one of my children die before I do. I can't really think of anything worse that could happen to a parent.
Holden is seventeen. My fear for him stems from him being out on the road. I pray for his safety several times a day. Every time I hear his car pull into the driveway, music blaring, I say a silent prayer of thanks.
A parent worries about all of their children. We worry that they'll be safe and we worry that we're not screwing them up too badly.
But, when a chronic disease is brought into the mix, worry and fear take on a whole new dimension.
Early on in Riley's diagnosis I was fearful of a lot of things. I worried about him whenever he was not with me. I worried that he'd go low and no one would know what to do. I worried that I wasn't taking adequate care of him, that I wasn't capable of doing what was needed for him.
I didn't go to the movies for over 2 years after his diagnosis because I was afraid that my cell phone wouldn't pick up in the movie theater and that my mom might need me to ask me something about Riley's sugars and she wouldn't be able to reach me.
Those fears are still there to an extent, but not to the extent that they used to be.
I cried the whole summer before Riley started kindergarten. But, once he got there I realized that he was doing just fine. His teacher did an excellent job taking care of him. I learned to relax a little. I learned that I was not the only one who could take care of Riley and his diabetes.
I relaxed enough to go to the movies. Michael and I even went away for a weekend 2 1/2 years after Riley's diagnosis. I wouldn't do it earlier. I worried about being too far away from him. I worried that he would need me and I wouldn't be readily available.
Those fears have subsided a bit. But, there are still fears that have been there since day one and that are still there. I can't make them go away.
I realize that all of this may seem silly to many of you. You may call them irrational fears. Even if they are irrational, they are still my fears. They don't haunt my every waking moment. But, irrational or not, they are there.
My husband and I check Riley's sugar at least 2 times during the night while he's sleeping. Still, the first thing I do every morning when I get up is walk to Riley's bedroom door and listen for the sound of him breathing. If I can't hear him breathing I go into his room and place my hand on his chest. Once I find him still alive I take a deep breath and say a silent prayer of thanks.
Riley doesn't know I do this. I don't think Michael even knows I do this. But, I've done it every single morning for the last 3+ years. I learned of Dead in Bed Syndrome early on in Riley's diagnosis. And, try as I might, I can't get the thought of the horror of waking up in the morning to find your child dead out of my mind.
I guess maybe some parents of non-D kids might be able to relate to that a little. I think a lot of parents worry about SIDS when their children are babies. But, once they reach their first birthday that fear usually subsides.
I believe I'll have this fear forever.
I also worry about complications. Like I said, it's not an ever-present kind of thing. But, it's a fear that enters in and out of my thoughts, particularly when Riley's sugars have been high for a few days.
When I was doing research for Walk of Hope I came across this statistic: "By 20 years after diagnosis most people with Type 1 diabetes will have some form of complication".
It has haunted me ever since. Riley was diagnosed when he was 3. I can't bear the thought of my son having some complication from this disease by the time he's 23.
Here is another disturbing figure: 24% of type 1 diabetics will develop retinopathy (damage to the nerves in the eye caused by high blood sugars) after 5 years, almost 60% after 10 years and 100% after 20 years.
Again, when Riley's 23....
23, just getting out of college, just really starting life....
Fear can be crippling. But, it can also be motivating.
Sometimes the fear cripples me, sometimes it wins. Sometimes I cry myself to sleep or lock myself in the bathroom and sob because I"m overwhelmed with it all.
But, most of the time my fear motivates me. It motivates me to hold onto my sons a little tighter. It motivates me to log Riley's sugars. It motivates me to teach him a little at a time so that he can one day do all of this on his own.
But, most of all, it motivates me to help find a cure. The only way to get rid of these fears is to get rid of this disease.
That's exactly what I'm trying to do.
(**edit: Go read this post to hear just how real complications can be. While there take time to give Kate and Lance a hug or two.)
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
'Tis the Season (for giving to Faustman's research)
People tend to be a little more generous around this time of year. They seem to have the holiday spirit.
Are you feeling generous?
Thursday, December 18 there will be a diabetes walk at my son's school. All of the proceeds will be donated directly to Dr. Faustman's research at Massachusetts General Hospital.
My son attends a school that has about 320 kids. Of those 320, 5 of them have Type 1 diabetes. They range in age from 6-17.
If you'd like to help and donate to a very worthy cause email me and let me know and I'll tell you where to send the check. Or, if you'd like you can click here and donate on-line. If you choose the on-line option please email me (pennylane5001@embarqmail.com) and let me know your donation amount so I can add it to the walk total. Any amount is greatly appreciated.
It all adds up to a cure.
**edit: I just read the Faustman news letter!!! I read it with a huge grin on my face. I have the most hope I've had in a while. Click here to read the newsletter and have a few grins of your own.
Are you feeling generous?
Thursday, December 18 there will be a diabetes walk at my son's school. All of the proceeds will be donated directly to Dr. Faustman's research at Massachusetts General Hospital.
My son attends a school that has about 320 kids. Of those 320, 5 of them have Type 1 diabetes. They range in age from 6-17.
If you'd like to help and donate to a very worthy cause email me and let me know and I'll tell you where to send the check. Or, if you'd like you can click here and donate on-line. If you choose the on-line option please email me (pennylane5001@embarqmail.com) and let me know your donation amount so I can add it to the walk total. Any amount is greatly appreciated.
It all adds up to a cure.
**edit: I just read the Faustman news letter!!! I read it with a huge grin on my face. I have the most hope I've had in a while. Click here to read the newsletter and have a few grins of your own.
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
An Opportune Low
Holden had another basketball game last night. As we stood in line to buy food Riley was eyeing some very delicious-looking cupcakes.
"Can I have one?"
"Let's see what your sugar is first."
I checked his sugar while standing in line: 63.
"Yes. I guess you can."
"Can I eat it first?"
"Yes, you need to go on and eat it to bring your sugar up"
Normally, he would get a juice box before he could eat but this particular cupcake was piled high with sugar laden icing. I knew he would eat the icing first. He always licks all the icing off first and eats the cake part last.
I rechecked him in 15 minutes: 93. He got a bolus for the cupcake and the cheeseburger he ate.
Two hours later he was 91. Since he still had insulin on board and we'd be at the game a while I told him he could have a snack. We got back in line and this time he eyed something covered in chocolate. I asked the person behind the counter what it was. It was peanut butter crackers covered in chocolate.
Riley ate two of them. I bolused accordingly and two hours later he was 88.
Even thought is sugar went low it was not dangerously low. He got to eat a few treats and his sugars responded rather favorably.
We needed a night like that.
"Can I have one?"
"Let's see what your sugar is first."
I checked his sugar while standing in line: 63.
"Yes. I guess you can."
"Can I eat it first?"
"Yes, you need to go on and eat it to bring your sugar up"
Normally, he would get a juice box before he could eat but this particular cupcake was piled high with sugar laden icing. I knew he would eat the icing first. He always licks all the icing off first and eats the cake part last.
I rechecked him in 15 minutes: 93. He got a bolus for the cupcake and the cheeseburger he ate.
Two hours later he was 91. Since he still had insulin on board and we'd be at the game a while I told him he could have a snack. We got back in line and this time he eyed something covered in chocolate. I asked the person behind the counter what it was. It was peanut butter crackers covered in chocolate.
Riley ate two of them. I bolused accordingly and two hours later he was 88.
Even thought is sugar went low it was not dangerously low. He got to eat a few treats and his sugars responded rather favorably.
We needed a night like that.
Monday, December 08, 2008
Four
That's the number of birthday parties Riley attended this week. One was a party at school. The other three were all this weekend.
Things eaten at said parties:
cupcake, Doritos, cake, hot dog, potato chips, cookie, cake, peanut butter ball, sausage balls, Cheetos, crackers, cake, ice cream.
His sugars are still on the high side most days. I'm finding that blood sugar control has become much harder over the last several months. Riley's endo thinks that the "honeymoon" (what a stupid word for it) has finally ended for good. This means his pancreas doesn't help out at all anymore.
It just makes me want to cry. But, I won't. Past experience tells me it won't do any good.
Things eaten at said parties:
cupcake, Doritos, cake, hot dog, potato chips, cookie, cake, peanut butter ball, sausage balls, Cheetos, crackers, cake, ice cream.
His sugars are still on the high side most days. I'm finding that blood sugar control has become much harder over the last several months. Riley's endo thinks that the "honeymoon" (what a stupid word for it) has finally ended for good. This means his pancreas doesn't help out at all anymore.
It just makes me want to cry. But, I won't. Past experience tells me it won't do any good.
Friday, December 05, 2008
Head or Heart (or kidneys, or eyes, or...)
Every parent wants what’s best for their child. You want them to grow up strong and healthy. You want them to have a strong and healthy body. You also want them to be mentally strong, not just smart, but mentally healthy too. You want them to have high self-esteem. You don’t want them to feel isolated or different.
The physical part isn’t too hard with most kids. You make sure they eat healthy. You make sure they brush their teeth at least twice a day. You take them to the doctor for regular check-ups.
The mental part is a little harder. But, most kids just want to be treated like everyone else. They want to belong, fit in. They don’t want to be singled out amongst their peers.
Throw diabetes into the mix and it complicates things a bit.
What do you do when keeping your child physically healthy is a detriment to them mentally?
Or, keeping them mentally healthy is a detriment to their physical health?
Parents of kids with diabetes are faced with this dilemma on a daily basis, usually several times a day.
It’s been wearing on me as of late.
Usually if Riley’s sugar is high he will take insulin and skip snack. But, what about when there’s a birthday party at school and his sugar is 350 and the main menu items are cupcakes and ice cream with a side of potato chips?
Should I make him skip the party to keep his body healthy? Or should I let him go on and eat knowing the food is going to send his sugar soaring even higher just so he won’t feel singled out?
I’ve done both. And, I’ve felt guilty about both.
It breaks my heart to think of him sitting at his desk watching everyone else eat their treats. But, it also bothers me to think that his sugar is already that high and, before going down, will probably go higher.
9 times out of 10 if peers are involved I let him go on and eat and just deal with the high later. There are enough things he has to do that make him stand out. I don’t want to add to that.
He’s the only one in his class who pulls out a blood sugar machine before he eats. He’s the only one who sometimes has to sit out at recess because his sugar is low. He’s the only one that the teacher counts his fries before he eats.
Yes, there’s enough already to make him feel different.
Lately, he’s had a lot of highs. I’m guessing he’s going through a growth spurt. I have been increasing basals on a weekly basis for the past several weeks. Still, he sees the 300s at least once a day.
I guess that’s why this has been weighing on me so much lately. When his sugars have been pretty much in range it’s easier to let him have cake and ice cream occasionally even if his sugar is high at the time.
But, now, he’s having all these highs….
It is a horrible feeling when you know whatever decision you make is going to impact your child in a negative way somehow. I’m constantly second-guessing myself. I feel guilty if I let him eat and I feel bad if I don’t.
I don’t know how to solve the problem. A cure, maybe. That would be nice. But, until then what do I do?
The physical part isn’t too hard with most kids. You make sure they eat healthy. You make sure they brush their teeth at least twice a day. You take them to the doctor for regular check-ups.
The mental part is a little harder. But, most kids just want to be treated like everyone else. They want to belong, fit in. They don’t want to be singled out amongst their peers.
Throw diabetes into the mix and it complicates things a bit.
What do you do when keeping your child physically healthy is a detriment to them mentally?
Or, keeping them mentally healthy is a detriment to their physical health?
Parents of kids with diabetes are faced with this dilemma on a daily basis, usually several times a day.
It’s been wearing on me as of late.
Usually if Riley’s sugar is high he will take insulin and skip snack. But, what about when there’s a birthday party at school and his sugar is 350 and the main menu items are cupcakes and ice cream with a side of potato chips?
Should I make him skip the party to keep his body healthy? Or should I let him go on and eat knowing the food is going to send his sugar soaring even higher just so he won’t feel singled out?
I’ve done both. And, I’ve felt guilty about both.
It breaks my heart to think of him sitting at his desk watching everyone else eat their treats. But, it also bothers me to think that his sugar is already that high and, before going down, will probably go higher.
9 times out of 10 if peers are involved I let him go on and eat and just deal with the high later. There are enough things he has to do that make him stand out. I don’t want to add to that.
He’s the only one in his class who pulls out a blood sugar machine before he eats. He’s the only one who sometimes has to sit out at recess because his sugar is low. He’s the only one that the teacher counts his fries before he eats.
Yes, there’s enough already to make him feel different.
Lately, he’s had a lot of highs. I’m guessing he’s going through a growth spurt. I have been increasing basals on a weekly basis for the past several weeks. Still, he sees the 300s at least once a day.
I guess that’s why this has been weighing on me so much lately. When his sugars have been pretty much in range it’s easier to let him have cake and ice cream occasionally even if his sugar is high at the time.
But, now, he’s having all these highs….
It is a horrible feeling when you know whatever decision you make is going to impact your child in a negative way somehow. I’m constantly second-guessing myself. I feel guilty if I let him eat and I feel bad if I don’t.
I don’t know how to solve the problem. A cure, maybe. That would be nice. But, until then what do I do?
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
What do you think?
Our most difficult meal of the day, sugar-wise, has always been breakfast. For some reason, Riley’s carb coverage is the most at breakfast.
Riley eats the same breakfast every morning: ½ cup cereal, ¼ milk (total of 22g carbs). I know cereal is usually a no no for most PWD but Riley’s sugars usually do pretty well. Or, at least they do now.
For a while he ate a Go-tart every morning (25g of carbs). Yes, I know, lots of sugar, little to no protein, but he liked them, they were easy, and his sugars really did OK. Or, they did after a while.
Riley will eat the same cereal for a while until he gets tired of it and wants to change brands. His sugars do fine, after a while.
My point is this, I have found that when Riley switches cereal or he eats something different than he usually does for breakfast his sugar will be high 2 hours later. This will usually happen for 2-3 days. But, if we continue with the same breakfast, eventually, his sugars even out and are just fine 2 hours later.
Thoughts? Does his body get “used to” what he’s eating? Would it work with other meals?
Riley has been eating cereal every morning for a while. I was out of milk this morning, so he ate a Go Tart. He hasn’t had a Go Tart in a while. I totally expect his sugar to be high at his next check, when it is usually in range.
Does this happen with anyone else?
Riley eats the same breakfast every morning: ½ cup cereal, ¼ milk (total of 22g carbs). I know cereal is usually a no no for most PWD but Riley’s sugars usually do pretty well. Or, at least they do now.
For a while he ate a Go-tart every morning (25g of carbs). Yes, I know, lots of sugar, little to no protein, but he liked them, they were easy, and his sugars really did OK. Or, they did after a while.
Riley will eat the same cereal for a while until he gets tired of it and wants to change brands. His sugars do fine, after a while.
My point is this, I have found that when Riley switches cereal or he eats something different than he usually does for breakfast his sugar will be high 2 hours later. This will usually happen for 2-3 days. But, if we continue with the same breakfast, eventually, his sugars even out and are just fine 2 hours later.
Thoughts? Does his body get “used to” what he’s eating? Would it work with other meals?
Riley has been eating cereal every morning for a while. I was out of milk this morning, so he ate a Go Tart. He hasn’t had a Go Tart in a while. I totally expect his sugar to be high at his next check, when it is usually in range.
Does this happen with anyone else?
Friday, November 21, 2008
I Hate Snow
I live in the south. I have always lived in the south. When it snows in the south schools close, businesses close. It's almost like a holiday.
I have worked as a home health nurse for the last 10 years. During those 10 years I learned to despise the snow. While businesses and schools closed, home health did not. Sick people are still sick in the snow.
So, while my family slept peacefully or Riley sat with his nose pressed against the window pane or while my boys had snowball fights in the front yard, I was at work. I even ended up in the ditch one time while trying to see patients in the snow and ice.
When I got my job as a school nurse I told Michael that I can finally learn to love the snow again. Most schools around where I live cancel school not long after the first flake falls. (I know you northerners don't understand. I guess it's just a southern thing.) So, I figured I would no longer have to go to work in the snow and I'd be able to sit home and enjoy it.
I woke up this morning to the most beautiful snowfall. The ground and cars had a nice dusting of snow and it was still snowing pretty hard.
I kept waiting for my phone to ring saying that school was canceled or at least delayed. It never came.
So, I'm at school. It's still snowing. It's been snowing for several hours now.
I still hate snow.
I have worked as a home health nurse for the last 10 years. During those 10 years I learned to despise the snow. While businesses and schools closed, home health did not. Sick people are still sick in the snow.
So, while my family slept peacefully or Riley sat with his nose pressed against the window pane or while my boys had snowball fights in the front yard, I was at work. I even ended up in the ditch one time while trying to see patients in the snow and ice.
When I got my job as a school nurse I told Michael that I can finally learn to love the snow again. Most schools around where I live cancel school not long after the first flake falls. (I know you northerners don't understand. I guess it's just a southern thing.) So, I figured I would no longer have to go to work in the snow and I'd be able to sit home and enjoy it.
I woke up this morning to the most beautiful snowfall. The ground and cars had a nice dusting of snow and it was still snowing pretty hard.
I kept waiting for my phone to ring saying that school was canceled or at least delayed. It never came.
So, I'm at school. It's still snowing. It's been snowing for several hours now.
I still hate snow.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Hope, Belief, Pain, and Faith
Today marks 3 years that I have been blogging. My very first post was Riley's diagnosis story. I've shared a lot with you guys since then.
I've shared my pain as well as my joy. I've shared my frustrations and my triumphs. I've participated in memes and probably shared way too much information about myself. You've heard ad nauseum how wonderful Holden and Riley (and Michael) are.
I've vented. I've encouraged. And, sometimes, I've just been silent.
To mark my three years blogging I want to post about something I haven't in a very long time: a cure.
A few days ago the news reported a possible cure for type 1 diabetes. The researchers were able to create a "permanent remission" in mice with diabetes.
I first read about it at one blog and I must say I felt a little jaded. I didn't feel excited by it. I really didn't feel much of anything at all. I commented on the post without trying to sound like a naysayer. Over the years when I've blogged about being excited about a cure I have received comments that tried to squelch that excitement. I don't want to do that. "Never deprive someone of hope-it may be all that they have". But, I felt that three years into this disease I just didn't have the energy to get my hopes up once again.
I read a few more posts and then I read Kerri's post about it. Her post included Brian Williams' broadcast. I watched it with tears in my eyes. Brian Williams seemed so excited. Somehow I felt like maybe he knew something I didn't.
I went on to read the rest of the post and by the end tears were rolling down my face. I have been following Kerri's blog for three years. One of her posts is the reason I ever started blogging in the first place. I've read her posts about a cure before. Most of the time she's very cautiously optimistic. She's lived with type 1 diabetes for 20+ years. It's understandable if she doesn't think about a cure all that often. But, this post was different. This post resonated hope.
I haven't really thought about a cure in a while. I've said before that I could never give up hope. I'm a mother of a child with diabetes. All parents hope for the best for their children. I think the best for Riley would be not to be dependant upon insulin to live. So, I hope one day he won't be.
But, hope and belief are two different things.
I commented on Kerri's post that I wanted to believe. I do. I want to believe that one day Riley will no longer need insulin to live. That he will no longer be attached to a machine. That he will run and run and never go low. That I won't wake up in the middle of the night and go in his room just to make sure he's still breathing. That the black spots on the pads of his fingertips will one day disappear.
I want to believe with every fiber of my being that this research is going to pan out, that Dr. Faustman's research will pan out, that any other research for a cure for type 1 will pan out.
But, I can't.
I don't want to be disappointed again. I guess I'm going with not letting myself believe it will happen and hoping that one day I will be pleasantly surprised when it does.
Belief brings up pain. It is painful for me to think of a Riley without diabetes. Why? Because I may never see that happen. It's easier, less painful somehow, to just believe that he will always have diabetes. It's painful to picture Riley delving into a bowl of ice cream without worrying about the high that will probably come hours later. It's painful to think of him eating all the lasagna he wants. I don't know how to explain it. It's just painful.
I hope for a cure, but I can't see one in the future. I just can't see it.
Writing this post made me think of a familiar Bible verse: "Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." Hebrews 11:1.
While I might not believe right now, I do have faith. I have faith that one day the thing that I've hoped for and the thing I just can't see, will happen.
I've shared my pain as well as my joy. I've shared my frustrations and my triumphs. I've participated in memes and probably shared way too much information about myself. You've heard ad nauseum how wonderful Holden and Riley (and Michael) are.
I've vented. I've encouraged. And, sometimes, I've just been silent.
To mark my three years blogging I want to post about something I haven't in a very long time: a cure.
A few days ago the news reported a possible cure for type 1 diabetes. The researchers were able to create a "permanent remission" in mice with diabetes.
I first read about it at one blog and I must say I felt a little jaded. I didn't feel excited by it. I really didn't feel much of anything at all. I commented on the post without trying to sound like a naysayer. Over the years when I've blogged about being excited about a cure I have received comments that tried to squelch that excitement. I don't want to do that. "Never deprive someone of hope-it may be all that they have". But, I felt that three years into this disease I just didn't have the energy to get my hopes up once again.
I read a few more posts and then I read Kerri's post about it. Her post included Brian Williams' broadcast. I watched it with tears in my eyes. Brian Williams seemed so excited. Somehow I felt like maybe he knew something I didn't.
I went on to read the rest of the post and by the end tears were rolling down my face. I have been following Kerri's blog for three years. One of her posts is the reason I ever started blogging in the first place. I've read her posts about a cure before. Most of the time she's very cautiously optimistic. She's lived with type 1 diabetes for 20+ years. It's understandable if she doesn't think about a cure all that often. But, this post was different. This post resonated hope.
I haven't really thought about a cure in a while. I've said before that I could never give up hope. I'm a mother of a child with diabetes. All parents hope for the best for their children. I think the best for Riley would be not to be dependant upon insulin to live. So, I hope one day he won't be.
But, hope and belief are two different things.
I commented on Kerri's post that I wanted to believe. I do. I want to believe that one day Riley will no longer need insulin to live. That he will no longer be attached to a machine. That he will run and run and never go low. That I won't wake up in the middle of the night and go in his room just to make sure he's still breathing. That the black spots on the pads of his fingertips will one day disappear.
I want to believe with every fiber of my being that this research is going to pan out, that Dr. Faustman's research will pan out, that any other research for a cure for type 1 will pan out.
But, I can't.
I don't want to be disappointed again. I guess I'm going with not letting myself believe it will happen and hoping that one day I will be pleasantly surprised when it does.
Belief brings up pain. It is painful for me to think of a Riley without diabetes. Why? Because I may never see that happen. It's easier, less painful somehow, to just believe that he will always have diabetes. It's painful to picture Riley delving into a bowl of ice cream without worrying about the high that will probably come hours later. It's painful to think of him eating all the lasagna he wants. I don't know how to explain it. It's just painful.
I hope for a cure, but I can't see one in the future. I just can't see it.
Writing this post made me think of a familiar Bible verse: "Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." Hebrews 11:1.
While I might not believe right now, I do have faith. I have faith that one day the thing that I've hoped for and the thing I just can't see, will happen.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
It Could Have Been Worse
As I said previously Holden's first basketball game was Friday. Everything was going fine. I've kept stats during the games for the last few years. This year I said I wasn't going to do it. Since it is Holden's last year I just wanted to be able to sit and enjoy the game. So, I was sitting and enjoying the game.
About a minute or two into the game Holden ran into a player from the opposing team. I saw him grab his left knee and fall down. I was up from my seat and headed out of the stands before he ever really hit the floor.
The AD helped him limp off the floor. By the time he got to his bench I was right beside him. I assessed the situation. His knee didn't look too bad. It was hurting him but it wasn't swelling up or anything. I got him up walking on it. I knew he didn't need to let it get stiff. He's had a lot of joint injuries over the years and I've learned that a very important thing is to use the joint even if it hurts.
He jogged up and down the halls a bit and jumped up and down and decided he was OK to play. Since it wasn't swelling I let him go back in. He sat out the whole first half but at half time he was back on the court. He wasn't limping and was able to keep up with the rest of the players.
After the game the pain started. When he woke up Saturday morning it was a little puffy. I let him call into work. He works as a bagger at a local grocery store and I thought it was probably best that he not stand in one place on a hard floor all day.
He kept ice on it over the weekend. The swelling went down. Sunday he was still in a little pain and said it felt stiff.
Yesterday I decided that since it was still bothering him I thought he should go have it checked out before going back out on the court for practice.
We went to the orthopaedist yesterday. He said that Holden had dislocated his knee cap during the game but fortunately it had popped itself back in. But, to dislocate your knee cap you have to tear some of the soft tissue around your knee.
Because of this he told Holden he could not practice or play basketball for 2 weeks. He will have to take physical therapy for two weeks and then when he is released to play again he will have to wear a knee brace.
Holden wasn't too happy. But, I told him it could be worse. He could be out the whole season.
But, I am familiar with how he feels. I broke my hand playing basketball during my senior year of high school. I was out for 4 weeks. It's no fun sitting on the sidelines and wanting to be out there helping your team but knowing there's nothing you can do.
I keep telling myself it could have been so much worse.
I'm familiar with telling myself that too.
About a minute or two into the game Holden ran into a player from the opposing team. I saw him grab his left knee and fall down. I was up from my seat and headed out of the stands before he ever really hit the floor.
The AD helped him limp off the floor. By the time he got to his bench I was right beside him. I assessed the situation. His knee didn't look too bad. It was hurting him but it wasn't swelling up or anything. I got him up walking on it. I knew he didn't need to let it get stiff. He's had a lot of joint injuries over the years and I've learned that a very important thing is to use the joint even if it hurts.
He jogged up and down the halls a bit and jumped up and down and decided he was OK to play. Since it wasn't swelling I let him go back in. He sat out the whole first half but at half time he was back on the court. He wasn't limping and was able to keep up with the rest of the players.
After the game the pain started. When he woke up Saturday morning it was a little puffy. I let him call into work. He works as a bagger at a local grocery store and I thought it was probably best that he not stand in one place on a hard floor all day.
He kept ice on it over the weekend. The swelling went down. Sunday he was still in a little pain and said it felt stiff.
Yesterday I decided that since it was still bothering him I thought he should go have it checked out before going back out on the court for practice.
We went to the orthopaedist yesterday. He said that Holden had dislocated his knee cap during the game but fortunately it had popped itself back in. But, to dislocate your knee cap you have to tear some of the soft tissue around your knee.
Because of this he told Holden he could not practice or play basketball for 2 weeks. He will have to take physical therapy for two weeks and then when he is released to play again he will have to wear a knee brace.
Holden wasn't too happy. But, I told him it could be worse. He could be out the whole season.
But, I am familiar with how he feels. I broke my hand playing basketball during my senior year of high school. I was out for 4 weeks. It's no fun sitting on the sidelines and wanting to be out there helping your team but knowing there's nothing you can do.
I keep telling myself it could have been so much worse.
I'm familiar with telling myself that too.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Ozzy Osbourne Makes Me Cry
Driving into work this morning I was listening to a local radio station that has a segment called the Friday Morning Weekend Blast-Off. They play songs from any genre of music that is requested by their listeners. Most of the songs are usually older songs.
As I turned down the road my school is on I heard the familiar beat of "Mambo No. 5". Songs have a way of evoking memories, for me at least. That particular song brought back memories of Holden playing baseball in his younger days. He was 7 years old when that song became popular. While I'm not a fan of the song, I have memories of it and a New York Yankee version being played in between innings of Holden's baseball games.
These are happy memories for me, but I began to blink back tears. I started thinking of how that was 9 years ago and yet it seems like yesterday. Just yesterday my boy was playing little league baseball and now, he's going to be going away to college in less than a year. Much like diabetes is always somewhere in my mind, so is the thought of Holden graduating and going off to college.
His senior year is flying by with a speed that has given me whip lash. It's already the middle of November. I feel like time is flying by and no matter how hard I try to reach out a grasp the reigns to put on the brakes a bit, they slip through my hands. I want to slow it all down and give myself time to enjoy every moment, to make every moment last longer.
Holden's first basketball game of the season is tonight. I have lived for basketball season since Holden was in the 7th grade. While this time of the year is hectic, I love every minute of it. I played basketball in junior high and high school. I loved playing it then and I love watching my son play it now.
I have been looking forward to this game all week. It's a little crazy how excited I was about it. Last night, Holden came in after practice and laid his basketball uniforms across the rocking chair. He sat his basketball shoes down in the floor and went in the kitchen to get a drink. I looked at the uniform and the shoes and suddenly my excitement turned to sadness.
I guess it hit me that this is the beginning of the end.
As I approached my school this morning another song came over the airways. The familiar opening guitar riff from Ozzy Osbourne's "Crazy Train" filled my car. I was flooded by memories of Holden's basketball team warming up to that song before games. And, I started to cry, honest to goodness tears.
As I was crying I was thinking of how stupid it made me feel. For goodness sakes, there are much worse things in the world than my son going away to college. But, at the moment, I couldn't really think of one.
I knew Holden's senior year was going to be hard, but I had no idea how hard. I now know I'm in for a rough ride.
When Ozzy Osbourne makes you cry you know you have problems.
As I turned down the road my school is on I heard the familiar beat of "Mambo No. 5". Songs have a way of evoking memories, for me at least. That particular song brought back memories of Holden playing baseball in his younger days. He was 7 years old when that song became popular. While I'm not a fan of the song, I have memories of it and a New York Yankee version being played in between innings of Holden's baseball games.
These are happy memories for me, but I began to blink back tears. I started thinking of how that was 9 years ago and yet it seems like yesterday. Just yesterday my boy was playing little league baseball and now, he's going to be going away to college in less than a year. Much like diabetes is always somewhere in my mind, so is the thought of Holden graduating and going off to college.
His senior year is flying by with a speed that has given me whip lash. It's already the middle of November. I feel like time is flying by and no matter how hard I try to reach out a grasp the reigns to put on the brakes a bit, they slip through my hands. I want to slow it all down and give myself time to enjoy every moment, to make every moment last longer.
Holden's first basketball game of the season is tonight. I have lived for basketball season since Holden was in the 7th grade. While this time of the year is hectic, I love every minute of it. I played basketball in junior high and high school. I loved playing it then and I love watching my son play it now.
I have been looking forward to this game all week. It's a little crazy how excited I was about it. Last night, Holden came in after practice and laid his basketball uniforms across the rocking chair. He sat his basketball shoes down in the floor and went in the kitchen to get a drink. I looked at the uniform and the shoes and suddenly my excitement turned to sadness.
I guess it hit me that this is the beginning of the end.
As I approached my school this morning another song came over the airways. The familiar opening guitar riff from Ozzy Osbourne's "Crazy Train" filled my car. I was flooded by memories of Holden's basketball team warming up to that song before games. And, I started to cry, honest to goodness tears.
As I was crying I was thinking of how stupid it made me feel. For goodness sakes, there are much worse things in the world than my son going away to college. But, at the moment, I couldn't really think of one.
I knew Holden's senior year was going to be hard, but I had no idea how hard. I now know I'm in for a rough ride.
When Ozzy Osbourne makes you cry you know you have problems.
World Diabetes Day (Why It's So Important)
Today is World Diabetes Day. I have other things on my mind this morning and I may blog about that later, but I couldn't let this very important day go by without putting in a little effort myself. Because no matter what else might be going on in my life, diabetes is always there. It always has a place in my heart and in my mind.
Below is an excerpt from an email I received about WDD. It is powerful and says things better than I can, so I copied it for you to read. After the email I've added a few thoughts of my own.
Whatever you are doing on World Diabetes Day, take just a moment to consider the facts behind the campaign:
** Every 10 seconds a person dies from diabetes-related causes.
** Every 10 seconds two people develop diabetes.
** Over 250 million people live with diabetes worldwide. In 2025, this figure will reach 380 million.
** Over 500,000 children under age 15 worldwide live with type 1 diabetes.
** More than 200 children a day develop type 1 diabetes.
** In developing countries, close to 75,000 children live with diabetes in desperate circumstances.
** Type 1 diabetes is increasing fastest in pre-school children, at a rate of 5% each year.
** Type 2 diabetes has been reported in children as young as eight.
** Type 2 diabetes affects children in both developed and developing countries.
A few reasons why we're here today: World diabetes Day is an action-oriented campaign in support of people affected by diabetes around the world. The campaign is inspired by issues of paramount importance to people with diabetes and their families. Here are some of the stories that motivate us. (All names in the stories below have been changed to protect the identities of the individuals involved.
Sachin's story : Sachin is a 13-year-old boy with type 1 diabetes and pulmonary tuberculosis. His diabetes is not under control. Most of the time his blood sugars range from 300 – 500 mg/dl (16.5 – 27.5 mmol/L). He usually gets up multiple times during the night to visit the bathroom. Some nights he wakes up with low blood sugar, which terrifies him. Sachin has no means to check his blood sugar. He sees a local physician who has never before treated a child with diabetes. The government of Sachin's country have no plans to subsidize the cost of insulin for children with type 1 diabetes. This means that the greatest obstacle that young Sachin and his family must face is how to meet the combined cost of his tuberculosis medicine and the insulin he needs to survive.
Mollie's story: Mollie is mother to two girls with type 1 diabetes (13-year-old Rebecca and 5-year-old Rose). For Mollie, diabetes brings new challenges every day as she takes care of her girls. School is the hardest thing for Mollie, Rebecca and Rose. Neither of the girls' schools has a nurse and neither school can provide the supervision to allow Rebecca and Rose to take shots and test their blood sugar levels. As a consequence, Mollie has had to quit her job to stay home and take care of the two girls. She visits the school where Rose is in kindergarten at least 3-4 times a day to check her daughter's sugar levels and give her insulin. Mollie's own mother is a teacher where Rebecca goes to school, a blessing which keeps Mollie from running between two schools all day.
Pablo's story: In March this year, Pablo started to experience the classic signs of diabetes. He needed to urinate frequently and was thirsty all the time, he was extremely tired, losing weight and found it difficult to concentrate. His vision became blurred. On top of these symptoms, he got an eye infection that would not go away. Pablo did not think about diabetes. He was not familiar with the warning signs and thought that diabetes was something not very serious that happened to old people. Soon he became very unwell, unable even to stand by himself. Living alone and at a distance from his family, he had no support. He couldn't pull the strength together to contact his loved ones. The young man watched on helpless as his condition got worse day by day. In April, a fortuitous visit from Pablo's mother resulted in an immediate trip to a nearby hospital, where blood tests showed that Pablo's sugar levels were dangerously high. At this point, the young man was so weak that he could no longer speak. After four days in hospital, Paco was started on insulin and told that he would need multiple injections every day of his life or face certain death. The financial consequences of this news were devastating. The hospital visit that had saved his life now threatened to leave the young man destitute and presented him with an uncertain future. He would need to quit his studies immediately.
Robert's story: One day Robert, a young man with type 1 diabetes, became dizzy on the way to his university class. He rushed into the dining hall to grab some juice but it was too late. He blacked-out, collapsing into the juice machine, smashing it to pieces and badly cutting himself in the process. Robert came round as the police arrived on the scene. Assuming Robert was drunk, the police refused his cries for juice as he lay on the ground bleeding and confused. They held him down and asked him over and over for his social security number and home address. Robert's hypo was so severe that he could hardly remember his own name let alone deal with the situation unfolding around him. He was overcome with the sense that he was going to die if he did not get something sweet and began screaming in the middle of the packed dining hall "I NEED JUICE! GIVE ME JUICE!" Robert could hear people in the background murmuring "He's crazy, why does he want juice?"
Don't ignore diabetes! The light shines 900 strong. Diabetes has spent too long in the shadows. Despite the enormity and severity of the pandemic, the disease is often overlooked by politicians, misunderstood by the mass media and shunned by the major donors. As a result, it has flown in under the radar. Yet the global diabetes community refuses to let the world ignore diabetes. Today, diabetes stakeholders everywhere (the diabetes representative organizations - including all of IDF's more than 200 member associations - the people affected by diabetes and their families, all the diabetes bloggers and committed individuals working diligently for change, the official World Diabetes Day Partners and many others) have united to bring diabetes to light. Today sees the culmination of all our effort. We have come together again to secure an incredible 900 monument lightings to mark our day. Enjoy it. The day belongs to all of us.
Yes, the day belongs to all of us. It doesn't matter what color you are, how old you are, or what country you live in. If you are affected by diabetes in any way,this day if for you.
This day is for all those children/young adults that will receive a diagnosis of Type 1 diabetes today. Their lives will change forever. They will forever be dependant upon synthetic insulin to live.
This day is for those that will be diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes today. They will each have struggles of their own. And, this day is also for those who have already received that diagnosis.
This day is for those kids who have lived with the needle sticks, the lows, and the highs for way too long. For those kids (and adults) who don't ever remember a day where they were not stuck with a needle.
This day is also for the family members of these people. It is for the parents, siblings, spouses, significant others, aunts, uncles, grandparents who see what this disease does to their loved ones and feel powerless to stop it.
No matter what is going on in your life today, take a moment to stop and think about the millions upon millions of people who are affected by diabetes every day. Take a moment to realize how devastating it is. Take a moment to tell at least one person why today is so important for everyone, why it's so important to you.
It is so important to me because my son was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes when he was 3 years old. He is one of those that will never remember a day without a needle stick. He will never know the freedom of opening a kitchen cabinet and pulling out whatever he wants to eat without first weighing in his head what it might do to his sugars. He will never play sports without thinking about the delicate balancing act of exercise and insulin.
To those of you who organized this day, thank you. There are not words enough to express my gratitude. I believe that there is power in numbers. We have the numbers and this day gives us a way to exert our power.
Happy WDD to you all.
Below is an excerpt from an email I received about WDD. It is powerful and says things better than I can, so I copied it for you to read. After the email I've added a few thoughts of my own.
Whatever you are doing on World Diabetes Day, take just a moment to consider the facts behind the campaign:
** Every 10 seconds a person dies from diabetes-related causes.
** Every 10 seconds two people develop diabetes.
** Over 250 million people live with diabetes worldwide. In 2025, this figure will reach 380 million.
** Over 500,000 children under age 15 worldwide live with type 1 diabetes.
** More than 200 children a day develop type 1 diabetes.
** In developing countries, close to 75,000 children live with diabetes in desperate circumstances.
** Type 1 diabetes is increasing fastest in pre-school children, at a rate of 5% each year.
** Type 2 diabetes has been reported in children as young as eight.
** Type 2 diabetes affects children in both developed and developing countries.
A few reasons why we're here today: World diabetes Day is an action-oriented campaign in support of people affected by diabetes around the world. The campaign is inspired by issues of paramount importance to people with diabetes and their families. Here are some of the stories that motivate us. (All names in the stories below have been changed to protect the identities of the individuals involved.
Sachin's story : Sachin is a 13-year-old boy with type 1 diabetes and pulmonary tuberculosis. His diabetes is not under control. Most of the time his blood sugars range from 300 – 500 mg/dl (16.5 – 27.5 mmol/L). He usually gets up multiple times during the night to visit the bathroom. Some nights he wakes up with low blood sugar, which terrifies him. Sachin has no means to check his blood sugar. He sees a local physician who has never before treated a child with diabetes. The government of Sachin's country have no plans to subsidize the cost of insulin for children with type 1 diabetes. This means that the greatest obstacle that young Sachin and his family must face is how to meet the combined cost of his tuberculosis medicine and the insulin he needs to survive.
Mollie's story: Mollie is mother to two girls with type 1 diabetes (13-year-old Rebecca and 5-year-old Rose). For Mollie, diabetes brings new challenges every day as she takes care of her girls. School is the hardest thing for Mollie, Rebecca and Rose. Neither of the girls' schools has a nurse and neither school can provide the supervision to allow Rebecca and Rose to take shots and test their blood sugar levels. As a consequence, Mollie has had to quit her job to stay home and take care of the two girls. She visits the school where Rose is in kindergarten at least 3-4 times a day to check her daughter's sugar levels and give her insulin. Mollie's own mother is a teacher where Rebecca goes to school, a blessing which keeps Mollie from running between two schools all day.
Pablo's story: In March this year, Pablo started to experience the classic signs of diabetes. He needed to urinate frequently and was thirsty all the time, he was extremely tired, losing weight and found it difficult to concentrate. His vision became blurred. On top of these symptoms, he got an eye infection that would not go away. Pablo did not think about diabetes. He was not familiar with the warning signs and thought that diabetes was something not very serious that happened to old people. Soon he became very unwell, unable even to stand by himself. Living alone and at a distance from his family, he had no support. He couldn't pull the strength together to contact his loved ones. The young man watched on helpless as his condition got worse day by day. In April, a fortuitous visit from Pablo's mother resulted in an immediate trip to a nearby hospital, where blood tests showed that Pablo's sugar levels were dangerously high. At this point, the young man was so weak that he could no longer speak. After four days in hospital, Paco was started on insulin and told that he would need multiple injections every day of his life or face certain death. The financial consequences of this news were devastating. The hospital visit that had saved his life now threatened to leave the young man destitute and presented him with an uncertain future. He would need to quit his studies immediately.
Robert's story: One day Robert, a young man with type 1 diabetes, became dizzy on the way to his university class. He rushed into the dining hall to grab some juice but it was too late. He blacked-out, collapsing into the juice machine, smashing it to pieces and badly cutting himself in the process. Robert came round as the police arrived on the scene. Assuming Robert was drunk, the police refused his cries for juice as he lay on the ground bleeding and confused. They held him down and asked him over and over for his social security number and home address. Robert's hypo was so severe that he could hardly remember his own name let alone deal with the situation unfolding around him. He was overcome with the sense that he was going to die if he did not get something sweet and began screaming in the middle of the packed dining hall "I NEED JUICE! GIVE ME JUICE!" Robert could hear people in the background murmuring "He's crazy, why does he want juice?"
Don't ignore diabetes! The light shines 900 strong. Diabetes has spent too long in the shadows. Despite the enormity and severity of the pandemic, the disease is often overlooked by politicians, misunderstood by the mass media and shunned by the major donors. As a result, it has flown in under the radar. Yet the global diabetes community refuses to let the world ignore diabetes. Today, diabetes stakeholders everywhere (the diabetes representative organizations - including all of IDF's more than 200 member associations - the people affected by diabetes and their families, all the diabetes bloggers and committed individuals working diligently for change, the official World Diabetes Day Partners and many others) have united to bring diabetes to light. Today sees the culmination of all our effort. We have come together again to secure an incredible 900 monument lightings to mark our day. Enjoy it. The day belongs to all of us.
Yes, the day belongs to all of us. It doesn't matter what color you are, how old you are, or what country you live in. If you are affected by diabetes in any way,this day if for you.
This day is for all those children/young adults that will receive a diagnosis of Type 1 diabetes today. Their lives will change forever. They will forever be dependant upon synthetic insulin to live.
This day is for those that will be diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes today. They will each have struggles of their own. And, this day is also for those who have already received that diagnosis.
This day is for those kids who have lived with the needle sticks, the lows, and the highs for way too long. For those kids (and adults) who don't ever remember a day where they were not stuck with a needle.
This day is also for the family members of these people. It is for the parents, siblings, spouses, significant others, aunts, uncles, grandparents who see what this disease does to their loved ones and feel powerless to stop it.
No matter what is going on in your life today, take a moment to stop and think about the millions upon millions of people who are affected by diabetes every day. Take a moment to realize how devastating it is. Take a moment to tell at least one person why today is so important for everyone, why it's so important to you.
It is so important to me because my son was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes when he was 3 years old. He is one of those that will never remember a day without a needle stick. He will never know the freedom of opening a kitchen cabinet and pulling out whatever he wants to eat without first weighing in his head what it might do to his sugars. He will never play sports without thinking about the delicate balancing act of exercise and insulin.
To those of you who organized this day, thank you. There are not words enough to express my gratitude. I believe that there is power in numbers. We have the numbers and this day gives us a way to exert our power.
Happy WDD to you all.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Late, as usual (My D-blog Post)
Yesterday was D-blog day. And, I missed it. I don't turn my computer on over the weekends, so please forgive me. Even though I'm late to the party I still wanted to put in my two cents worth.
This is my 3rd D-blog day post. Next week will mark my three year anniversary of blogging. I was in so much pain when I began this journey. Prior to starting my blog I had only read one blog post in my entire life. I didn't even know what blogging was. All I knew was that I needed an outlet for my pain. This blog became my outlet.
Because this blog was my outlet you guys who have been reading from the beginning got a glimpse into my soul. In the beginning I let the anger and pain pour out. I shared my tears and my frustrations on a regular basis. I was overwhelmed, tired, frustrated, and grieving.
Instead of getting comments about how I should just get over it or comments about how I was so negative, I got comments of encouragement. I got internet (((hugs))) and offers of virtual shoulders to cry on. I got empathy and understanding. I met a great group of parents of kids with D. And, then I met the PWDs themselves who gave me a glimpse into what Riley might be feeling.
I met people who knew first-hand what the D-life was all about. And, while they may have not been in the same stage of grief as me, they understood my need to be there.
To all of you guys I have to say thank you for sharing your stories and thank you for reading mine. Thank you for all the hugs, well-wishes, and shared tears.
Anyone else reading this might find this corny and sappy. But, I know you guys (affected by D) won't. I know you guys understand where I'm coming from and why I feel such a strong sense of camaraderie with you all.
Just like you understand the frustration of a sugar of 350 when you've done everything "right". Just like you understand why I go in the bathroom and cry after a bad site change. Just like you understand that sometimes you've just got to vent to move on.
Thanks again guys. I mean that from the bottom of my heart.
This is my 3rd D-blog day post. Next week will mark my three year anniversary of blogging. I was in so much pain when I began this journey. Prior to starting my blog I had only read one blog post in my entire life. I didn't even know what blogging was. All I knew was that I needed an outlet for my pain. This blog became my outlet.
Because this blog was my outlet you guys who have been reading from the beginning got a glimpse into my soul. In the beginning I let the anger and pain pour out. I shared my tears and my frustrations on a regular basis. I was overwhelmed, tired, frustrated, and grieving.
Instead of getting comments about how I should just get over it or comments about how I was so negative, I got comments of encouragement. I got internet (((hugs))) and offers of virtual shoulders to cry on. I got empathy and understanding. I met a great group of parents of kids with D. And, then I met the PWDs themselves who gave me a glimpse into what Riley might be feeling.
I met people who knew first-hand what the D-life was all about. And, while they may have not been in the same stage of grief as me, they understood my need to be there.
To all of you guys I have to say thank you for sharing your stories and thank you for reading mine. Thank you for all the hugs, well-wishes, and shared tears.
Anyone else reading this might find this corny and sappy. But, I know you guys (affected by D) won't. I know you guys understand where I'm coming from and why I feel such a strong sense of camaraderie with you all.
Just like you understand the frustration of a sugar of 350 when you've done everything "right". Just like you understand why I go in the bathroom and cry after a bad site change. Just like you understand that sometimes you've just got to vent to move on.
Thanks again guys. I mean that from the bottom of my heart.
Friday, November 07, 2008
There are a lot of things swirling around in my brain today. None of them really have to do with diabetes.
I've been under an undue amount of stress at work. On top of that my Dad just got out of the hospital yesterday. He was in there for a week with pneumonia. Because of his cancer and chemo and radiation and the fact that he used to smoke (16 years ago) this pneumonia was really kicking his butt. The hospital he was in was a little over an hour away. My mom never left his side. I went back and forth every day (except one) to see him and help my mom.
Handling the every day stresses of being a mom to two kids and working full time is overwhelming sometimes, but when you throw other family stresses into the mix it sometimes seems almost unbearable.
On the upside, my work stresses have eased up (read: irate parent is no longer irate). And, my dad is home and doing much better. He has finished chemo and has his last radiation treatment today.
I'm hoping that life will now return to normal or at least my kind of normal. That means blood sugars and site changes, basketball games, soccer games, senior stuff, church and what not.
Because I really don't feel like thinking anymore I am going to do a meme. I think you're supposed to answer with just one word, but I'm going to be a little more detailed.
Have a great weekend everyone!
1. Where is your cell phone? In my pocket. I'm not supposed to have it at work, but that is how Riley's teacher reaches me if she needs me.
2. Your significant other? My hubby, Michael. I miss him. I haven't been able to spend much time with him lately.
3. Your Hair? Dark Brown
4. Your Skin? not my favorite feature
5. Your mother? Thelma and an awesome person
6. Your favorite thing? My kids
7. Your dream last night? Very, very weird. I dreamt that I had diabetes and I was sick and in a hospital bed. My site needed changing and I was too sick to do it. I got mad at Michael because he wouldn't do it for me. The nurse came in and did it for me. The nurse was Vince Vaughn and he was mean and creepy. I don't usually remember my dreams.
8. Your favorite drink? Mountain Dew
9. Your dream/goal? To own a house
10. The room you’re in? office
11. Your ex? sore subject
12. Your fear? death of one of my children
13.Where do you want to be in 6 years? somewhere else
14.Where were you last night? home (for a change)
15.What you’re not? dishonest
16.Muffins? blueberry please
17.One of your wish list items? money
18.Where you grew up? North Carolina
19.The last thing you did? gave a student her inhaler
20.What are you wearing? nursing uniform
21.Your TV? have no idea what brand it is
22.Your pets? cat: Sallie Mae, dog: Grace, and fish: Nemo
23. Your computer? HP (work), Dell (at home)
24. Your life? blessed
25. Your mood? Tired
26. Missing someone? not at the moment
27. Your car? Pontiac Vibe
28. Something you’re not wearing? watch
29. Favorite Store? I don't have one. I hate to shop anywhere.
30. Your summer? nice and relaxing (I have summers off now.)
31. Like someone? Dr. House
32. Your favorite color? yellow
33. When is the last time you laughed? Really, really laughed? I don't know. But, Holden makes me chuckle on a daily basis.
34. Last time you cried? Tuesday when my mom called to update me on how my dad was doing
35. Who will respond to this? probably no one
36. Who’s answers are you anxious to see? whoever decides to participate
I've been under an undue amount of stress at work. On top of that my Dad just got out of the hospital yesterday. He was in there for a week with pneumonia. Because of his cancer and chemo and radiation and the fact that he used to smoke (16 years ago) this pneumonia was really kicking his butt. The hospital he was in was a little over an hour away. My mom never left his side. I went back and forth every day (except one) to see him and help my mom.
Handling the every day stresses of being a mom to two kids and working full time is overwhelming sometimes, but when you throw other family stresses into the mix it sometimes seems almost unbearable.
On the upside, my work stresses have eased up (read: irate parent is no longer irate). And, my dad is home and doing much better. He has finished chemo and has his last radiation treatment today.
I'm hoping that life will now return to normal or at least my kind of normal. That means blood sugars and site changes, basketball games, soccer games, senior stuff, church and what not.
Because I really don't feel like thinking anymore I am going to do a meme. I think you're supposed to answer with just one word, but I'm going to be a little more detailed.
Have a great weekend everyone!
1. Where is your cell phone? In my pocket. I'm not supposed to have it at work, but that is how Riley's teacher reaches me if she needs me.
2. Your significant other? My hubby, Michael. I miss him. I haven't been able to spend much time with him lately.
3. Your Hair? Dark Brown
4. Your Skin? not my favorite feature
5. Your mother? Thelma and an awesome person
6. Your favorite thing? My kids
7. Your dream last night? Very, very weird. I dreamt that I had diabetes and I was sick and in a hospital bed. My site needed changing and I was too sick to do it. I got mad at Michael because he wouldn't do it for me. The nurse came in and did it for me. The nurse was Vince Vaughn and he was mean and creepy. I don't usually remember my dreams.
8. Your favorite drink? Mountain Dew
9. Your dream/goal? To own a house
10. The room you’re in? office
11. Your ex? sore subject
12. Your fear? death of one of my children
13.Where do you want to be in 6 years? somewhere else
14.Where were you last night? home (for a change)
15.What you’re not? dishonest
16.Muffins? blueberry please
17.One of your wish list items? money
18.Where you grew up? North Carolina
19.The last thing you did? gave a student her inhaler
20.What are you wearing? nursing uniform
21.Your TV? have no idea what brand it is
22.Your pets? cat: Sallie Mae, dog: Grace, and fish: Nemo
23. Your computer? HP (work), Dell (at home)
24. Your life? blessed
25. Your mood? Tired
26. Missing someone? not at the moment
27. Your car? Pontiac Vibe
28. Something you’re not wearing? watch
29. Favorite Store? I don't have one. I hate to shop anywhere.
30. Your summer? nice and relaxing (I have summers off now.)
31. Like someone? Dr. House
32. Your favorite color? yellow
33. When is the last time you laughed? Really, really laughed? I don't know. But, Holden makes me chuckle on a daily basis.
34. Last time you cried? Tuesday when my mom called to update me on how my dad was doing
35. Who will respond to this? probably no one
36. Who’s answers are you anxious to see? whoever decides to participate
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